ELECTION DAY SPECIAL: THEY SO NEED ALL 50 WAYS
TO THE TUNE OF PAUL SIMON’S
“50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LOVER”
FROM THE DIARY OF KARL ROVE 2005
I’ve seen tension in Dub. No WMD’s, no terrorists, (well when we started) in Iraq, Social Security is stalling, me and Joseph Wilson and Valerie always in the news, and they say our tax cuts have caused the worst budget deficit in history. He needs a pep talk, we got to give him cover and stay on message
As Karl dozes, he remembers thinking; cover the boss’s back, and hears again the name of Paul Simon. Hey, he’s dead; he can’t run for Senate, that’s how Ashcroft lost. He stands and sings before his president:
The problems are inside the liberals head I’ll make you see
The answer is so easy if we take it logically
The whole point of this strategy is we must be blame free
There must be fifty ways to keep our cover
I know you hate reporters that peskily intrude
You always stay on message so you won’t be misconstrued
You certainly repeat yourself so if they question, they are rude
There must be fifty ways to keep our cover
Pick some folks to attack, Jack
Get a privatized plan, Stan
Make it fir or agin, Ken
Just keep us blame free
Cut the richest folk’s tax, Dax
Use the color code red, Ned
Seek new funds for Iraq, Zack
Just keep us blame free
Oh Dub, it grieves me so to see you in such pain
Wish there were new threats we could utilize for gain
I know you’d ditto that so I’ll again explain
About the fifty ways
Resist the stem cell, Dell
Force all people to pray, Ray
Coerce all to agree, Lee
Just keep us blame free
Make dissenters conform, Norm
Don’t give them their say, Jay
Keep reporters in jail, Hale
And keep us blame free
THE DIARY: FALL 2006
Our cover’s blown. The opposition may actually gain in this election. It’s the press’s fault, of course, with all those anti-administration facts on WMD’s, that liberator thing (well, we were greeted, just not that way) and 9/11 (NOT) due to Saddam, but I still love saying it 9/11, 9/11, 9/11 – it still can work – we keep calling them cut and runners; (they won’t be clever enough to call us slog and bleeders) and fear, more fear, fear. The only governing is getting elected so we must accentuate the negative because that is our positive; and to any of our candidates who don’t agree – no RNC bucks. Karl again dreams.
Swift boat Democrat vets, Chet
That works well we’ve all seen
Demand negative ads, Thad
Or we’ll send them no green
Cause they need RNC bucks, Chuck
To control TV screens
Bait the cut and run Dems, Clem
And we’ll be home free
Give them all a good fright, Dwight
Cause we got to divide, Clyde
And we’ll get 50 states to run for cover
Absorb the plan of attack, Zack
Emphasize Bush is at war, Thor
And surely they’ll see
Deny state of denial, Lyle
And keep us blame free
Get the racist ad on, Ron
When you’re in a close race, Chase
But say you didn’t know, Joe
And keep us blame free
But….. they still might win the day, Clay
So plan what records to shred, Fred
And that’s just one more time we’ll keep our cover
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We have nothing to fear so much as not having the use of fear itself”
Karl “Roosevelt” Rove
Norman@justoffthenorm.com
Norman is a U.S. citizen who lives in
Connecticut and believes love of
Country, through voting, should be
a commandment.
