As I posted in the Froggy Bottom Cafe – I’m taking a very extended leave from Booman Tribune.
My reasons are all spiritual in nature and in the nature of growth. My reasons are to walk away from the conflict that is present among some here.
—
Some observations
- Over the past year I have seen some very powerful writers post here – and then leave. Their diaries are in my Hotlist and I’ve read them over and over again.
- I’ve watched, and felt, the pain and anger of betrayal of the strong women that came during the Pie Wars at DailyKos.
- I’ve watched and been part of the tremendous amount of healing and growing and change that happened as the Pie War survivors simply became BooTribbers instead.
- I’ve watched and been part of an emotional growth and healing and bonding among some really powerful writers on this site. There is so much personal that has been shared that many of you are closer than any real life brothers and sisters.
- I’ve watched, and read vicious words be used against entire groups of people. Whether those people were Arabic, or Hispanic, or Christians, or Soldiers.
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This past couple of months I have seen so much that is a lack of community on the site. This lack of community on the blog is in direct contrast to the feelings of total connectedness I felt in San Diego. There is so much underlying tension and bitterness, that I’m actually more comfortable spending my time back in the shark tank at DailyKos. There I know I need to watch my back. It is too bad that voices that were trusted and respected at Booman Tribune have become voices I now consider enemies. The positive is that almost all the strong voices that post here, cross post there. I shall not miss your works…as they shall be found.
There are many here that are totally wrapped into their own worlds and simply condemn that which they do not approve of or want. As I did at DailyKos, I will take a long time and re-evaluate the people and their voices here. It took me 6 months to go back to the Orange site. Putting it into perspective kept other’s negative views from impacting my life.
So for now I will walk a path of my own choosing. I have several places to write and share my voice. If it is spiritual it will be at Village Blue or one of my sites. If it is political – I will post where it feels most appropriate…DailyKos or Booman Tribune or My Left Wing.
For now – I leave you with the thoughts that Ghostdancers Way gave us last June.
THE TEN INDIAN COMMANDMENTS!
Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect!
Remain close to the Great Spirit
Show great respect for your fellow beings
Work together for the benefit of all mankind!
Give assistance and kindness wherever needed
Do what you know to be right
Look after the well-being of mind and body
Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good
Be truthful and honest at all times
Take full responsiblity for your actions…..
I have harmed some with my words in anger today. It will be for me to make peace with my soul for that harm because I make no apologies for those words as they were in defense of others not here in this fight.
May you each find your own path to peace and harmony within you. There are many here that I love beyond words. You know who you are and we touch across the stars and moon and sun…and walk this spiritual path together.
And it harm none, do as you will.
I challenge each of you to reach inside yourself and truly know whether your words and actions intentionally, or may unintentionally, harm others.
Blessed Be
May she bring sunshine and growth to each of us
May the Watchtowers guide us…in whatever direction we go.
Air for the wind beneath our wings
Fire for the passion in our souls
Earth to keep us grounded in reality
Water to give us rebirth frm within.
So Mote it Be.
(and I’m not talking Irish whiskey, folks), may I offer this…with a modification just for you:
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May the Goddess hold you in the palm of Her hand.
Will try to make the 5/7 get-together…
Blessed be, Sally…
You make me smile always with your comments and presence. We will meet again…by words or in person.
I’ll email in the morning…thank you for the modified blessing!
uncomfortable truths, and they are definitely there.
I was glad to see ghostdancer’s way pop into my diary this morning, but he is just one of many voices that are no longer here for various reasons. I don’t know how to fix it other than to promote civility when we’re discussing issues, especially heated ones like the topics in MT’s diary today.
I have had the honor to meet you, SallyCat, and witness your humanity and nuances that color your writing. It’s so difficult to gage what emotions are behind a line of text, or even the memories/tragedies/celebrations that have occurred in a person’s life to give them a particular worldview. We can’t know unless we’re willing to share those stories or at least given a heads up on them.
You walk a path of humanity and passion, my friend, and I’ll make sure to find you wherever you choose to spend your time. Paz
I’ll make sure I spend time visiting your site. You have so much wisdom to teach me…and I wish to learn.
You also make me laugh and wonder and think.
Walk in peace mi amigo y hermano until we meet again.
I respect your decision to take a long break.
You are right. Orange is easier because there are no expectations. I’m sure we’ll run into each other there.
Peace SallyCat.
I’ve seen you there…and you are right there are no expectations.
There is a lot to be said for being in a small pond – a friendship and sharing not found in big places. That said there is a lot energy that is needed to be in small spaces.
Thank you for your encouragement and support.
