I know I shouldn’t do this, but I feel compelled to write a little about this whole blogger anonymity thing that’s all the rage with the kids these days. Some of you have probably noticed that my pseudonym lacks creativity and pizzaz. When I first started blogging I struggled to think of a decent blogger name and finally settled on one that would be pretty easy for me to remember even if I was really drunk. I’m not saying I always remember it, but usually some kind soul, like my wife or mother, will say something like “Chris, you’re drooling again” and jar my memory. I was originally going to go by Chris Baldwin, but the two extra syllables and the space just seemed like too much effort. I’m nothing if not a lazy bastard.
All of this is just a long stupid way of saying that I’ve never done this anonymously. That’s pretty easy for me to do because nobody cares who the hell I am. Furthermore, my employer isn’t going to fire me over what I write on a blog and even if they did, I pretty much hate my job anyway. I did take a step back once. About a year ago, after getting some fairly creepy comments and emails that struck me as a bit off, I decided to register my domain anonymously, just so that it would be a little harder for the average violent freak show to find my home address. I anguished over that a little bit and I think that if I was single and lived alone, I probably wouldn’t have bothered. I live in Philadelphia after all, and the average internet freak show probably has nothing on the guy taking a leak on my neighbor’s stoop.
I do have some advise though. If you decide to write a blog or publish anything on the internet, you should assume that you cannot stay anonymous. This is doubly true if people actually read what you write, though admittedly this is not a problem I’m familiar with. Just assume from the start that everything you ever write will eventually be read by your boss, your clients, your patients, your mom, your wife, your girlfriend, your mistress, your co-workers, your butcher, your students, your teachers, your cat, your friends, everybody who has ever hated you and would like to do you harm, the guy sleeping in a puddle of his own urine at the subway stop and anybody else I didn’t think of, because they will. Just count on it, and think about it before you hit the “post” button. Granted, if you actually ask any of those people to read what you wrote, they’ll avoid it at all costs.
Now I’m not saying that this is the way I think it ought to be, because I don’t. I think everybody should be able to remain just as anonymous as they would like to, but wanting it doesn’t make it so. If what you write on the internet is going to cause you any harm once people find out that you wrote it, then consider your choice to publish very carefully. Sometimes it’s worth the risk, but don’t be naive about it. There really is no shortage of political bloggers and there are a lot of other ways to get involved.
Now just to prove what a lazy bastard I am, I’m just going to republish, in full, something I wrote on this subject last November which has a slightly different focus. It’s a bad writer who copies his own work, and I’m nothing if not a bad writer. Just so this makes a little more sense and I don’t have to do any edits, the original title of the post was “When Jane Speaks You Should Listen”
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Jane covers politics, and Pennsylvania politics in particular, in a wonderfully wonkish, detailed and sober manner that is so refreshing and a real credit to political blogs. One need only read one of her weekly legislative roundup’s to get an idea of what Jane adds to the political blogosphere in terms of quality, depth of research and content (here’s the latest). I should also note that Jane has been a great friend to me and to this site over its short existence, something for which I am extremely grateful.
On to the listening bit. I was intrigued by one of Jane’s recent posts in which she discusses social norms and privacy as those terms and concepts apply to the internet generally and the blogosphere specifically. Here’s a little of what she has to say:
We as a society have come to some general understanding of personal space in a public setting. Unless an elevator is crowded we don’t stand close to each other. Smoking is prohibited in many public spaces. We have decided it violates our privacy when our social security numbers are used on everything from student id cards to health insurance cards.
The blogosphere, though, is still sorting through these things. A sense of what is private and what is public blurs in online journals. Where does someone’s virtual smoke end and where does our personal space begin? We’ve all read about people who lost (or found) jobs by virtue of their blogs. Many of us have heard about people who lost friends or significant others because of something written on their blogs. This isn’t really new. I remember Ma telling me never to put anything in print that I wouldn’t want to see in the newspaper the next day. When I was in college the student newspaper ran a photo of an elected student government official nude, from the back. It was taken and published with the man’s permission. Stories circulated about him nearly (or actually) losing a job when someone mailed the photo to his post-college employer.
