Oh lordy, am I in trouble. And it’s all President Bush’s fault.
Remember how so many moaned and groaned that Bill Clinton set a very bad example for the children of our country with his Monica Lewinsky affair? That American parents were left to explain very delicate matters?
Well, President Bush has gone a step further than Clinton and it is destroying the peace and tranquility of my domicile. So much so that even Dr. Phil refused to have us on his show. He said even he could not help resolve such a quagmire.
Just what is the problem?
Signing statements.
Yep, those pesky little addendums that President Bush has attached to 700 or so pieces of legislation passed by Congress.
Rather than take a stand and disagree with the legislation by vetoing it, President Bush has decided he may or may not follow the law, depending on the mood he is in at the moment.
Inspired by this, my wife has attached a signing statement to our marriage certificate and decides each morning about those ‘love and honor’ and ‘in sickness and in health’ sections of our vows.
My children have now also gotten into the act. Given a list of chores that earn them an allowance, they have exercised the new-found option of crossing out certain tasks. When I say that this isn’t an option, they reply that they are only following the example of the leader of our country.
Even our dog has gotten into the act. He no longer sits and rolls over on command but only when he chooses to do so. Yikes, my dog has become a cat!
The bad news is that I expect this to only get worse. The good news, if this qualifies as such, is that FOX has contacted us about doing a reality show.
Help.
Very good – thanks.
I wonder if I can do this at work…hmm.
Thanks for the laugh! I was expecting something like a “I want to move to Canada and she likes it just fine here” diary.
I’ll have to look carefully thought the stack of old bills to see if we’ve gotten a signing statement from Mrs. K.P.’s dog. We have two dogs, a Jack Russell terrier (hers) and a Great Pyrenees – ??? mix (mine – Sam, who diaried here once for Friday Nite Jazz Jam, as folks who have been around the pond awhile may remember, LOL).
Sam is very easy-going (like his owner), and is OK with the basic concept “they walk me, I poop, they feed me when we get back in the house.” Mrs. K.P.’s dog was OK with this for some time, but recently has taken to not pooping on her walks if I am the one walking her, and pooping on the rug when she gets back inside. She does it right where Mrs. K.P. does her yoga (heh heh heh).
Apparently she has issued a signing statement to her housetraining certification that it only is valid if she is walked by Mrs. K.P., not me.
Our dog has become a Republican. The shame…
You have my sympathies, entirely. What a devastaing development. So far, I have avoided the trickle-down effects in my own household, I think. But the lists I make are usually outright vetoed, no signing statements necessary, so I may be in worse shape than you…