Just moving through an empty hand
I said life ain’t nothin’ but a river
Moving through an empty hand
You can hold on if you wanna
But Lord when the truth hits the fan
Smack dab in the 20th century
Machine guns on every block
Smack dab in the 20th century
Machine guns on every block
You know a big stick don’t make a shepherd
If he can’t control the flock
You better rise up Rudyard Kipling
Cause the methinks the end draw ever nigh
I said you better rise up Rudyard Kipling
Cause the methinks the end draw ever nigh
To all the sons of the pentagon
Write a haiku from Chairman Mao
Tell em
Tell em
Tell em you can’t shit the shitter baby
No matter how hard you try
You better look out for the Blue Guerilla
You better look out for the Blue Guerilla
You better look out for the Blue Guerilla
From the song Look Out for the Blue Guerilla by Kain (on the album Blue Guerilla)
Gylan Kain was one pissed-off cat when he wrote and rapped that back in 1970, and from what I gather hasn’t lost any intensity in what are now his golden years. It is a truism that it’s impossible any more to be a person of conscience and consciousness without being outraged just about every waking moment.
I know it’s not especially PC these days to diss the military, but let’s face it, as long as it is used as a tool to prop up American Hegemony (Empire, or whatever one wishes to call it), it will be part of the problem rather than part of any solution acceptable to its ever-growing body of victims. It’s probably equally un-PC to acknowledge that the illusion shared in varying degrees by many liberals and conservatives alike that we Americans are a “people of the covenant” is simply that – an illusion – and an illusion that will be shattered sooner or later. Other great powers of the past harboring similar illusions have ended up taking a fall. We ain’t any different – and like it or not, much of the rest of the planet is hip to that.
Maybe folks like me and DTF have it wrong, and maybe the US is truly the “beacon on the hill” – a well-intentioned behemoth merely temporarily beset by madmen. My heart would love to believe that, but my head tells me otherwise. It’s safe to say that we may or may not share the same assumptions or beliefs – but hopefully can agree or disagree in a spirit of friendship.
As Kain says, “life ain’t nothin’ but a river, flowing through an empty hand.” It’s pointless trying to hold on.
Not sure where I’m going with this. Let’s just say that we humans are pack animals, and whatever pack or packs you run with, I wish you a safe journey.
Peace, love and light.
I do understand the frustrations of you and DF and others. What I do not understand is what I perceive as missing the humanness of us all in comments and arguments. In our anger at some too many times there are blanket statements made without consideration of their impact.
I wish no ill on others, but I do understand my human limitations of temper and anger and the desire for vengeance.
We are a global people – not just Americans or Chinese or Mexicans or whatever nation you choose. We are men and women of all colors and faiths. It is our leaders that we need to fight, not each other.
You quote Mao – and he was initially a man of words and of the people. His leadership ultimately changed him. Mohammed spoke of peace and led his people in peace – until he needed to defend his people. But Peace first.
The most powerful revolutions have been ones of words and peace from advocates of non-violence.
If we choose to use the blogs for aggressive words then we lose the fight for the people of this small planet before we begin.
May the river cleanse us of our anger and let the water of our tears clear our eyes to see. Walk in peace and perhaps we shall meet again with less anger among some of us.
“It is our leaders we have to fight, not each other.”
There it is in a nice, neat nutshell.
I was born in 1940 and raised an proud American. For all of my early years, i believed everything I was told about my country clear to my bones, which all made it out to be almost a fully formed utopia, compared to other countries, and made ME some sort of espcially blessed, extra special being, for just having the good fortune of being born here.
It has been a long and excruciating disillusionment for me, from then till now, and the more truths I am forced to confront about the history and actions of the former and present elected leaderships of my beloved country, the deeper it becomes. I accept fully, my own portion of the responsibility I bear as an American, for not being more aware,and much more invoved all along, in holding that leadership accountable, and in seeing that leaders with integrity were elected. I have to live with the burden of my own failure to do my part, as an American.I need to do what I can now that I am awake and aware.
Oner HUGE part of what I need to do now, IS TO SEE MYSELF not as just an American, but also as a full citizen of the global community, where, as you so eloquently state, we are all human being first. That means NOT painting ANY “group of peeople” with the same paint brush. Ever.
Because within every single grouping of people, there are all KINDS of people. Just as right here in America, we have the power elite in charge now, totally blinded by their own addiction to power and weath and control…AND we have every so many MORE people who ARE awake and growing more aware and involved every single day..and a goodly number of them are gathering together in places like this, where we can FIND each other, share info, draw strengh and become more powerful.
So, to paint all Americans with the same paintbrush, espcially in places like this, where the ones who are more awake tend to gather.. just isn’t such a good idea, in my book. Anymore that we ought to be painting all Muslims, all Jews, all blacks, gays or any other “segment” of the global polulation with the same brush here or anywhere the hell ELSE!
But it is going to take time. Old habits die so very hard. Big emotions will always distort communication and affect perspectives. Walls that have been built so tall between us, will NOT all fall down overnight, no matter how badly we want them to, because so many of the damned things remain invisible to any of us!
I look at the people I respect so much who hang out here, on both “sides” of this one..and I don’t see any damned difference in your hearts..at ALL! I see you..us.. ALL wanting exactly the same things, and that is the truth.
And I see that in trying to communicate..to “come closer together” we all risk running into those goddanned invisible walls..over and over. But can’t SEE them all, so we think it’s each other we are running into and we either lash out..or we have to go away.
