Most news coverage about the recent gas hikes focuses on the effect it has on ordinary people, the middle class who need to get to commute to work everyday. However, these prices created a different crisis that effects a different group of people, the people that sell us our gas. At gas stations around the country there is a concern about the shortage of giant plastic movable numbers on the large signs on the corner. As the prices climb the numbers need to reflect this new price and sadly, many stations are unprepared.
“I just stockpiled `2’s and now it looks like those will be useless until gas hits $12 a gallon,” one gas station owner who wished to remain anonymous complained.
Indeed, long time owners who are used to the slow hikes of the previous years did not expect to run through the $2 cycle so fast. Many now have to make plans to put their number `2’s in storage as they prepare for the summer prices. With some analysts predicting $4 – $5 gallons with impending war with Iran or economic sanctions on the country that would effectively cut off their output, owners of the giant signs are not sure which numbers to invest in.
“I prepared for the worst,” anonymous Mr. A continued. “I now have large stacks of `3′, `4′, and `5′ in case (the price should climb that high). I like to get the most for my money but I fear that if we shoot through the `3′ (dollar price range) too fast, I’ll have to put them in storage nearly new.”
Other owners are talking about turning the capital letter `E’ backwards to simulate a `3′. This is referred to as a `robot 3′ or `alarm clock 3′ causing irk among competitors who claim that sloppy attitude gives all stations a bad reputation. These are the same owners who cite the fact that not only do they have to pay for the large numbers but also for the small numbers they add to try to confuse people about the actual price. They note, however, that this number largely remains a `9′ and hasn’t been different in over 20 years.
The large numbers are notorious for blowing off the board in strong winds by employees who improperly place the number on the sign with their giant suction wand. These numbers are lost to kids who steal them or simply blow away into the sunset like a giant number tumbleweed. Other problems noted is the storage dilemma. Owners claim there is simply not enough room to store their growing stockpiles. Originally the storage areas were designed to house `1’s and are becoming overcrowded with the larger integer brethren. Whether it is the Funion end cap that has to go or the new addition of the Blueberry Banana Coldy iced drink, it is clear that the ordinary people will lose. When asked to comment on this ignored crisis most people interviewed remain insensitive to the plight of the gas station owners responding like this individual.
“They’re upset about what? You gotta be (expletive) kidding me. I had to go to that crooked `Check Into Cash’ to get a loan to fill up today.”
ROTFLMAO
They could just leave up “ARM” and “LEG” like in your first picture, and that would cover matters quite accurately for the foreseeable future, I’m afraid.
Or just post up there “Are you sure you wanna know?”
Maybe they could use pictures on signs like in The Handmaid’s Tale. This one should do nicely…
Try $4.50 a gallon.. Nuff said.
Dust off old bikes.
h/t: Thinkprogress
a picture of a bicycle, cuz that’s what we’re going to be using in pretty short order…
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. How happy am I that I sold my car last week? So happy.
I had a conversation with a Republican friend not long ago wherein I asserted that one of the primary reasons for the wars is to secure energy resources and capitalize on them. She responded with, “I keep hearing that from you liberals but if that’s the case then why don’t we have cheaper gas?” To which I responded with a snort, “Oh honey, you don’t really believe they’re over there stealing that oil for you, do you? No wonder you keep voting for these bastards, they’ve got you totally hoodwinked.”
Exxon made $36 billion and some change last year in profits – an increase of over 40% from the previous year. They took in total almost $340 billion last total.
I know! I told her that they were raking in record profits and screwing her while she played cheerleader, but you know Republicans, selective hearing. It’s like anything that contradicts Dear Leader flips that switch in their brain that goes LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU.