I am sick of sicko’s using The Alcohol Excuse and how many of us accept that. I have suffered tremendously at the hand of The Alcohol Excuse. Because of alcohol and blackouts and denial many ‘victims’ become the target yet again.
Because I was married to an alcoholic I am now maligned as the co-dependent enabler witchy bitch. Because I dared call the cops when my husband beat me, threatened my life or if he was driving drunk and he had to spend 4 months in jail for a second DUI, his family rescued him from me and protect him from me. I am the wrong one. When he is sober he seemed like such a nice guy…
He deserted all his responsibilities to escape ‘his conscious’ -me. The anger inside me is incredible because of the lack of justice as Bob Johnson’s diary The Foley Case.. so eloquently points out. Justice is needed before forgiveness.
My husband’s family has no knowledge of his actions against me, or of his perverted behaviour he practiced while drunk- like going out in public with a butt-plug while bingeing on viagara so he could get his thrills ‘talking up’ (his words) un-suspecting women etc., his porn addiction, masturbating while watching sports- talk about me being grossed out and stunned at some of this drunken behaviour. Cops would arrest him for being passed out in his ‘parked’ car and then tell me was a perfect gentleman, and I’d yell at the cops for not keeping him over night and how bad he treated me at home when he was drunk. The good-old boys-club thing I guess. The cop would then tell me there was a full bottle of liquor still in the car. Why didn’t the cops confiscate that?
Because he suffered the convenient blackouts and tremors he has little if no memory of the horrendous things he did, that I suffered and witnessed, and all I have left is the anger. All I want from him is a remorseful apology and acknowledgement of the pain he caused so that I can move on. I’ll never get it- the justice part, so I have to deal with getting over the anger some how and hopefully be able to forgive him someday.
I bring this up because I noticed how angry Bob Johnson still sounded, years after his bad experience, which fortunately did not even get to the ‘rape’ part. It made me imagine all the pain of all of us who have suffered from someone else’s sickness who never paid the price for their hellish actions. And how The Alcohol Excuse conveniently ‘hides’ the atrocities that those who practice bad behaviour seems acceptable to many. Just go into rehab and the perp is ‘forgiven’ by society. Somehow compassion is being mis-directed in so many cases.
Until The Alcohol Excuse is no longer acceptable by our society these outrages will never cease. I mean, look at how even Bush, an alcoholic, has been accepted as a president. Maybe alcohol IS the bigger issue here. Maybe pedophiles would not exist without it..Ya think? Why is there not more outrage at Foley from the other side? Do you think the same people who own and operate re-habs (or big-wig hideouts) are the same people who run NAMBLA and congress and churches…
Sorry for the ramblings, but after reading Bob Johnson’s diary and feeling his anger it just re-triggered mine.
Alcoholism is an ugly affliction and a handy excuse. Why is it that so often the victim is expected to ‘understand’? Doesn’t that feed into an alcoholic’s denial? As for the deafening silence on the other side on Foley, that speaks volumes for me. Blaming these incidents on alcohol is the same as blaming the victim: misplaced. Blame the perpetrator and those who allowed it go on for YEARS. Yesterday I read Real History Lisa’s diary on Republican pedophilia and I was blown away. No wonder they don’t give a shit about the Constitution. Not only will the Bush era forever be a time of shame and horror for America, the Republican party itself has morphed into a slobbering, knuckle dragging monster made up of torturers, pedophiles and liars.
It’s good to hear from you, friend. I hope you are well. You keep given ’em hell, Rosee… the only reason for forgiveness at this point is for your own sanity.
Yeah, I’m hanging in there but dealing with PTS of the trauma and all the financial ruin and doing my best to redirect the anger energy into healthier avenues- also another reason I’ve stayed away from politics and Bush stuff.. I don’t want to go to jail LOL!
Take care of yourself and get centered. There’s plenty of time for you to get active. Hey, when we take back the country we’ll need good people like you to keep the democrats in line!
in recovery and really working the AA programone of the first things I had to do was accept my part in the awful things I had done as a drunk and then make amends for them. Talk about humbling but oh so cleansing too.