I do not have any easy answers to any of this, but I know this much for sure: this particular combination of people are gathered here for a damned good reason.
I think these same kinds of combo’s of people is happpening now in a LOT of places all around the globe. ..and maybe, just maybe…it’s to butt up against these damned walls long enough to weaken them..or at least to start to SEE them..so we CAN combine our strengths and start of get the hell RID of all that has separated us and kept us at were for SO long.
Maybe we can’t see and operate enough of the time from that shared humanness you, we all.. so yearn for Sally, simply because we’re still so afraid. We always fear what we cannt see or know..and how well CAN we “see or truly know” each other..separated by those FUCKING invisible walls. (My GAWD..do I ever HATE HATE HATE those FUCKING WALLS!)
(Some very not so healthy and very controlling aspect of me wishes had the power to lock the damned doors so NOBODY could leave here for now..and we’d all HAVE to keep at this!) But I know that’s not how things work. Free will..stage of readiness..personal priorities..right timing for each..all of this will dictate who remains and who moves on..because of this issue..and thats ok too. This wall battering porject is not going to stop, because the ball is rolling in the right direction now..as it needs to..and there will alasy be the right combo of people ready to help it along.There are waves and waves of us..that want to do away with the walls…we just don’t make the news, and because we can’t always recognise each ogther very well..because of the friggin walls!
That’s enough..geeze..this got me dander up!
But not at any of you.
Just at..those THOSE FUCKING WALLS!
(I am too mad to spellcheck so you will have to live with my imperfections)
Scribe – I have been bouncing back and forth between Sally’s diary and your Reflections on Online Communities.
I just had to tell you that what you have written here and there is brilliant. IMO this comment, the linked diary, and the link within the diary to On Community Conflicts should be required reading for everyone who is or becomes a “User.”
This is such an apt description. We bump into our invisible walls and sparks fly.
I do not know if we can ever eliminate all of our walls, but I do believe we can learn to recognize when we are at them and create a door. So the next time we come to the wall we know we can look for the door. And with practice we can recognize the wall and find the door much more quickly. 🙂
Thank you.
Thanks very much for the links and kind words, Tampopo.
I like that visual, of bumping into something and realizing its another freakin wall, then setting about seeking the doorway. And if there isn’t one visible, there’s always the option of creating one, which will go faster if both parties dig through the wall from both sides at once! It just takes wanting to badly enough.
What if the most vitally needed kind of “community” exists not in a defined place, website, town or neighborhood, but on a much vaster, non physical plane?
What if blog communities are really gathering places, where we pause awhile to meet and discover “like others,” who then become a permanent part of our inner community from then on, regardless of where our bodies, or fingers may be when they hit “send”?
What if Boo, Kos, MCOC, all the blog owners, are really like matchmakers whose task it is to create these meeting places where we can come together and connect, where we can contribure what we have to share, and then it’s time move on, much expanded and stronger..to spread more good ripples along the way?
And what if, when the “exchange” is complete, things just “happen” that nudge us out of place, make us move on, because there are more others waiting. that we are to hook up with? Or because our contributions are needed in other places besides the one we had been calling “home?”
“Home.” So hard to leave a place that has felt like “home”. But what if “home” is really everywhere that there are “like others” for us to come together with? What if we are intended to have many, many many “homes” along our way, learning and growing and exchanging in each but just for awhile, each?
I like knowing you SallyCat, and I am not worried about missing you because I know you are a part of mhy community, wherever you are typing away!
As with my angry journey away from DailyKos I needed time to get past the feeling of betrayal I felt there. There are so many diaries and comments in the past few months that have pushed my perspective out of balance. As has been noted there are those that are at the basis of yesterday’s conflict…but they are not my reason for leaving. This journey has been waiting for me for many months now…and it is time.
I currently rage with the fire of passion yet not soaring high enough on the wind to see the full picture. I am grounded in the here and now yet have not washed away the anger with the healing water of nature.
There are a few here that are holding my hands as I grow to another level yet. They are helping me while I regain a balance of the elements in my life.
This is a community with many strong, loving, and wonderful people. With any community there are bullies…so be it. Consider this a break for self-defense training! lol!
I do intend to return – to many no different. Some will see a growth and change as I seek to soar with the Eagles.
Be at peace Scribe…I leave of my own free will…and will return the same.
SallyCat, Maybe it’s that my attention is directed in 12 different places at once (or me being typically oblivious), I haven’t seen the things you have described. But I do know that your presence here will be greatly missed. You are one of our best writers here. Take the time you need and come back to us. Of course, I still go over the dkos so I’ll see you there. But the size of that place often leaves little space/time for the things that I’ve taken for granted here. Peace to you.
Sally, I’ve read some of the comments here and in the original diary. I’m taking the liberty of adding to my original comment. It seems that one or two individuals are causing you to have your current feelings. I would ask you to reconsider. You are a greatly valued member here. Take a few days, think, and see how you feel. I really would miss seeing you around here. Don’t let the comments of one or two drive you off. Besides, you are one of the few that regularly read my posts, so I won’t let you go without a fight. 😉 Hugs to you!
