CLICK TO ENLARGE In a bad omen, Greedar, the Republican Party mascot bolts and runs from President Bush
Washington, DC (APE) – A recent Harris telephone survey of 1000 Americans has netted President Bush some of the worst approval ratings in the history of presidential polling. Only 29% of Americans polled felt that the president was doing a good job overall. With a potential indictment looming over presidential advisor Karl Rove, and the recent revelation of more extensive domestic spying along with the Department of Justice’s abandonment of its investigation into it, the White House is struggling to rally Republicans from sure defeat in the 2006 midterm elections.
Plans at this point will be to have the president press through congress another slate of activist judges to shore up his conservative base. Talks are underway with Southwestern Governors through Mr. Rove to militarize the nation’s southern borders, utilizing an already strained National Guard to turn the issue of illegal immigration into one of Domestic Security.
The White House also has plans to increase the president’s visibility through an ever expanding campaign of photo opportunities. One such opportunity, that apparently went bad yesterday, had the president posing on the White House lawn with Greedar, the Republican Party’s baby elephant mascot. As Bush made his entrance from Marine One, Greedar apparently bolted and ran from President Bush. A quick thinking Vice President Cheney who happened to also be present grabbed a weapon from a member of the Secret Service detail, and was able to shoot and kill the animal before anyone was injured.
Vice President Cheney was reportedly able to drop the fleeing Greedar with only one shot
White House press secretary Tony Snow commented upon the tragic incident: “This was an awful thing to have happen on the White House lawn, and the president sends his condolences to Greedar’s handlers. The incident does, however, serve as an object lesson to those in the Republican Party seeking to distance themselves from the president this fall… we know who you are, and we have your phone records.”
