Having just been through a small “melt down” of my own yesterday, this is on my mind this morning, so will shoot off a few random thoughts on the topic to invite discussion.
I’m defining “melt-downs” as those times when I become emotionally entangled with an issue or a topic or other posters, and lose my cool, along with my good judgement and objectivity. My feelings then can take charge of my fingers, because I forget to “pause for the cool down cycle” , (like a clothes dryer on perma press setting) BEFORE posting.
First, it never ceases to amaze me that I can know perfectly well how to prevent my own melt downs, yet every now and then, I forget all I know!
I suspect this is because am still a fallible human being, and I shall never totally overcome this one till I croak and fall right off this chair.
And because right now, there is more happening, globally, to CAUSE pressure that leads to melt downs, happening all around us than I can ever remember in my lifetime.
What I see today, is a greater need that ever, for me to offer myself, and everyione else as well, a much larger helping of empathy and compassion than I have so far.
These are terribly difficult times to be a citizen of this country. Terribly, horrible difficult, for me personally. And it is hard to even write that, when I know that in other lands, people just like me are suffering so much MORE horribly that I have ever had to suffer. I almost feel like I have no right to even talk about how hard it is for “me”.
But keeping silent doesn’t help me deal with the horrendous anguish and rage inside. And because it has no where to go, it can easily spill over on those closest to me, and I don’t want that, either.
So I guess the only thing I can do is work harder at maintaining my own essential internal “balance”. Monitor myself more closely and make sure I am not spending too much time in front of this screen or the TV, and that I am feeding the best parts of who I really am with face to face contact with those I can share direct sustenance with as often as we all need.
And I can also better utilize my “trusted others” who, when the pressures need to erupt up and out, can handle it, knowing it is what I need to do in that moment.
Because the very LAST thing I want to ever do, is add to the pain levels, or the levels of free floating rage and fear that are taking this world so close to the edge of the abyss.
Boo, my reaction to your posting the other day was emotionally driven and I apologise for the harshness of it. I know what you said came from your own anguish and rage, which is no less than mine. I still have ocncerns over the choice of language used, but you didn’t deserve the harshness of my response.
(note: as for anything I write for the near future, this goes up unedited due to temporary vision limitations soon to be resolved!) (Hey, at last I have an excuse for being a rotten typist!)
Heading out for some more “refueling” with a friend, will check back in later.
All of us who care about the state of the world are in a turmoil of pain, shame and indignation that is often laced with feelings of futility.
We know it’s pointless to engage the right-wingers whose world view is informed by punishment and control. The only folks WORTH yelling at are those who are kinda on our side, or at least share the same goals, but with different ideas of how to accomplish them.
There is bound to be a lot of of passionate idealisms and equally passionate pragmatisms all banging heads, but I don’t know another way to do it. Maybe the best we can do is attack each others’ ideas mercilessly while we love one another limitlessly.
(Please feel free to knock the crap out of this idea.)
…and the grammar; please kick the shit out of the grammar…
“There ARE bound to be….”
“Maybe the best we can do is attack each others’ ideas mercilessly while we love one another limitlessly.”
That line is…simply priceless, Susan. Thank you for it.
Praise from you is such a rush !
Thank you, scribe. Your writing stands alone, but it also inspires others. You have a great talent for opening issues to deeper examination.
Wow. I’ve spent alot of time trying to anticipate as well as accommodate my son’s “melt downs” that arise. (he’s autistic as most know and he’s dealing with some issues, mostly lonlieness and stress)… I try to be able to catch it before it’s full blown melt down. I have to be almost pyschic. It’s tiring and not an exact “science”.
But you know.. I think the same could be said for me and others here. We need to look for the tell tale signs within ourselves and ANTICIPATE and ACCOMMODATE for them. We need to take care of ourselves while allowing some leeway for others.
TV: … ACK. I just use mine for DVDs and hockey games. I can’t stomach the news on any level. Not that I can’t bare the reality of this war.. but because my countries news… is complicit in the murder and death and dumbing down of this country.