There is quite a bit more discussion, so be sure to read the whole thing.
This issue is something which has been of interest to me for some time and which I have discussed on any number of occasions with friends who were jumping into the internet or into blogging. My advise to anybody who has a website, or is considering getting one, is to keep the words, actions, thoughts and feelings of private citizens, who haven’t given their explicit consent, as far from the content of your site as is humanly possible. Keep your impressions of the same even further.
The reason for this is simple, and I’ll spell it out in the most direct way possible. People don’t like seeing their shit displayed for the whole world to see all over the internet. People don’t react well to seeing their shit displayed for the whole world to see all over the internet. People who thought well of you yesterday, won’t think so well of you today, if just last night they saw that you were spreading their shit all over the internet.
You may have thought the discussion was benign and the words were kind, but just about everybody who is caught off guard will have a very seriously bad reaction. This I promise. Unless you intend to post anonymously until the end of days, or password protect all of your content, you should keep it in mind as it can have an adverse effect on nearly every aspect of you life.
Since I’ve made jokes about it in the past, I want to be clear that I’m not talking about mentions of me. While I don’t get why my presence at certain events merits mention, it has been mentioned quite a few times over the past year for whatever reason. Not only that, but the condition of my roof deck, the number of stairs leading to my appartment, the fact that I (used to) smoke too much for anybody’s good and even the contents of emails I thought were private have been published for all to see. Here’s the thing; I’m a non-anonymous political blogger (very part-time these days), who is well aware that when he is in the presence of anybody who has the ability to publish anything anywhere, that whatever I do and whatever I say is fair game. I knew that getting in and that was my decision. Any discussion of the poor condition of my roof deck or the poor condition of my lungs by a well read political blogger (no links to be sure) under any other circumstance would have been different to be sure.
Needless to say, one danger for a blog like this one, which relies more heavily on raw emotion, gut reaction and personal experience than it does rational analysis, is crossing the line in a heated moment and disparaging a non-public figure from your own personal life. Referring to the President or to your state representative by disparaging names is quite a bit different than referring to your butcher, cousin or boss in the same way. One is direct, if not polite, political discourse in the best tradition, while the other is something altogether more difficult.
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Maybe a distorted sense of “personal space” that people have collected around their psyches from spending so much time driving cars has transferred itself to blogging on the information superhighway.
On Bill Mahar last month, Ian McClellan pointed out that the space around us inside our car does not belong to us. Because we own the car, we think we own the space inside the car, but we don’t. That space, which feels like personal space, is actually public space, and the way we behave in that public space has a radical impact on the world around us.
I live in LA, so I experience the car culture at its worst. What I have seen, and I’ve seen this in myself as well, is a tendency to behave inside a car as though we are anonymous and our behavior doesn’t count. Many civilized, decent people are unapologetic jerks behind the wheel of a car.
Inside our cars, we are strangers in a world full of strangers with big shiny metal bodies, getting away with as much as we can, naughty children who believe the only wrong thing is getting caught. After a while, this consciousness seeps into the culture and degrades the social contract; it does something to people’s minds and souls, to spend so much time in their cars.
I can’t stand to watch TV car ads, just can’t stand it. Everything that’s wrong with our culture and way of life is epitomized by TV car ads: monstrous, insectoid planet-destroyers wrapped up in glamorous, seductive packages, with an impressive price tag and lots of fine print. In a sane society, TV car ads would be recognized as the true obscenity they are, and be outlawed. It’s just pure unadulterated narcissism, which happens to be a personality disorder that often becomes malignant.
So I guess my point, aside from the fact that I can be at least as boring as Chris (LOL!), is that there’s an attitude that goes along with living in a car culture… an attitude that I see manifesting in certain internet behaviors. Maybe we should start building attitude parking lots. You can park the car, so park the attitude….. HERE.
Bottom line, there’s really no such thing as “anonymity,” unless you’re dead.