I do not belive in the Alcohol excuse but the courts sure love it. They even make people go to AA meetings.
Good to see you Rosie. Just wish it were under different circumstances.Is he still living with you?
since March. I like the ‘peace’ now so much better than the false alcoholic love.
People like yourself gave me great hope that he could overcome this- the worse disease on the planet in my view. But he is still in denial and accuses me of making everything up. And he was sober for a year before he left, but things just got worse, which I still don’t understand. The conclusion I came up with is he did not choose sobriety- the courts and jail forced it on him and he resents that and me to his core.
He is now living with his alcoholic brother so I can only assume that he is drinking again. My anger is that his family believes his lies and have no knowledge of what he did to me. I’ve been so tempted to send all the police reports etc., but don’t cause what’s the point?
Any how, I consider you a friend and many inspirational people I listen too were once alcoholics- Dr Wayne Dyer, Neale Donald Walsch.. so I do know there’s great hope out there.
I’m just tired of people like Foley hiding behind the Alcohol Excuse for their bad out rageous behaviour. There are no excuses for bad actions.
I’m so glad your life has become more peaceful. (BTW, I was thinking of you and wondering how you were when I was kayaking in the Outer Banks this summer. Did you go this year?)
my grandson got to go:-)
He’s adorable!
Enjoy the peace Rosie. God knows you deserve it. I agree that most that are court ordered stay in denial. I have seen it at many a meeting.
Move on now girlfriend and be well. Lots of love to you.
Ditto what Leezy’s said.
“Alcohol, Violence, and Aggression
Scientists and nonscientists alike have long recognized a two-way association between alcohol consumption and violent or aggressive behavior (1). Not only may alcohol consumption promote aggressiveness, but victimization may lead to excessive alcohol consumption. Violence may be defined as behavior that intentionally inflicts, or attempts to inflict, physical harm. Violence falls within the broader category of aggression, which also includes behaviors that are threatening, hostile, or damaging in a nonphysical way (2). This Alcohol Alert explores the association between alcohol consumption, violence, and aggression and the role of the brain in regulating these behaviors. Understanding the nature of these associations is essential to breaking the cycle of alcohol misuse and violence.
Extent of the Alcohol-Violence Association
Based on published studies, Roizen (3) summarized the percentages of violent offenders who were drinking at the time of the offense as follows: up to 86 percent of homicide offenders, 37 percent of assault offenders, 60 percent of sexual offenders, up to 57 percent of men and 27 percent of women involved in marital violence, and 13 percent of child abusers. These figures are the upper limits of a wide range of estimates. In a community-based study, Pernanen (4) found that 42 percent of violent crimes reported to the police involved alcohol, although 51 percent of the victims interviewed believed that their assailants had been drinking.
Alcohol-Violence Relationships
Several models have been proposed to explain the complex relationships between violence or aggression and alcohol consumption. To avoid exposing human or animal subjects to potentially serious injury, research results discussed below are largely based on experiments on nonphysical aggression. Other studies involving humans are based on epidemiological surveys or data obtained from archival or official sources.
Alcohol Misuse Preceding Violence
Direct Effects of Alcohol. Alcohol may encourage aggression or violence by disrupting normal brain function. According to the disinhibition hypothesis, for example, alcohol weakens brain mechanisms that normally restrain impulsive behaviors, including inappropriate aggression (5). By impairing information processing, alcohol can also lead a person to misjudge social cues, thereby overreacting to a perceived threat (6). Simultaneously, a narrowing of attention may lead to an inaccurate assessment of the future risks of acting on an immediate violent impulse (7).
Many researchers have explored the relationship of alcohol to aggression using variations of an experimental approach developed more than 35 years ago (8,9). In a typical example, a subject administers electric shocks or other painful stimuli to an unseen “opponent,” ostensibly as part of a competitive task involving learning and reaction time. Unknown to the subject, the reactions of the nonexistent opponent are simulated by a computer. Subjects perform both while sober and after consuming alcohol. In many studies, subjects exhibited increased aggressiveness (e.g., by administering stronger shocks) in proportion to increasing alcohol consumption (10).