Your diaries always reach to me and find me. You are one of those special people that touches me with your diaries…especially on religion.
A Native American writer that I am trying to understand asked a question:
Q: “Does the shadow carry clout?”
A: “Rotten behavior, like rot in an apple’s core, spreads outward, devouring every piece of innocence, positive creativity, and kindness in it’s path”
Earth Medicine by Jamie Sams
I am choosing to take some time to walk in the sunshine and away from the shadows. You are in my heart and part of the sunshine that I carry in my soul.
Oh my, SallyCat. I have been working and not here as much as I should. I will be missing you for you are one of us. Please consider coming back at least once in a while to join with us the communion of friendships. My heart aches knowing y ou will not be here when I read or write. I will certainly miss you. Go in peace and know you will be missed…looking forward to your coming back and hugs and more hugs.
Ah do not worry Brenda I am not far away. My journey is within and to the stars.
In the Celtic and Native American traditions each has the right to say something…and we must each listen. So I am hearing the thoughts of those that came to wish me a safe journey.
Be at peace and know that the conflicts will be in perspective for me…and do not cause my departure.
I shall come back periodically – this is not good-bye just a ‘see ya later’ time.
Hugs Brenda!
PS: I miss ppl like GDW, Oui, Susan, IP..and I am sure I am missing others too. Just know that I want you to come back from time to time for a visit. hugs…
Can I ask what has been the conflict here? I must be missing out on a whole lot, as of late. Will some one tell me please..
Rest awhile. Clear the spirit. Be at peace. When a relationship has serrved its purpose the spirit moves us in another direction.
Having met you and others here recently this deeply saddens me. One by one some really fabulous writers/activists are leaving this site. It may be time to do an inventory of the site. Why are so many people leaving? Are we achieving our purpose here?
People were so hurt and taken aback by SusunHu’s last post slamming the Muslims yet we have a poster here that won’t reveal his nationality or where he lives but slams every American for the sins of the father and he is slapped on the back and applauded and reverred here on a daily basis.DT”S words yesterday cut me as an AMericasn so deeply I had to step away because I knew I was ready to blow a gasket. Is this really the community that we thought it was? It has changed so much in the past six months. It is sad.
Be well and stay in touch SallyCat. It was great talking to you last night. Peace my friend.
You are not the only one who has taken note of that double standard someone has for himself, Leezy, but I don’t think people are applauding it. Frankly, I’m disgusted and sick of it at this point.
Sallycat, I wish you the best.
You are right CabinGirl. I am just so sick right now that his writings are posted here. Between his obscene postings of condoning female genital mutilation and now condemning ALL americans for Bush’s sins I have had it.
I know that most people realize they can click a person’s name and read their comments for themselves.
But when the person comments a lot, especially in long threads, that can be asking a lot.
It might be helpful to people who are short on time if you could post specific quotes with links to the things you reference.
And I’m not singling you out, I would make this suggestion to anyone who references someone else’s posts.
to her. I guess I missed a couple of days when this kerfuffle occurred. Probably no one wants to open this wound. But I would be very interested in seeing a link to her goodbye diary or comment. I think about her. I wonder how her raccoons are doing. (This is not snark, although it might be a little frivolous, given the context of this diary.)
No, I for one do not want to open that wound. Let’s leave it alone ok?
I can’t really say that I left, because I was never a super-active participant here. But when Susan left, I participated even less. She’s a good, caring person, and her writing was one of the main things that brought me here.
Susan was one of those public voices. I think BT is diminished by her absence but she continues to be a courageous journalist.
You remember Lewis H. Lapham? he was a big hero for a couple of days for his March essay on the need to impeach Bush. He cannot be dismissed as another Michelle Malkin.
Perhaps it would be more appropriate to attack the arguments of a person than the person themselves?
Some day I’ll write publicly about why I left BT. All I’ll say is that is wasn’t about philisophical or political disagreements, it was directly related to a personal attack against me.
My 2 cents from a safe distance: if you want to keep this community intact and functioning as a vehicle for sorely needed change, the best I can offer is to stop viewing other BTers as “enemies” and to engage them in debate over their opinions – not their persons.
And, if this community cannot function because some opinions are disturbing, causing some to leave, then all I can say is that some people may be missing a huge opportunity for personal growth that is afforded by such diversity.
Hell, I just went through that with some Bush supporters who invaded my blog and actually had to hang out elsewhere for a few hours to regroup. But, in the end, those who challenged my thinking taught me very valuable lessons, caused me to deeply evaluate my beliefs and strengthened my understanding of my priorities. I gained immensely from that experience and now I’ll carry on to blog another day, knowing that I can handle such vehement disagreements without losing myself as a person.
Okay – now that I have your undivided attention…I shall see more of you at your site. I’ll keep you posted on this fabulous journey that I am taking…and re-evaluating the conflicts here. The conflicts do not make me leave…but give me more food for thought!