What a MAN! What a BABE! What an incredible human being! He can park my car anytime!
The poet Adrienne Rich has said,”everything you write will be used against you.” No doubt, given the growing intrusiveness of the state this is a possibility. Still, something must be said and some of us will continue to take the risks to say them.
so she wrote about breaking up with a fellow and the girl he moved onto next. She didn’t name names or physically describe either one of them and it was all told jokingly. But, her very first comment said, “Oh, I know this is Joe and Jane and you’ve really nailed them.” Outraged phone calls followed and my daughter consulted me with her ethical dilemma — Should she delete the entry?
Well, I asked, what bad things did you say about them? The worst of it was he likes blow jobs and she’s a Christian virgin. Not exactly slanderous, in my opinion. I told her to tell him, “If you don’t like what I wrote on my blog, you’re really gonna hate what I do to you in my novel,” and blow it off. But, she gave into the pressure and deleted the entry.
She now refers to the site as spyspace.
when she started dating her new beau. They do everything in 3D space together. It has been a huge relief for me as mother though……whew! the My Space Wars! Even if the adults that we are are having difficulty processing the real lack of anonymity that exists for us all I think our children are going My Space Miles ahead of us on this.
and uses myspace to maintain communication with 100+ friends, mainly in Atlanta since she moved to AZ for college this year. So I don’t worry about her being the victim of internet predators. Now if she was 15, I probably wouldn’t allow it.
I’ve been using myspace to locate women friends out here in armpit NC and using the blog to publish my short stories. One local woman uses her space to promote her business. So there are many more folks than teenagers taking advantage of the site being free.
Considering your daughter’s age, what a nice thing she did in deleting her entry. If it had been me I would have let that baby fly as is! She is kind.
I’ve been balancing a very public and a private life for 40 years with no problem and mostly pleasure. My experience has been that if I’m respectful of people they’ll return the favor, and if they don’t, I don’t have to make a fuss about it, and that ends that. If I slip up and am disrespectful of somebody and they return that favor, I have only myself to blame.
The older I get the more I realize there is no such thing as “security,” so I don’t worry about losing it.
Chris, I’m so glad you came to our front page. I love your writing and your wit.
This is the balance I’ve been shooting for. I’m not nearly as far along with the public/private balance process as you are, Kansas, but I knew what I was in for when I decided to become a professional writer. That’s one of the reasons I’ve never tried to be an anonymous blogger. I knew from the get-go that the illusion of privacy was unlikely to last, especially if my book sales go anywhere, and I accepted that and post accordingly. Does it make me less likely to say some things on line. Absolutely, but that’s not necessarily a cost. It means that I think carefully about what I post, and that’s good. Now, I just need to learn to always use the spellchecker and triple check for typos.
Yeah, we’re trained by what we do for a living to think about our words before we commit them to publication, so maybe that makes it easier for us to transfer that to this medium, too. Yesterday, for instance, I wrote a furious comment to a diarist, rewrote it, rewrote it again, and again, and then really looked at it. I wouldn’t have put it in one of my books. I would never have screamed it into somebody’s face. I deleted it, and today I can only think, whew, thank god for editors, even the internal ones. I also like the discipline that is imposed on me by the knowledge that all anybody has to do is click on “My Website” to know who I am in RL. I want that person you meet on my website and the person you talk to here to be the same person, though I understand that some people want to be more playful with their personas than that. 🙂 I never was any good at theater, myself, but I appreciate a good show!
