Oh I feel allright honey. I have a pain under my ribcage that wont go away but you know what? I think I m going to be more afraid when it stops hurting. for now the pain is my friend, sitting right here beside me.
mother it will be ok. you know that right? everything will be ok?
i know.
mom did you ever hear of a poet named anne sexton? she was popular back in your day i think?
oh yes. killed herself. she was a nymphomaniac according to killy kelly.
did you ever read her poetry mom?
no dear.
did you ever feel like killing yourself mom?
hundreds of times. you know your father. felt like killing him a few times, too.(laughter)
remember when you got divorced that time and then a week later you turned up pregnant? how old were you then?
I remember the night i miscarried and almost died in the operating room. too much blood lost. i was anemic. i wonder how life would have been different if i had that baby?
was it dads?
no.
mom can we be completely honest with each other for the remaining…
i have always been honest with you dear. it was your father who taught you how to lie.
oh come on mom. you told me plenty of lies. you lied about the baby.
I lied to the doctor but not you.
but you didnt tell me the truth.
what truth?
that the baby wasnt dads you never told me until right now.
and so now you know the truth?
yes mom.
i have always been honest with you dear. honestly?
we all know the truth about everything instantly.
well before we are capable of the words in our minds.
words are the smallest specks of dirt.
a hair in your mouth.
little monsters with lives of their own.
lives that will outlive yours if you are not careful.
if you dont know that by now then you dont know very much about honesty yourself mister.
and thats your fathers fault.
(laughter, coughing)
