My boys came back from a week of camping with their father and said that they encountered a rattlesnake on the trail and that Dad poked it with a stick.
Last time I ran into Rattler was coming out of a Lava tube near where I lived in Northern California. I don’t think that snake’s tail got a chance to go back and forth but once before I was at least 20′ away. I went back to get photos, of course, because they can only strike about 2-3′ and I made sure I was much futher away than that. Still, if you’ve ever heard a Rattler you’ll understand how your first instinct is to run, fast!
Copperhead bites, on the other hand, are surely less likely males + alcohol.
Picked up my first copperhead when I was 5 – it was
pretty
, and I’ve never been scared of snakes. I’m better at recognizing pit vipers now than I once was, fortunately. And in Missouri, where I was at the time, most of the rattlers and copperheads were small. The cottonmouths, however, are not so small and in my experience are more aggressive.
‘Evening, kids. Had to drop in & say hello to my ever-luscious pond-mates. However, the pic of the Buschite feline makes me squeamish. Ergo, alas, I post & run.
See you later!
Take care. Get well. (While you at it, I’d have that * in the “sh*t” looked at, if I were you. Those outflow systems get a little balky on us graying males.)
As a born and bred Southerner, I have to gently demurr slamming those who might be considered my own kind. However, taking on goatropers is perfectly ok. I remember with great fondness the goatroper wedding, the goatroper paper boy, the goatroper father, the goatroper. . . but I digress.
For goatropers with political ambitions, you have to become an Aggie. So, here’s a classic Aggie joke.
It was announced on the Dallas news last night, that the Library at Texas A&M burned.
It was a complete loss.
Both books were burned up.
And one hadn’t even been colored in yet.
Note. Texas A&M is where Bush I has his Presidential Liberry. They are hoping to graft on a branch for Bush II
Good one – but I heard it was the Bush Presidential library.
*And a disclaimer – FM told me he likes it when I poke fun of Southerners™ and he’s sad when I stop. So I’m just giving him what he wants while he’s sick!
So if anyone has jokes about middle aged blondes, go right ahead – although I have to warn you, I’m damn near perfect.
Yes, there are a whole series. They are pretty hilarious, as a send up of arch-Southern womanhood with more than a elbow or two directed toward Southern men, also. Among the books are –
The Sweet Potato Queens’ Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner), Jill Conner Browne, and several others by her in that series. Needless to say, this isn’t exactly what Powell’s usually features – though they do sell her books, but you can read an excerpt of the first book (God Save the Sweet Potato Queens) on Amazon. You have to be in the right frame of mind to read this stuff. It is NOT to be taken seriously!
I think we should have a redneck joke fest.
Definition:
MODEM-
Answer: how you get rid of your dandelions.
Oh, I love Jim Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck” routines.
There’s one that goes something like this:
“If the demise of one of your male relatives was immediately preceeded by ‘hey fellas, watch this!’ You might be a redneck.”
THat’s a good one! I read about some guy that died swallowing a whole goldfish.
Has anyone checked if it was W?
I thought you meant a goldfish pretzel.
No, oddly, a real live goldfish. I have to think alcohol was involved.
That’s a 10-4 good buddy on the brewski.
I read somewhere that 95% of all rattlesnake bites in the US involved males between the ages of 16 and 26, and alcohol.
And it seems to me that you could say the same about so many “accidents.”
My boys came back from a week of camping with their father and said that they encountered a rattlesnake on the trail and that Dad poked it with a stick.
See why I’m divorced?
I’m surprised you’re not widowed.
YES!
Last time I ran into Rattler was coming out of a Lava tube near where I lived in Northern California. I don’t think that snake’s tail got a chance to go back and forth but once before I was at least 20′ away. I went back to get photos, of course, because they can only strike about 2-3′ and I made sure I was much futher away than that. Still, if you’ve ever heard a Rattler you’ll understand how your first instinct is to run, fast!
If you’ve ever heard my ex you’ll understand why his first instinct was to poke it with a stick. 😉
I’ve seen that stat. Those are bites given to rattlesnakes.
