Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly.
He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
Exactly who needs to feel better? Maybe a little projection?
My professional advice: Stay away from the vegetable section of the grocery. And the petting zoo.
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of Wimbledon, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t.”
He stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged “need”. “I guess I was just really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
“It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure.” said officer Taylor. “I walked up to (Davidson) and he’s…just working away at this pumpkin.”
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. “I just went up and said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?’ He got real surprised as you’d expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, “A pumpkin? Damn … is it midnight already?”
I see nothing. No words no image, no nothing. I’m imagining what all the things could be that will make me feel better!!!
[space here taken for time spent shaking my head]
Exactly who needs to feel better? Maybe a little projection?
My professional advice: Stay away from the vegetable section of the grocery. And the petting zoo.
I plan on staying away from Roman taxi cabs.
I will never look at a pumpkin in the same way again! But you know, cucumbers are much more MY thing!
I was dying the first time I saw that. Especially the part about how the brother’s wife’s wool panties reminded him of the sheep…too funny.
kept coming around and making eyes at him was really funny!
Yo Boo!
I don’t want to feel better on a day like today! Shit MAN, don’t even try it. It’s over, the democracy’s over.
I only have dial-up, I never look at this video shit, and I don’t care.
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of Wimbledon, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.
The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t.”
He stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged “need”. “I guess I was just really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
“It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure.” said officer Taylor. “I walked up to (Davidson) and he’s…just working away at this pumpkin.”
Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. “I just went up and said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?’ He got real surprised as you’d expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, “A pumpkin? Damn … is it midnight already?”
The saying, as I heard it is:
For children, a woman;
for pleasure, a boy;
but for ecstasy, a melon.
In the interest of world peace, I won’t name the nationality to which this was attributed.
As Mr. Davidson probably knew, pumpkins and melons share membership in the family Cucurbitaceae. Quite close, really.
or…whirled peas???
Just asking
Kinky.