was still in a lot of people’s bake pans in the upstairs ovens. Some poor soul wrote a diary dissecting staying or leaving when I was at my worst. I did not attack that diarist or anybody who commented or speculated on his/her diary. I can’t even remember who it was because thankfully I was enough in touch with myself to know that really wasn’t what was important. What was important was that people were dying and other people who weren’t in danger of dying from all the speculating were “speculating” like this many dead people and that many dead people was a good thing so long as “their speculations” worked out. I posted a diary titled Dissect This! Of course I had downloaded a photo of someone giving the finger….it was a really poor photograph really, I could have done much better. I haven’t deleted the diary and I can’t even remember what it said except I think that a few people commented to others that Tracy had had more than her fair share of war stress lately. I leave the photo I downloaded in my photo folder on my computer as a reminder to myself about how raw and emotional I can become in this debate. I still wrestle with how tactless and tasteless the diary probably is on one hand, and then on the other I wrestle with the notion that anybody going through Vietnam Vet Uncles killing themselves and husband’s with PTSD all at the same time could be tasteful and tactful about “planning war successfully” diaries. UGH!
This business of saying exactly what we want to say in exactly the way we want to say it is hard at the best of times, much less when we’re “fraught.” It’s not like we’re born knowing how. Most of us, anyway.
Honestly what strikes me most about that story is that, if I’m reading you right, you were treated with love and understanding (and humor) by other people here who knew what you were going through and so made allowances. That happened because you have never hidden your life from us, and because you had earned the respect you were shown in that instance. IMO.
I’m in perfect agreement with this entire post.
Has saved my tail many times. It’s the voice that reminds me that writing furious means (for me) writing without thinking, and that often leads to bad writing. It means that when I feel strong negative emotions about the contents of a post, I don’t hit send for at least half an hour. The inner editor is my very good friend.
I asked this of Kansas, but I would also appreciate your thoughts.
I was wondering, do you see a difference between your “internal editor” and “self-censorship?”
I have been pondering the concept of “freedom of speech.”
I do see a difference. The inner editor doesn’t prevent me from writing anything. It just makes me make damn sure that I understand the consequences of whatever I write, and that if I choose to write something, I do it to the absolute best of my ability. But that plays into my definition of self-censorship. Results are going to vary a lot. In my case it’s never prevented me from writing something that means something to me. It has prevented me from saying things I know I wouldn’t be proud of later. An example from the publishing side of my life would be that I never throw in graphic sex, violence, or profanity in a gratuitous way, but I have used all of those devices when I felt the story called for them. Because I’ve been very careful about that, I’ve never had an editor tell me to take anything like that out, and if an editor did ask me to do so, I would be in a good position to defend my usage.
Nice question BTW.
I was wondering, do you see a difference between your “internal editor” and “self-censorship?”
I have been pondering the concept of “freedom of speech.”
I’m thinking. Check back later. 🙂
Do you? (I’m not going to read what you write about it until I figure out what I think.)
I asked you first! 😉
I don’t know. I will have to think about it too.
Kansas, I am responding here so the sequence of my comments is in order.
The distinction is still somewhat fuzzy, but I do see a difference. “Editing” I think of as part of the process of saying what I want to say with the goal of being understood. I don’t question what I want to communicate, but rather how I want to say it.
“Censoring” is more about analyzing what I want to say and questioning the value of saying it. Intention and potential consequences are two criteria for examining value, at least they are the ones that come to mind at the moment.
Done through thinkin’. Wish I had more to show for it!
All I can come up with is how those words/phrases feel in my body when I think them.
For self-censorship, I get a feeling of fear, which I take to suggest that I self-censor if I’m afraid of saying something out loud, or writing it, that seems true to me.
For self-editing, there’s only a neutral or positive feeling, like how I feel when I’m going back over a rough draft and making it read better.
Now I’ll go back and see if any of this relates at all to what you guys have said about it.
I find it fascinating how personal definitions are. Thanks for taking the time to think on this and respond.
I wonder if some of the discussions here at BT that have gotten so heated may have done so, in part, because the words chosen which we think are commonly understood, have such personal definitions.
It was interesting to think about. Thanks, tampoco.
Yeah, who could be so lame as to simply use their name as a . . . oh.
Nevermind.
lol! I would also have told you that I love having you on the front page, too, Stephen, but Chris is better than you are at begging for reassurance.
I’m really not trying to beg or fish, but thanks for the reassurance all the same. It’s just my way. I’m just the same in person. I’ve always been self deprecating.
