Oh lordy, am I in trouble. And it’s all President Bush’s fault.

Remember how so many moaned and groaned that Bill Clinton set a very bad example for the children of our country with his Monica Lewinsky affair? That American parents were left to explain very delicate matters?

Well, President Bush has gone a step further than Clinton and it is destroying the peace and tranquility of my domicile. So much so that even Dr. Phil refused to have us on his show. He said even he could not help resolve such a quagmire.

Just what is the problem?
Signing statements.

Yep, those pesky little addendums that President Bush has attached to 700 or so pieces of legislation passed by Congress.

Rather than take a stand and disagree with the legislation by vetoing it, President Bush has decided he may or may not follow the law, depending on the mood he is in at the moment.

Inspired by this, my wife has attached a signing statement to our marriage certificate and decides each morning about those ‘love and honor’ and ‘in sickness and in health’ sections of our vows.

My children have now also gotten into the act. Given a list of chores that earn them an allowance, they have exercised the new-found option of crossing out certain tasks. When I say that this isn’t an option, they reply that they are only following the example of the leader of our country.

Even our dog has gotten into the act. He no longer sits and rolls over on command but only when he chooses to do so. Yikes, my dog has become a cat!

The bad news is that I expect this to only get worse. The good news, if this qualifies as such, is that FOX has contacted us about doing a reality show.

Help.

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