Me – I’m more the chocolate brownie type for food…and it helps me think too!
Hugs and love Catnip!
I was 1000% wrong about saying SusanHu slammed Muslims. I was trying to make a point and did it very poorly. To those I have offended please accept my deepest apologies.
Thank you Leezy for saying this. I was pretty shocked at your statement, but I thank you for taking it back. I know your point and that wasn’t it. :>)
No more cute pootie pics????? No more cute puppy pics? This can’t be true, it just can’t!!!!!! Well, one must be resigned, I suppose…. and I wish you well in your travels, Sally Cat. Happy Trails! (Plus I hope you read that long post last night that I took HOURS to write. OK, not hours, but it was for you and I was hoping would help with my incredibly sage and balanced point of view. LOL!!!! I mean, really. What do I know? Sheesh!)
I did read your comment – this morning. Last night I had to walk away…and I know what was done and said in anger…and I shall think about that but not change it. For me it was a time of standing and fighting. I accept the personal moral consequences of my actions but will not change them.
I’ll go toss a couple of pootie pics in this morning’s cafe – just for you!
Be at peace on your new path as well mythmother. As we both know change comes when the pain is too much.
We shall meet again on this wonderous path we call life. Blessed be.
Thanks for the reply, SallyCat. I know you will find the truth you are seeking. Here’s what I’ve been thinking about the curvature of the earth. That we always come back to the place where we started, and it’s always the same infinite eternal place where we are One with the Universe. The reason it feels like a different place each time we complete the cycle, and we think we have moved, is because of memories, but all memories are false. They are false because each of us, no matter how objective or clear-minded, only remembers selectively and from a unique point of view. So my memories can have aspects of truth, but cannot be true, and therefore are false and obscure the stillpoint in the circle of life. That is the logic to the illusion which we call reality, and maybe I’m waxing philosophical just because change is so hard and it’s so much work to move!
People grow and change and develop new interests and new paths to take. Community is a fluid thing; constantly changing. Communities include people who share your views and people with dissenting views.
On a purely pragmatic note I’ll say that there were 2 people you had a problem with in that diary and both were disrespectful and derisive. I heard you call out that no one was coming to your defense and in my case it was only that I’m sick to death of these spats where nothing is resolved and then the whole community is broad-brushed.
So, just as DTF was painting all Americans as idiots who are totally submissive to a terrorist government, so you are unfairly characterizing all of BT as a hostile environment. You are doing exactly what you were so offended that DTF did.
FWIW I completely agree that it totally serves his purpose to remain mysterious and anonymous while using his knowledge of our nationality to slam us.
But what do you, or we as a community, gain by constantly picking at the scab?
I know there are people here that I disagree with. If I can change their minds I will try my best to do so. If engaging with them will only further my frustration and anger than I choose to not engage.
I wish you well.
I tried so hard to limit it to ‘some’ that were disruptive. It appears that I failed in that attempt and for those that are offended by the diary I apologize.
It is part of who I am to stand and fight for fairness. To try to see that the balance doesn’t tip to far one way or the other. I have walked away from many fights here…because I no longer have the energy reserves that I need for the fights.
Is it truly fair to say that some of us pick the scabs while others are swinging wildly with sharp blades?
When my energy to hold up a bright light shining on the scales of justice and balnce and fairness is restored then I shall return. I have found that I have allowed a few to taint my perspective…that’s what this time away is about – perspective.
As I said to others – I am only human and suffer from the weaknesses of anger and temper. I choose to walk away until I can see without the blackness of that anger surrounding me. If I have offended you, I apologize, it was not my intent.
Peace
I was behind you all the way, even in your anger. I think he is a disruptive force even as he claims to want a soft place to fall; a community to call home.
I just don’t engage.
Definitely take some time away. You are a very sensitive and empathetic human being, and if you need time away to recharge then do it because this world needs you at your energetic best.
Sorry to see you leave. On the one hand I wonder what is was that made you leave, and on the other hand I wonder why you would cut and run. One of things that attracted me to this site was the sharing of experiences and, it seemed to me, the willingness of diarists and commentators alike to allow those experiences to become part of the community here. One of the reasons for a “politics of experience,” if you will, is to place what we share on a deeper level than opinion, which is the currency of blogs like this and DKos and MLW and so many others. We are all so much more than our opinions. But shouldn’t we also be careful not to become so obsessed with our own opinions that we equate them with ourselves. I hold pretty strong opinions on politics and religion, for example, but have relationships with people I don’t agree with because we all relaize that our opinions are only one part of who we are, and not always the most important part.
Communities don’t mean much if we can leave them easily. Blogs are artificial communtities to start with so the difficulty of relating to one another is compounded by the relative opacity of the written word. It makes it so easy to be offended and to just give up and say the hell with the whole lot of them.
The Lakota of the nineteenth century were the freest society I know of. No one was compelled to do anything. But everyone was encouraged to share their visions, dreams and aspirations so that these private things became part of the public life of the community. I’m sure there were plenty of arguments about courses of action and about differences of opinion. You certainly don’t have to stay involved here. No one can compel you to stay, but we can ask you to. We’ll miss what you brought to us.