These findings suggest that alcohol may facilitate aggressive behavior. However, subjects rarely increased their aggression unless they felt threatened or provoked. Moreover, neither intoxicated nor sober participants administered painful stimuli when nonaggressive means of communication (e.g., a signal lamp) were also available (5,9).
These results are consistent with the real-world observation that intoxication alone does not cause violence (4). The following subsections explore some mechanisms whereby alcohol’s direct effects may interact with other factors to influence the expression of aggression.
Social and Cultural Expectancies. Alcohol consumption may promote aggression because people expect it to (5). For example, research using real and mock alcoholic beverages shows that people who believe they have consumed alcohol begin to act more aggressively, regardless of which beverage they actually consumed (10). Alcohol-related expectancies that promote male aggressiveness, combined with the widespread perception of intoxicated women as sexually receptive and less able to defend themselves, could account for the association between drinking and date rape (11).
In addition, a person who intends to engage in a violent act may drink to bolster his or her courage or in hopes of evading punishment or censure (12,13). The motive of drinking to avoid censure is encouraged by the popular view of intoxication as a “time-out,” during which one is not subject to the same rules of conduct as when sober (14,15).
Violence Preceding Alcohol Misuse
Childhood Victimization. A history of childhood sexual abuse (16) or neglect (17) is more likely among women with alcohol problems than among women without alcohol problems. Widom and colleagues (17) found no relationship between childhood victimization and subsequent alcohol misuse in men. Even children who only witness family violence may learn to imitate the roles of aggressors or victims, setting the stage for alcohol abuse and violence to persist over generations (18). Finally, obstetric complications that damage the nervous system at birth, combined with subsequent parental neglect such as might occur in an alcoholic family, may predispose one to violence, crime, and other behavioral problems by age 18 (19,20).
Violent Lifestyles. Violence may precede alcohol misuse in offenders as well as victims. For example, violent people may be more likely than nonviolent people to select or encounter social situations and subcultures that encourage heavy drinking (21). In summary, violence may contribute to alcohol consumption, which in turn may perpetuate violence.
Common Causes for Alcohol Misuse and Violence
In many cases, abuse of alcohol and a propensity to violence may stem from a common cause (22). This cause may be a temperamental trait, such as a risk-seeking personality, or a social environment (e.g., delinquent peers or lack of parental supervision) that encourages or contributes to deviant behavior (21).
Another example of a common cause relates to the frequent co-occurrence of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and early-onset (i.e., type II) alcoholism (23). ASPD is a psychiatric disorder characterized by a disregard for the rights of others, often manifested as a violent or criminal lifestyle. Type II alcoholism is characterized by high heritability from father to son; early onset of alcoholism (often during adolescence); and antisocial, sometimes violent, behavioral traits (24). Type II alcoholics and persons with ASPD overlap in their tendency to violence and excessive alcohol consumption and may share a genetic basis (23).
Spurious Associations
Spurious associations between alcohol consumption and violence may arise by chance or coincidence, with no direct or common cause. For example, drinking is a common social activity for many adult Americans, especially those most likely to commit violent acts. Therefore, drinking and violence may occur together by chance (5). In addition, violent criminals who drink heavily are more likely than less intoxicated offenders to be caught and consequently are overrepresented in samples of convicts or arrestees (7). Spurious associations may sometimes be difficult to distinguish from common-cause associations.
Physiology of Violence
Although individual behavior is shaped in part by the environment, it is also influenced by biological factors (e.g., hormones) and ultimately planned and directed by the brain. Individual differences in brain chemistry may explain the observation that excessive alcohol consumption may consistently promote aggression in some persons, but not in others (25). The following subsections highlight some areas of intensive study.
Serotonin
Serotonin, a chemical messenger in the brain, is thought to function as a behavioral inhibitor. Thus, decreased serotonin activity is associated with increased impulsivity and aggressiveness (26) as well as with early-onset alcoholism among men (27).