Well gee whiz, we gotta have something to use that snakebite remedy on, now don’t we?
Copperhead bites, on the other hand, are surely less likely males + alcohol.
Picked up my first copperhead when I was 5 – it was
pretty
, and I’ve never been scared of snakes. I’m better at recognizing pit vipers now than I once was, fortunately. And in Missouri, where I was at the time, most of the rattlers and copperheads were small. The cottonmouths, however, are not so small and in my experience are more aggressive.
Evenin’ folks. Hope all is going well. If anyone’s around, I may try and make it to Drinking Liberally tomorrow…it’s contingent on a couple of things.
I’m still trying to get over last week’s disappointment… :::sniff:::
Sure…I bet you got your first beer and forgot all about it. 😛
Our housemate emailed me some “redneck” photos awhile back. Here’s one
Redneck BBQ
I expected that last one to be a goat.
Why wasn’t this a FotoFair submission? 🙂
This was my favorite.
That is one impressive carport! Now where’s the couch on the front porch?
Never mind the couch. Where’s the toilet?
I see my former landlords finally got their $500 weekly!
You haven’t lived until you’ve cooked an egg on the manifold of your hard-driven pickup.
‘Evening, kids. Had to drop in & say hello to my ever-luscious pond-mates. However, the pic of the Buschite feline makes me squeamish. Ergo, alas, I post & run.
See you later!
Well, this sucks! I missed you again. :/
Take a quick look at the diary Kidspeak just posted. She did this without my knowledge, and I’m proud of my little people.
I refuse to call anything involving my wife and students Diary Whoring. Even if it is. I can live with the shame.
okay just this once we’ll let you use diarymongering instead.
Thank you. We school teachers have to watch our language.
Huh. Guess I’ll have to remind Jim about that the next time he’s talking about Bush.
You gotta know your audience.
it’s more of a case of his audience knowing him
Take care. Get well. (While you at it, I’d have that * in the “sh*t” looked at, if I were you. Those outflow systems get a little balky on us graying males.)
On us graying mares as well.
As the miles pile on, don’t life get odder and odder?
As a born and bred Southerner, I have to gently demurr slamming those who might be considered my own kind. However, taking on goatropers is perfectly ok. I remember with great fondness the goatroper wedding, the goatroper paper boy, the goatroper father, the goatroper. . . but I digress.
For goatropers with political ambitions, you have to become an Aggie. So, here’s a classic Aggie joke.
It was announced on the Dallas news last night, that the Library at Texas A&M burned.
It was a complete loss.
Both books were burned up.
And one hadn’t even been colored in yet.
Note. Texas A&M is where Bush I has his Presidential Liberry. They are hoping to graft on a branch for Bush II
Good one – but I heard it was the Bush Presidential library.
*And a disclaimer – FM told me he likes it when I poke fun of Southerners™ and he’s sad when I stop. So I’m just giving him what he wants while he’s sick!
So if anyone has jokes about middle aged blondes, go right ahead – although I have to warn you, I’m damn near perfect.
Of course you are! Takes one to know one.
Are you also a Sweet Potato Queen? I’m not, but then, few are.
I seem to recall a book(?) by the Sweet Potato queens – or maybe I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.
Yes, there are a whole series. They are pretty hilarious, as a send up of arch-Southern womanhood with more than a elbow or two directed toward Southern men, also. Among the books are –
The Sweet Potato Queens’ Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner), Jill Conner Browne, and several others by her in that series. Needless to say, this isn’t exactly what Powell’s usually features – though they do sell her books, but you can read an excerpt of the first book (God Save the Sweet Potato Queens) on Amazon. You have to be in the right frame of mind to read this stuff. It is NOT to be taken seriously!
Drinking 27 of whatever you’re having isn’t really all that fun when you’re sick.
You gotta stop after 22.
My bad. I hadn’t realized that FM was sick. I do hope that he feels better soon. (No wonder that I can hear the crickets over at my blog.)