Dear Sally,
I wish you well. I always will. You’ve touched my life in ways much deeper than a simple aquaintance on a blog. But I have to wonder, like phronesis above, why you would leave. The community we have here, such as it is, is made up of many differing opinions and origins. Not just pro soldier or anti soldier. My opinion lies somewhere in the middle. And I don’t understand your frustration that no one came to your defense. I’m sure many would quickly come to your defense on a personal level, but it’s possible that your opinion of soldiers, and how they should be treated, is but one, among many. Maybe others here could not defend your position. I’m just guessing of course. No one’s opinions here are any more or less right than any others. The conflicts come in our methods of dealing with one another. That’s my opinion. For what it’s worth, I left a comment for DT expressing my disapproval in his tone. But in fairness, whether I share your opinion about soldiers or not, there were comments by you that weren’t in the keeping of how I see this community. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know. But that’s how I see it.
I wish you wouldn’t leave. And honestly, I get a little weary of these goodbye diaries. If you can no longer countenance your participation here, then why not communicate those decisions to the members that you call friends and go quietly? I haven’t been posting here really for a while now. But I felt no need to publicize my need to step away. Those close to me know I’ve been gone and they’ve reached out in other ways.
Anyway, I hope this hasn’t come across as scolding in any way. I would hope you know how deeply I respect you. Always have, and I doubt anything could ever change how I feel about you. I wish you nothing but happiness and contentment in your life. You are truly special.
Love,
Michael
If I was leaving and not coming back I would simply walk away.
There are those that have commented here that I do not interact with regularly, those that do not comment for reasons of their own choosing, and others that have reached out to me in other diaries that I care about. I wrote this diary out of respect to those quiet members of this community. I chose not to let this community believe I walked away in anger…a belief we have seen happen before. See my response to scribe about community.
In fairness, there were angry words said yesterday and I acknowledge mine and accept the consequences. The same can not be said for others. In this case I choose to hold myself to a higher standard. That is to walk away from the conflict until I know how I will handle my response to it better.
I wish you well in your journeys Michael. I carry a separate hurt about your absence…one that I will not dwell on here. A hurt of non-communication between friends.
This community has shown me great respect and I am humbled by their acceptance. I am doing this diary out of respect for their acceptance of who I am.
Like I said Sally,
I wish you nothing but happiness and contentment. Along with those wishes go my apologies if my absence from here, and/or my absence from our personal friendship have hurt you in any way. I have been absent from just about everyone and everything except for my most urgent and immediate need to address some very stressfull and hurtful events that are threatening, in a very real way, my family’s security. I’ve not had the energy, or the heart, I’m sad to say, to carry any more responsibility than I have. If I’ve hurt you, please know that it was never my intention to allow that to happen.
Peace
I haven’t been online much in the last day and a half. From what I can gather, this relates back to comments made by DuctapeFatwa in MilitaryTracy’s diary from a day or two ago.
When it comes to conflict resolution, I hope the community is capable of it, without needing any administrators to step in and take sides.
Sometimes people need to have a little fight because there is a basic conflict of ideas and values that cannot be resolved without a fight. As long as people try to abide by the basic rules (understandanly bent somewhat during such conflicts) I think we can handle it.
I don’t know everything that happened here, but I hope that SallyCat does not take a long hiatus.
Taking a cursory look, it seems like the community handled this just fine.
Other comments – to scribe and supersoling among others – express my journey.
This journey is one of transition for me without anger towards any. I do not dwell on anger as it is not healthy. Open acceptance of my anger is part of my acceptance of myself. Acceptance that their are others that do harm with their words and actions is part of my life also. Some of us learn to shield ourselves from such harm by becoming stronger within.
This journey is truly a spiritual one and of regaining balance within my soul. Know that this is my journey to being a stronger person.
Be at peace Booman
I don’t know… I started to write something last night, in Tracy’s diary. And then again this morning, writing a diary of my own. Both times, for whatever reason, I decided not to. Then I saw this and I thought… well, maybe. We’ll see if I hit send ;). I tend to be more of a silent observer than a full fledged participant, but sometimes it is better to speak.
When I was reading through Tracy’s diary and the comments yesterday, I thought of how often our different life experiences will color our perceptions of things said and unsaid. Yeah, I know… profound cliche, no? But still, it is true.
As someone born and raised on American soil, I have the luxury of viewing the US military as part of the fabric of my life. Maybe a family member, or a co-worker or a friend’s son or daughter – whichever, someone who is a real someone when they are at home. Even though I don’t support war, or the military, I can exist in that sort of duality of separating the person from the organization, if need be. Because I only know the real person side. If I had been born in another country, things might not be so simple.