Researchers have developed an animal model that simulates many of the characteristics of alcoholism in humans. Rhesus macaque monkeys sometimes consume alcohol in sufficient quantities to become intoxicated. Macaques with low serotonin activity consume alcohol at elevated rates (25); these monkeys also demonstrate impaired impulse control, resulting in excessive and inappropriate aggression (25,27). This behavior and brain chemistry closely resemble that of type II alcoholics. Interestingly, among both macaques and humans, parental neglect leads to early-onset aggression and excessive alcohol consumption in the offspring, again correlated with decreased serotonin activity (27).
Although data are inconclusive, the alcohol-violence link may be mediated by chemical messengers in addition to serotonin, such as dopamine and norepinephrine (28). There is also considerable overlap among nerve cell pathways in the brain that regulate aspects of aggression (29), sexual behavior, and alcohol consumption (30). These observations suggest a biological basis for the frequent co-occurrence of alcohol intoxication and sexual violence.
Testosterone
The steroid hormone testosterone is responsible for the development of male primary and secondary sexual characteristics. High testosterone concentrations in criminals have been associated with violence, suspiciousness, and hostility (31,32). In animal experiments, alcohol administration increased aggressive behavior in socially dominant squirrel monkeys, who already exhibited high levels of aggression and testosterone (33). Alcohol did not, however, increase aggression in subordinate monkeys, which exhibited low levels of aggression and testosterone (6).
These findings may shed some light on the life cycle of violence in humans. In humans, violence occurs largely among adolescent and young adult males, who tend to have high levels of testosterone compared with the general population. Young men who exhibit antisocial behaviors often “burn out” with age, becoming less aggressive when they reach their forties (34). By that age, testosterone concentrations are decreasing, while serotonin concentrations are increasing, both factors that tend to restrain violent behavior (35).
Conclusion
No one model can account for all individuals or types of violence. Alcohol apparently may increase the risk of violent behavior only for certain individuals or subpopulations and only under some situations and social/cultural influences (4,36).
Although much remains to be learned, research suggests that some violent behavior may be amenable to treatment and some may be preventable. One study found decreased levels of marital violence in couples who completed behavioral marital therapy for alcoholism and remained sober during followup (37). Results of another study (7) suggest that a 10-percent increase in the beer tax could reduce murder by 0.3 percent, rape by 1.32 percent, and robbery by 0.9 percent. Although these results are modest, they indicate a direction for future research. In addition, preliminary experiments have identified medications that have the potential to reduce violent behavior. Such medications include certain anticonvulsants (e.g., carbamazepine) (38); mood stabilizers (e.g., lithium) (39); and antidepressants,
especially those that increase serotonin activity (e.g., fluoxetine) (40,41). However, these studies either did not differentiate alcoholic from nonalcoholic subjects or excluded alcoholics from participation.
Alcohol, Violence, and Aggression–A Commentary by
NIAAA Director Enoch Gordis, M.D.
Both alcohol use and violence are common in our society, and there are many associations between the two. Understanding the nature of these associations, including the environmental and biological antecedents of each and the ways in which they may be related, is essential to developing effective strategies to prevent alcohol-related violence as well as other social problems, such as domestic violence, sexual assault, and childhood abuse and neglect. Because no area of science stands apart from another, understanding more about alcohol-related violence also will shed light on violence in general and produce information that may be useful to reducing it.
Science has made progress on elucidating the environmental and biological antecedents of alcohol abuse and alcoholism; less progress has been made toward understanding the causes of violence. Understanding the biology of violence will help us to clearly define the role of the environment in increasing the risk for violence and increase our understanding of who is at risk for violent behavior. This understanding also will help us to develop effective interventions–both social and medical where intended–to help those whose violence has caused trouble for themselves and others….”
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa38.htm
and viagara? My husband was extremely aggressive in a BAD way when he used both together. I have fist holes in a door and wall and dents in sink due to that concoction.