It’s one of your charms.
calvin was impressed with Chris’ thinking on the subject. In fact, calvin suspects that, secretly, Chris is a cat. Cats like to lie in the sun and do all sorts of things. But, they also have a very private life. calvin doesn’t mind at all if you invade his space when he is in the sun, but don’t interfere when he’s on the hunt. calvin scratches. And, bites.
calvin is beginning to suspect that there are a lot of cat bloggers.
thing last year when I posted my Uncle’s obituary after his suicide and when I went to Crawford. In theory I could be harming my husband’s military career, but if I am then they are still grading using your spouse and I’m a civilian and I will sue the ever loving Jesus out of them for it. I signed nothing, NOTHING, NOTHING, promising any sort of allegiance to the military and whatever dogma they are serving up for the month based on whatever propaganda and spinning the administration is serving this month (I would use the word policy but this administration honestly has no policy……it has no honestly even!) It does make a difference in my life though, who I am and what I have done…..like really high up officers wives FLEE from me! They take off running at the sight of me and a little flame shoots out their fannies rocketing them along. They wouldn’t say two words to me if their eyeballs were rolling around in their heads and those words were heimlich please. It’s sort of nice though because I don’t have to pretend to like anybody anymore or agree with someone because I fear what would happen to my husband if I didn’t…..I already know now and they already know now……add to that that I can’t imagine who in the spouse department (even the higher echelon officer spouse) is really enjoying this Iraq bullshit and I don’t even think that there are many who dislike me for being me and doing what I have done, they just have fear of some unknown monster that could eat them up if anybody knew anything about them right now. I do believe that they have no interest in going where I have gone though but are also comforted knowing that there are people who are expressing their grief and hurt and anger about being a military spouse in the public arena for the entire nation to know about if they wanted to.
You have been fearless, which is not at all the same thing as saying you don’t have any fear! I love what you just wrote. You’re really living out the proof of the freedom that lies in NOT living anonymously. (I just want to go around patting you on the back all the time and exclaiming, “Wow. Good job!”)
In truth though I’m just a really lousy martyr. Ouch That Hurts! This Is Killing Me! Are You Kidding Me? Thanks George, But I Really Don’t Want A FLAG In Place Of A Husband For This Shit Baby!
Oh, god, the world could soooo use more lousy martrys!!
That is the funniest line ever.
All of us are risking something here. Even the guy who sits silently in the crowd can find that their image has been blasted across the airwaves, or published in the paper, and if his boss sees it and he happened to have told his boss he was home with the swine flu that day, well we’ve all seen that Seinfeld.
Once you jump on stage and actually start getting the crowd to listen to you, you have basically just volunteered to take on added responsibility and accountability. If you tell the crowd to riot and they follow your direction, then you can be held accountable for inciting a riot. If you direct the crowd to drink poison kool-aid and they drink it, you will be charged with murder.
Even if all you do while you’re up there is to successfully lead the crowd in singing a rousing rendition of “Oklahoma”, you have still voluntarily taken upon yourself added scrutiny.
People in the crowd will start going, “Who is this bastard?”, and if there’s a reporter & photographer in the crowd who thinks your particular version of Oklahoma warrants a story, then you will awaken in the mornng to find yourself, your fringey shirt and your name published for all the world to see.
And if it turns out that your employer flies into a rage whenever he happens to hear any mention of The Surry With The Fringe On Top and fires your ass, well then as they say, “dems da breaks”.
I found your particular tale upthread to be very inspiring.
You looked at the risks and the consquences and you took a very courageous step in deciding that being you was more important than being who people wanted you to be.
Being yourself in this day and age does take courage.
Some may find it easier to just go with the flow, try and keep up with the small talk and blend in, but I bet you anything those same people have a tendency to avoid looking at themselves in the mirror. That’s why they resent you so. They know that you can look yourself in the mirror proudly and that scares them.
Good for you. Consider yourself a valiant soldier fighting bravely in the long war against the Stepfords.