When the first bombs dropped on Baghdad, during the “Shock and Awe” phase, I sat there watching with tears streaming down my face, uncontrollably. I wish I could say that it was totally because I knew the invasion was wrong and illegal and was a terrible thing, but… while it was all of that and more, I was really pierced to the heart because – with the palm trees and buildings sillouetted against the night sky, and the reflections off the water, and the road and so many things – it looked to my eye as if they were bombing the place where I grew up, Southern California, Los Angeles to be exact.
Every time there was a boom and a flash, I could see the streets underneath the explosions, in my mind… the familiar streets crumbling, crazy Hollywood Blvd denizens scurrying for cover, or being caught in the blast and dying, my city being destroyed. For that short period of time, it became very personal for me.
Of course it was all a vanity, because I was safe as could be, snug inside my little home, watching all this on the TV from very very far away, in no danger at all. BUT… it was reality for some people. Whether they watched from here as places they had possibly grown up in, or visited, or had family in were pulverized. Not just the buildings and the streets, but the people themselves. Or maybe they didn’t know anyone there, or in Afghanistan, but maybe somewhere else entirely, in a completely different part of the world, at some other point in time, where the family the guns were pointed at (or shooting at) was theirs, or the ancestral home leveled in the name of “US interests” was the one that contained their friends and family.
I don’t know anyone’s personal history of things such as this, but it is something I can imagine… and something that we will come across more and more online as we run smack dab into Others, as well as offline. I noticed some of the questions in the original military diary went something like…”Can’t you just talk to a soldier, say hi, buy them a meal, thank them for doing their job, even if you don’t agree with the job” and so on… It has to be understood, for some people, the answer to questions like that will be “No”.
Some don’t have the luxury of separating the soldier from the person, because it is not as the person they know them, or that their families know them. Whether one is a military supporter or not, it must be accepted that all over the world, “doing their jobs” sometimes consists of destroying other people’s lives and countries. Some of those people wind up in the US and other countries, when their own has been destroyed or placed under a US friendly dictator of one sort or another.
Anyway, this comment is getting way too long… I guess what I am trying to say is for some (and not only non US born people), there is no separating the persons from the actions and no amount of rah rah we are Americans, support the troops but not this war, support the people but not the policies or actions and so on will make any difference.
I think this sort of thing should be discussed (no doubt in a much more coherent manner than can be done in a comment) instead of swept aside, because it’s not really something we can avoid just by moving to a different spot.
Hi Nanette, oops, I hope no one saw the low rating I accidentally gave you and just now noticed, oh dear.
I was going to write a comment, but I’ll just add my thoughts here.
As someone who has gone through a few of these type of “upsets” I just one to add that has been pointed out to me by others during those times, it’s just a few people we fight with, not the whole site. At some point we just have to agree to disagree and leave it at that. I know full well that’s not easy to do, but it can work.
Sally, I don’t think you should limit your participation here, you are such a powerful writer and and advocator for your causes and beliefs, remember the many who are your friends in this community and indeed it is with all it’s faults and failings of any group of people, a commmunity….that diary, those words written by one side or another do not change the basic spirit of the site.
I have not written much lately as I just don’t find the words or do not feel them worthy of placing on the internet and sometimes wish I could get back the passion for writing that seems to have waned in recent months.
And Sally I send to you my love, tons of hugs, and know that I think of you often with great affection and pleasure of getting to meet and talk with you. I only wish more of us could meet members like we did.
Another oops:
should be:
I just want to add what has been pointed out to me by others during those times, it’s just a few people we fight with, not the whole site.
It’s still early in Ca., that’s my excuse ‘de jour(sp)’.
I saw that, diane! Of course, I knew that your “four finger” had slipped, so I wasn’t worried ;).
I think there is not only room, but an actual necessity for views and disagreements of all sorts (respectful, preferably) in communities like this. It’s how we grow and learn, even if what we learn is that there is no possibility of agreement or seeing things from the other person’s point of view.
While blogs are still new (although online communities are not), we do have an opportunity to see how best to bridge gaps – in knowledge, experience and so on, with others, if we wish to put in the time and effort (and sometimes heartache), I think. Maybe it can’t be done, but I’m not yet convinced of that.
I too hope you write more and get back your passion for writing – you have a distinct voice (which, again, not everyone agrees with, but that’s a good thing) and it would be nice to hear it more often.
than I ever could. Sometimes I just have to sit and have a quiet moment of “Nanette awe.” 🙂
I think you raise an interesting point about some topics and whether they can be discussed. It is easy for me to say, well I am happy to discuss them, but as we have seen, it may not be that easy for everybody.
What I tend to forget, is not that we are in the middle of World War III, I don’t have that luxury, but I frequently fail to be sensitive enough to the reluctance of some people to accept that, and all the implications thereof.
I can certainly understand that it is painful for people of any country to realize that their military is seen as a thing to be feared, when as you point out, to them they may be just regular folks.
And we could say the same thing about the Minute Men. And the same could have been said of Sheriff Bull Connor’s men, back in the day.
How they are perceived by their families and friends, and how they are perceived by other groups, will have some differences.
The toughest part, I think, for those families and friends, is to accept that the perception is reality, that the fear those Others may have of their loved ones is not an irrational one with no basis in fact, historical or ongoing.
