Regarding the recent suicides at Guantanamo, camp commander Rear Admiral Harry Harris said, “I believe this was not an act of desperation, rather an act of asymmetric warfare waged against us.”

Hey, maybe Admiral Harris has hit on the ultimate strategy to win the war on terror: convince them all that the best way to defeat America is to commit suicide.  It’s brilliant!  Sun Tzu would approve wholeheartedly.

Under the fold: die hard or die harder…

And what the heck, the suicide strategy makes a whole lot more sense than this “stand up, stand down” drivel we’ve been fed lately.  

The suicide strategy would give the administration and Pentagon spin doctors something they could really sink their teeth into.  Forget trying to sell the war to Americans, or blaming every failure in the war on Democrats and the media.  Launch a massive, multi-pronged psychological operations campaign aimed at convincing the bad guys to do themselves in.  

Such a campaign should follow, at the very least, three distinct lines of operation:

Incentive: “Double Virgin Days” would offer twice the virgins in afterlife to young Jihadists for reporting to U.S. controlled “martyrdom centers.”  At the centers, prospective martyrs would be offered a wide variety of suicide options, everything from self-immolation to “Allah’s little helper” pills.

“Don’t delay!  This is a limited time offer.”

Shame: “Suicide now and avoid the draft.”  

Don’t embarrass your family and friends by being one of those losers who had to be ordered to take your own life.  Do the manly thing and volunteer.  

Radio Free Islam would run constant spots of Ann Coulter saying “There are two kinds of radical Islamists: suicides and cowards.”  

Depression: “You’re a rag head, your life sucks anyway.”  

Run spots on Arab television of Rush Limbaugh playing golf, lighting $50 cigars with $100 bills and saying, “The only way you’ll ever live like me is by being dead.”  

If this suicide strategy sounds ludicrous to you, you haven’t been paying attention to everything else that’s been going on since we launched our woebegone war on terror.  


Commander Jeff Huber, U.S. Navy (Retired) writes from Virginia Beach, Virginia.  Read his weekday commentaries at ePluribus Media and Pen and Sword.

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