Here’s what I found…
“Can Viagra cause violence?
In a controversial research review, toxicologist Harold Milman and S. B. Arnold recently raised the possibility that the drug Viagra, used to treat erectile dysfunction, may contribute to violent behavior.
Milman and Arnold uncovered 274 reports of mental side effects linked to Viagra (sildenafil), including amnesia, aggression, and disorientation. In addition, they note that the drug has been suggested as a contributing factor in 22 cases involving aggression, 13 involving rape, and 6 involving murder.
Milman notes, “Published studies [report] that sildenafil crosses the blood-brain barrier, that it exerts various biochemical and physiologic effects in the brain, and that it affects information processing.” He acknowledges that his data on behavioral side effects is anecdotal, but says, “It’s clear that these men are behaving abnormally.”
He concludes, “It is recommended that before prescribing sildenafil for erectile dysfunction, clinicians should caution their patients and their partners on the possibility of neurologic, emotional, or psychological disturbances; amnesia or loss of consciousness; or aggressive behavior.”
The study’s conclusions are challenged by several scientists, including Kevin McKenna who says studies of rodents suggest that Viagra would be likely to reduce aggression rather than increasing it.
—–
“Neurologic, psychological, and aggressive disturbances with sildenafil,” H. A. Milman and S. B. Arnold, Annals of Pharmacotherapy, Vol. 36, No. 7-8, July-August 2002, 1129-34. Address: Harold Milman, ToxNetwork.com, Rockville, MD 20853-2345.
— and —
“Scientists debate possible Viagra-aggression link,” Todd Zwillich, Reuters, December 6, 2002.
http://www.autismwebsite.com/crimetimes/03a/w03ap12.htm
My first response would be considering the massive of numbers of people that are taking sildenafil, that’s not a huge number of reports. Rare side-effect seems to be appropriate.
There’s also the issue mentioned above… a great deal of the increase in aggression from alcohol is a placebo effect social expectation of increased aggression. I could see the same thing happening with booze and sildenafil. Guys expect to become aggressive, so they become aggressive.
should be…
“…considering the massive numbers of people…”
My second husband was an abusive, alcoholic, drug-addicted sociopath. I fell back on the Alcohol Excuse for too damned many years because he was so sorry and charming afterwards.
Finally, a mutual friend stated the obvious to me. “When you’re drunk,” he said, “Do you terrorize people? Do you beat them up and rape them? Do you put your fists thru walls and break windows?”
“Well, no. I get silly and, um, horny,” I admitted.
“There ya’ go,” he stated, “The alcohol doesn’t cause the behavior. It just releases it. (Your husband) is rotten to the core. The problem is his character, not the alcohol he uses to excuse his behavior.”
I get silly and horny 🙂 (((sjct))))
I was going to bring up that I’m a “happy” drunk. I blame myself 🙂
They always have an excuse.
The drink made me do it
The devil made me do it
the worse one is – YOU made me do it. Which is typical of abusers to blame their victims for the abuse.
Now a days – the Republicans blame Osama/9-11 for all that they do.
Amen rosee! Good to see you here. I hope things will get better and better for you. No one deserves abuse.
I understand your outrage.
Big hugs,
Shirl
I absolutely agree because of my own personal experiences. Thanks for expressing my own feelings in your writing.
Has anyone noticed if the media has brought up the former Homeland Security guy(s) pedophilia? If this was a Dem, they would be dredging everything–whether related or not. I’m going to e-mail KO–he’s seemingly the only T.V. news personality doing their job. Thank goodness for Keith.
First of all, whether he is an “alcoholic” or not…this is just a talking point excuse.
“De DEBIL made me do it!!!”
Well here it’s more like “Dem spinners made me SAY it!!!
It’s all about saving what political ground they can save.
Nothing more.
Backs to the wall time.
Bet on it.
AG
Rosie, I am so glad you are out from under that environment. That makes it more secure for you. Life will surely go on for you and just be careful not to choose another mate with those same attributes in the future. Hugs and am so glad you’re freed from this nightmare.