No not because our candidates are weak or the Worst President Ever is poised to stage the most dramatic comeback in political history thus saving his party from certain doom. No, it’s because Pat Robertson can leg press over 2000 pounds and he’s coming to get you bastards. Better watch out for his scissor leg grip.
Did you know that Pat Robertson can leg-press 2000
pounds! How does he do it?Where does Pat find the time and energy to host a daily, national
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while traveling the globe as a statesman?One of Pat’s secrets to keeping his energy high and
his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake.
Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing
nutrients.Discover what kinds of natural ingredients
make up Pat’s protein shake by registering for your FREE
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Did I mention this isn’t a parody? Go check it out and feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
(Via No Capitol)
Pat Robertson needs to put aside this televangelicism and go full on body buliding. A full ton. Good god. And if it’s a typo, 200lbs? That really isn’t much at all and that’s not being snarky, your gluts + quads are two of the body’s largest muscles and should be able to press 200lbs without much trouble at least once.
Even Chris could do it, honest.
there is no way he can move 2000. Maybe 1000 tops. And I really doubt it.
I’ll bet you a dozen shakes he can!
Robertson’s shakes? or Mickey D’s?
Pat’s God shakes.
Even Chris could do it, honest.
Will I ever know the end of ridicule and cruelty? Listen buddy boy, I’m in excellent physical shape for a chain smoking octogenarian. Damnit!
Hallelujah! Ten more lifts for the Lord!
I shall not doubt, praise the lard!
Hell, his legs have been holding up that massive ego all these years…nuthin’ to it.
and decide to kick my big mouth bitch ass into submission. He better bring a shake though, I think he might need it!
will be that it wasn’t wine served at the Last Supper, but rather one of Pat’s shakes…he got the recipe directly from the Lord… </snark>
Seriously, what separates Robertson from the traveling “preachers”/snake oil salesmen of the Wild West, other than the fact that Robertson has a satellite feed? The God I know and the One he acknowledges are related in Name only…
Snake oil salesman? Pat gives them a bad name. A friend of mine was brave enough to sign up for an eternity of Pat Robertson spam and got her hands on the PDF. Wheeeee! Good stuff. I’d post it, but Pat is a litigious little bastard and I don’t feel like to provoking the wrath of Robertson’s godly lawyers.