When we say “war is hell,” I think that we all sometimes say it lightly, without taking in all that is meant by those three little words, just how far that hell stretches, how much ground it covers, or how close it is coming, or already has come, sneaking up on them…
Can it be discussed? I don’t know. I have a strong suspicion that discussion of it between ordinary people is the last thing those who profit from it would want.
Your comment seems to me that there are those that are not listening to the words of others or their beliefs. I choose to walk away from you with guidance from my spirit guides. We do not share any beliefs that I am aware of that this point and I do not seek common ground.
Instead I leave you the thoughts on Native American Spiritual Principles as shared by Ghostdancer’s Way. Perhaps his words will resonate somewhere within you and let you consider the part you have chosen in this community.
May you listen to his words and hear what he shared with us.
because it so desperately needed to be said. Being fairly clearly in the ‘no’ category myself, I don’t think I could have found a way of saying it that wasn’t cruel. So I’m glad you did.
But to try and begin that discussion (though not terribly coherently) I think the problem is that at root, we are not all on the same side — not in terms of our political ends, or — equally importantly — in terms of our chosen means.
That doesn’t mean we don’t have things to discuss, or even things some of us might be able agree on, but it does mean that expecting all of us to be willing to ‘thank soldiers’ or ‘support the troops’ is inappropriate.
I tend not to write about soldiers here — and on the couple of occasions I did, it involved a lot of self-censorship and indirection? obfuscation? making it ‘literary’ so that it would be less threatening? –to the point where I titled one of my diaries “On self-censorship’ because I felt like it would be dishonest to do otherwise. Part of the reason why I self-censor, is because I think that if I did write what I think, bluntly and without varnish (in the way that I enviously think I see some writers manage, though I could be mistaken) what I’d write would be discounted because of my subject position as a non-American.
And the reason (besides my general cowardice) that I fear that, is because it happened quite a bit when I lived in the U.S. — and I do see it happen on this board occasionally. I have found it to be one of those things that once done cannot be undone. Once that power relationship is invoked, it can’t really be uninvoked, no matter how much the parties involved regret it and try to pretend otherwise for the sake of saving their friendship. Or at least, that was my experience.
Well I did warn you that I wasn’t being coherent.
So you had harsh words with someone or two… Don’t deprive the rest of us of your input! Damn, I’ve been busy and haven’t stayed on top of everything going on in the Pond but I can’t believe you’re withdrawing like this…
If you want a community that reflects your ideals then you have to be a part of it and stand up for what you like and don’t like.
SallyCat – look what you have done here – you have initiated many comments. And just look at them – they are not quippy things, but very thoughtful responses ranging widely. Why, you are an “instigator”…of deeper thinking. 🙂 Thank you.
What I have discovered here at BT are people who expand my world. Some of the “issues” of the day are discussed very academically. Then someone posts a comment or a diary that says, “Hey this is how that issue is touching me.” The human face appears.
And some of the diaries are about the “personal.” Your diary, When Worlds Collide just touched me so much. Reading about the conflicts in your life, both internal and external, I just kept thinking, “Oh I’m not the only one living on multiple levels.” It was such a relief not to feel so alone.
Then I get greedy, “Please, Sally, I want some more.”
But you need to do what you need to do. Be well.
First – I wholeheartedly recommend the book “Earth Medicine” by Jamie Sams. So much of the work, among several others has prompted much introspection the past few months. It has also given me some great freedom to soar!
So I share with you one of my favorite thoughts…on fear and change.
Much of my writing will be at Village Blue with Diane and Shirl…please come see us…a Magical Place of love and caring.
Be at peace and know that you are not alone.
Sally, you know how very much I understand your position and your feelings.
I will mention only one thing about the “soldier issue.” I do not mean this in any acquisitory or arrogant way, but I DO know the divided feelings you have Sally. I have them too. Those who have never persoanally served in the Military, as we have, can ever understand what that culture, that life, that term of service is like. They have no concept of how it truly takes over your every breathing moment and how it is designed to do exactly that. So it is that we do have great compassion and caring for those currently in the military, especially those young grunts. Even if you have a family member or friend who has been in the military, you will not understand fully what they are experiencing and how they are experiencing it. Broad brushes will not ever cover it. If any of you were ever in the military you know what I am saying.
About taking a rest and a perspective adjustment, Brava! It is what you need, and though we will miss your amazing presence here, we will find you wherever we can and we will be overjoyed at your return.
You know how much I love you and hold you in highest esteem. . .we will stay in touch, and it is a blessing for me that is so.
Very big hugs,
Shirl
i missed everything. i never know what’s going on. lol
I haven’t been here much over the past few months, and missed the disputes that trouble you.
I look forward to reading you again, here or elsewhere.
Saravá Sally!!! (Saravá =Brazilian folk word from Macumba, Candomble, Umbanda. It is a very powerfull greeting and invocation of the spirits. Means something like:Good luck, have a safe trip, May all the power of the universe protect you.)