Getting outside more. And not just for protests. 🙂 Cripes now my kids thing the term “going out” doesn’t mean dating or just going to pick up orange juice… “Going Out” means protests. That’s not right, I think. Still looking around my new digs and figuring out where everthing is and there’s SO much! Upick berry famrs as well as malls. Suburbian slash country life right next to a Metro area. Perfect for me 🙂 Also, I’ve been looking for a PT job, one that I can feel good about going to.
It’s all a balanicing act. And I’m so glad you are “going out” more. But I still find myself slamming myself right back into the politics of so much. Everything makes me think of dying children or the apathy of so many. I find myself getting very snarky while out and about. Little things will set me off. ACK. I have to work on that. And it’s so freaking hard.
For us though one way of balancing is sharing in one anothers passion. Be it movie night with my son, cooking “classes” in our own kitchen or art projects with Danni, going to Wayne’s hockey games of marching together as a family… and my family is very supportive of my activism. But I have to find something for “me” to balance myself out. I’ve been thinking more and more lately out art, thanks to Boran2.
Anyways I’m rambling… sorry. Thanks for this diary I would love to read how others balance out their lives, family and activism… and sanity 🙂
Yep, balance is the key I suspect. It’s hard when you’re a mother, and doubly hard when you’re an activist too. Keep up the good work, DJ.
Knowng our own early signs of stress buildup
Accomondate them by increasing self care strategies
Have more fun
Share each others passions
Find creative outlets…I think you’ve about covered it here. Janet! Nice job.
Maybe add decent rest and food and exercise…
.
I tried to comment yesterday with a measured response. I checked through some of your latest posts, just to see what had upset you. I found your dedication and emotional close tie to many topics discussed. I understood you reacted from the moment you read the unusual opening of BooMan’s diary.
My advantage is I hate to ‘chat’ on the Internet with a quick response, so there is always a time lapse to think my comment through before hitting the reply button. Some heated arguments, I just leave it alone for ten minutes before returning.
We all have different personalities, but consider most fellow bloggers as ‘friendly’ and some as dear friends.
(((scribe)))
I liked the end to one of your comments:
“I am off to consult with the squirrels.”
… the joy found in nature gives balance in one’s being.
"But I will not let myself be reduced to silence."
▼ ▼ ▼ MY DIARY
The squirrels simply delight me. No way can I watch their antics hang onto dark or angry thoughts. Thanks, ((Oui))
“May you live in interesting times”, or just something that a Bobby Kennedy speech writer came up with, I think we’re there and sometimes it is every bit a curse.
My husband and I were discussing all the natural disasters that global warming could spawn. I have long kept track of those things and also the volcano under Yellowstone because I did live in Wyoming and if it ever did blow I was going to be gone in 60 seconds. Anywhoo, we were discussing how where we are in Alabama be are buffered from Tsunami and Hurricanes and the drought that global warming will bring will only lower the humidity in the South. If the volcano blows we probably have enough time to high tail it South to Mexico…..and then my son in the backseat hollers to the front, “We can’t go to Mexico, I don’t know Spanish!”
“Interesting times” for sure, Tracy. Times that are challenging every one of us so many ways: some that draw us together, and some that force us apart. In as much as it is possible for each to do, I think staying together, in spite of differences, and the hard work it can be sometimes, usually results in everyone expanding, somehow. Just as sometimes, moving on is what we need to do to keep growing forward. It’s all just one hell of an adventure, isn’t it?!
Honestly, being one who is “blessed” with a hair-trigger Irish temper (there, I’ve finally blamed a grandparent for something besides clogged arteries!), I’m not sure that sanity is achieveable. At least not in today’s world. I have to go back to more primitive times (e.g. camping or gardening) to really get settled down, or escape (e.g. reading).
I do find for myself, that a good metaphor for much of life is white-water canoeing. If you aren’t paddling faster than the water is moving, you have no control. It’s impossible to always paddle that fast, so you are going to hit rocks and go through rapids that are a class or two beyond your known skill. You just hang on and try not to capsize.
And there’s a certain grace in how well you take being through into the water. . .