[update]See additional chart below.

The Scottish branch of my family was unified against two groups: Catholics, or as they were called, “the Bloody Papists,” and the Scottish Episcopal Church, “as good as Bloody Papists.” They had loud, long, and well-reasoned debates why both these institutions did the De’ils work here on Earth. But then the debates got messier. One branch stayed with the Church of Scotland. They generally prospered and settled into the middle class.

Tensions frayed when a member of the family broke away and joined the Relief Church in a heated argument over the cost of establishment for the Church of Scotland. Two brothers never spoke again when Great- Great-Great-Great Uncle Lawrence called his brother’s beloved Church of Scotland, “A hand maiden to the Whore of Babylon.”

(More sad history below)

But sadly, G-G-G-G Uncle Lawrence live to see turmoil in his own house. Lawrence’s family had migrated with the Relief Church to join the Successionist Church of Scotland. His son, also named, Lawrence, threw out his son, Lawrence, named after his grandfather, out of the house after a heated argument over the Burgher — Anti-Burgher split. Lawrence pere and Lawrence fils split openly when the younger Lawrence, in a fit of Knox inspired piety, condemned his family for their defense of the discredited patronage system.

But when young Lawrence had a family of own, he too came to know the pain of the family curse of the schism. For we are a proud family and we demand correctness of thought and speech. When Lawrence’s beloved daughter, Mary, began to study Calvin’s Institutes and Knox’s sermons, she soon saw that the Anti-Burger faction of the Associate Presbytery fell short of the spiritual truths of those great men of God. Through many a long Scottish winter night, she exhorted her father to see the truth. He refused. Finally he ordered her and her “false New Light Anti-Burgher clap-trap” out of his house.

Poor Mary was just as unwelcome at her cousin, Lawrence’s house, as he was firmly a Church of Scotland Old-Light Burgher. Her namesake aunt, Mary, would also have nothing to so with her, as she was Church of Scotland New-Light Burgher. Aunt Mary famously replied to her niece, just before she slammed the door in her niece’s face, that she “would rather clasp a muckle asp to my bosom than allow a New Light Anti-Burger into my home.” Great-Great-Great Aunt Mary was a pious woman, indeed.

Poor Mary finally found shelter in the home of a kindly New Light Anti-Burgher family and eventually she married the youngest son, Laurence. Things settled down for a bit, but the entire family saw each other only on Sunday’s as they passed, unspeaking, on the way to their respective churches. One notable family gathering during this time was when the entire clan gathered to burn the Pope in effigy. Sadly, even this potentially healing  moment went agley when a Glasgow ice storm appeared unexpectedly, protecting the effigy from flames. Each faction saw this defeat as God’s punishment on them for joining with  those who had fallen away from the true path.

Mary and Laurence lived well into their ninety’s, long enough to see four grandchildren born. (New Light Anti-Burgher’s are notoriously doubtful about the propriety of sexual relations.)
The last years were marked by sadness and despair. Their beloved grand-daughter, Mary, and grandson, Lawrence, (his father, Laurence, and named him after Old Lawrence in a failed attempt to reunite the family), split with the Family and joined the United Original Successionist Church. Mary and Laurence cut Mary and Lawrence out of their wills and banned their grandchildren from attending their funerals. “As if we would be seen attending a New Light Anti-Burgher funeral,” huffed Mary, a remark that still has a wide and approving circulation in United Original Successionist Circles.

Many things are certain in Scotland, rain, alcohol, and depression, just to name a few. But nothing is as certain as a split over dogma. Mary married Laurence Sharp, a  United Original Successionist Church vicar and had twins, Mary and Laurence. Her brother, Lawrence, married Mary Hamilton, and had a daughter, Mary. The Hamilton’s were so devoted to the Reformed Presbyterian Church, that Lawrence laid aside his principles and joined. The entire family reviled him as a weak man who threw over God for a woman. His wife was called, when she was spoken of at all, which was rarely, as “that succubus.”

Laurence Sharp was a restless soul. He sought the truth of God by turning again to the works of Calvin and Knox. He and Mary came to have grave doubts about the United Original Successionist Church. They were particularly concerned by the use of instrumental music in the church and the resurrection of rood screens in some United Original Successionist Churches. They gather others with similar doubts around them and were part of the original group that founded the Free Church of Scotland, a band of sincerely devout believers that was so tiny they came to be known “the Wee Free’s”.

My branch of the family left Scotland at this point. Their odyssey in America is a topic for another time. My Scottish family has died out. The ongoing doctrinal disputes whittled the once vigorous clan to nothing. Children tired of their elders arcane disputes and left the parents’ churches. Several rejoined the still vibrant Roman Catholic Church. One distant relative has a high position in the Vatican Office of Doctrine.

Most of their churches are gone. Most Scots have never heard of them or the doctrinal splits that shattered that once the family. The hated Catholics and the despised Episcopal Church of Scotland live on. The Church of Scotland is slowly withering away. And in a tiny, overgrown graveyard outside Paisley, next to the ruins of a old church, you can see a burial plot of one branch of my stunted family tree. The weathered stone is difficult to read. The last name is unintelligible, but the first name is either Lawrence or Laurence. Under that name is the family motto, “No Compromise, No Reconciliation.”




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