I live in Philadelphia after all, and the average internet freak show probably has nothing on the guy taking a leak on my neighbor’s stoop.
Really that poor guy will never know his full potential for antisocial behavior without cable modem. 🙁
I agree that there are no guarantees for any of us that we won’t be outed. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t some benefit to having a custom that says you don’t out people, and if you do, there will be significant disapproval from the rest of the blogosphere. Because yeah, we all take a chance, but it makes a difference whether it is a 1% chance (because only a true asshole would do it) or a 50% chance (because it isn’t considered to be a big deal, so the first person who gets mad at what you say will feel free).
The fact is that most people use a pseudonym, because we don’t want everyone who googles our name to read everything we’ve ever written on blogs. Yeah, they could find out if the really wanted to – but the casual googler isn’t going to that much effort. Most of us prefer to keep a lower profile. I guess you can say (and several here have said) that people who operate this way are chicken shit, and not worth listening to. If that is the consensus I am glad to know it now. Is it?
Man, I hope not. I sure didn’t read anything here as saying that. Speaking only for myself, and in spite of the fact that I’m not anonymous, I have absolutely no problem with anonymity, and I don’t even care if people make up entire personas to play with. That frees some people to tell more truth, not less. If what they write here seems true and genuine to me, I don’t care if they write it under the name Marie Antoinette or even if they think they are Marie Antoinette. If they’re later outed as actually being a French peasant, well, I’ll deal with that cognitive dissonance when I get to it. 🙂
I don’t think that people who operate that way are chicken shit, by any means, and I hope I didn’t give that impression. Whatever you’re comfortable with is fine by me. I certainly don’t want to see a chilling of the debate or a cooling of passions, but I think that everybody should go into this with their eyes wide open. I’m sure nobody really needs me to tell them that, but a remider never hurts.
Glad you did, that way I don’t have to write it! lol
Seriously though, I have come to believe that anonimity is overrated in the scheme of things. I also xpost at emp under my real name. And, since I started doing so, I have noticed that it feels great.
I remember a discussion that I had w/an aquaintance re: blogging. The gist of it was keeping my name confidential–my response to that was “I don’t care–I am not ashamed of it.”
And, in the past, I have written so much information about myself that just about everyone in this town who knows me knows who Street Kid is and the story behind the name.
Here is the story if anyone missed it: I am originally from the NE side of Detroit and when I was in grad school, I lived in SW Detroit. Both are fairly rough parts of town, now. NE used to be a working class area. (Hey, SW Detroit was CHEAP for a grad student.) Anyway, a buddy of mine (from a similar part of Flint) and I were bsing once and he said, “We’re both a couple of damn street kids.” Actually tried to sign up under my first name when I originally signed up at the orange place, but at the time, Terri was taken. I couldn’t think of anything else to use and used that one instead!
Having had an issue with this sort of thing, maybe I should toss my hat into the ring.
I did some blogging about an ex-boyfriend. I mentioned no names and I didn’t write anything particularly nasty or even revealing. In the back of my mind, I always wrote with the understanding that one day he’d find my blog. Of course, as with all stories, there needs to be a climax. In this story, he did find my blog. I didn’t anticipate the level of his anger and honestly, I still think it was an overreaction. I guess the point, and I think Chris made it pretty well, is that you can write what you wish and your intentions can be as good as possible, but you can’t control the way another person is going to read and interpret your words.
This whole thing happened about 7 months ago and we haven’t spoken since. At the time, I’ll be honest, I was sort of upset. Not sure why, he wasn’t much of a friend anyway. But since I’d never intended to hurt him, I felt bad about how things played out.
In retrospect, my regrets are few. The friendship, if you could even call it that, is over and he’s completely out of my life. For that I’m actually pretty happy.
I don’t know if I’d do anything differently except for one thing; I’d try to better predict the eventual reaction of my subjects. If you understand what you might be getting yourself into and are willing to deal with the consequences, non anonymous blogging, even with real people as an occasional subject, can be pretty stinking cathartic.