I love to swear.
I love the satisfaction of yelling `GODDAMMITALLTOHELL!” when I hit my thumb with a hammer: it helps it hurt less.
I love the word “SHIT!” spit out forcefully, when something goes unexpectedly wrong. (I will never have a tombstone, but if I did, it would simply read “Oh SHIT!”)
Or “SUNUVABITCH!”, which is almost as good as “SHIT!”
And then there’s “FUCK!”
Wow. Is there another cuss word anywhere that says as much?
“FUCKIT!”
I’d have perished by now without that phrase!
It’s the razor sharp word-lance that frees me up instantaneously, from everything that does NOT MATTER AT ALL!
Just plain…”FUCKIT”!
The really BIG sucky stuff sometimes requires more, however, and then I am forced to use “WELL! FUCK THAT SHIT!” accompanied by a little FUCKIT DANCE , which usually does the trick. Luckily, I have a partner who knows all the steps too.
Of course, these kind of verbalizations, coming out of the mouth of what appears to be a “nice lil ol lady”, is quite shocking to most, and out of respect to the other old folks I live around, who could have a cardiac event at any moment, or at least be at risk of swallowing their dentures in a sharp intake of breath, I confine my cussing to those treasured others who can handle my mouth.
My crazy, out of control, alcoholic grandmother taught me to swear, before I even hit pre-school, and was the reason I got expelled soon thereafter. She also was the only grownup in my world I could really trust back then. I always KNEW where she was coming from: when it was safe, and when it was NOT safe, to be around her. All those others, with their prim and proper silky-sweet language, well, that was like living in a live mine field that looked like a field of flowers.
Then I stopped swearing for many, many years. It got beaten out of me by an overtly sexist society and by the church. I learned how to be a “proper Christian lady, wife, and mother” instead. Then later, I learned how to be a “successful professional woman.”
(Unfortunately, only way to keep the swear words from coming out during all of this was to become a closet alcoholic, but eventually, I got past that too.)
Now, however, I am old, and I am finally FREE! Now I get to go back to being who I was all along, under all of those disguises. And I am an old woman who loves to SWEAR, and who very much loves other people to also “dare to swear!”
Cuss words are short, honest and clear: they are not packed full of hidden meanings or messages. You can trust them.
They are spontaneous, not carefully planned, spun stupid words, calculated to elicit a desired response.
They are brave enough to demand equal time with all the insincere slop that passes for human communication.
They are real words, spoken by real people who care more about honest communication than they care about the “approval” of others.
When I meet someone new, and hear that first “Damn!” or “Shit!” or “Fuck” come out of their mouths, I know I’ve met someone I will probably like: someone who is clear about who they are and are content with themselves enough to risk honest, open communication.
When I meet someone whose communication is always carefully measured, “politically correct” and “socially acceptable”, I have usually met someone living behind one façade or another: in any case, it will take awhile to discover who they really “are” underneath it, if they are even open to even being “discovered” as who they really are at all.
One thing about getting old: you know time is not endless anymore, and I’m damned if I intend to waste anymore of mine. It took me most of this lifetime to excavate my authentic self from the cast iron molds people stuffed me into, and the rest of this gig will be spent around real people, as my real self!
And if that’s a hardship on anyone around me, well, just FUCK EM ALL!
(Your turn now, to take little break from the heavy stuff!! )
Just a bit of humor that helped me get past the uglies this morning!
I Love it!!!!!!
In my circle of friends I’m proposing we use “neoliberal” and “technocrat” as expletives.
“Gonorrhea” is a popular swear word in Colombia, both as an expletive and as a way to call someone.In spanish “Gonorrea” has that hard R that is very satisfying in a swear word. It’s the one I use most often.
I gave up trying to curb my enthusiasm for using words society doesn’t deem polite-especially when used by women..just why is it that it’s supposedly worse sounding when women cuss than men anyway..that old double fucking standard continues to rear it’s shitty head.
I have a few ‘rules’ for myself concerning my use of cuss words and why by the way is saying ‘shit’ so terrible anyway..it’s just a word and quite descriptive at that..well anyway my rules for myself mean that I don’t use my fuck/shit etc to people. I probably have never said to anyone..’you’re a piece of shit’ or even ‘fuck you’ for that matter-that would get me nowhere. I do however constantly use fuck/shit and so on in my daily language..you know how that goes..oh fuck time to get dinner started, fucking hell, it’s time to fucken get busy and do some shitty-ass household chores and so on..
All bets are off though when I see bush on tv or hear him then the air in my apartment is usually blue for short periods of time.(and all bets are really off when I talk about the fucking medical profession)
I have to say also that just the use of cuss words is boring and if someone who only seems to be able to string the words fuck/shit/ass together without any other thought in their fucken pea-brains doesn’t do it for me either..learn to have a better vocabulary dudes and dudettes so you’re cuss words mean something or are used as adjectives instead of the main verb.
and why by the way is saying ‘shit’ so terrible anyway..it’s just a word and quite descriptive at that..
YEAH! Besides, as a caregiver of sick human beings since I was a kid, I have shoveled WAY more than my share of the stuff, and have damned well earned the right to call it what it IS!!!
No kidding-I hate some of the euphemisms people come up to describe shit or other fuctions also..like saying ‘poop’..I for one can’t say that stupid word, it sounds childish and icky(technical phrase)to me.
ROFLMAO…well done scribe!
some days only a good “FUCK IT!” will do
here’s a bit written many years ago by Monthy Python’s Flying Circus for your readers elucidation:
also, an audio version, narrated by Jack Wagner…the former “voice of Disneyland”…sroll down for mp3 link…:{)
Fuck it!
The word ‘fuck’ transcends itself and truly does become a word for everything under the sun and understood easily by all…whether they like it or not.
The perfect word in fact.
I was thinking of looking for that but don’t have a clue how to link or box stuff up like that, (and worse no fucking inclination to learn how to, either!) so thank you for doing it for me!!
This all reminds me of a neighborhood in South Minneapolis I lived in a few years ago where folks tended to take their disagreements out on the street. I used to laugh as I heard these sessions because it became clear to me that the “winner” was the one who could use fuck in a sentence the most.
For example:
Fucking fuckhead fucked me fucking all the fuck over.
I must admit that this is merely an amatuers attempt – those folks were pros.
That kinda thing breaks me up totally!
Pardon me madam,
but I find your liberal use of these curse words highly distressing and inappropriate for use on a civilized and enlightened discussion board. In the words of John Gielgud to Liza Minelli in the movie Arthur, ‘one must usually go to a bowling alley to find a woman of your stature’.
What the fuck were you thinkin’?
..how much fucking FUN I had writing this diary!!!
Rolling on the fucking floor laughing my old fucking ass off. . .GFA. . .gasping for air.
Sometimes nothing does it like a good FUCK! (in all the ways that can be taken)
Delightful, Scribe
Shirl
Somehow, shirl..I just KNEW you’d like this!
You made me pee my fucking pants with delight this afternoon. Of course, that’s much easier these days than in previous years so don’t let it go to your fucking head.
I’ve never understood people’s hangups with swearing. They’re just words, people! Of course I know when not to use them, but there are many occasions when there is just no substitution that is as satisfying as spitting out a good “FUCK”! And it made Shirl come out the woodwork, so that’s cool.
My kids have grown up with my potty mouth and not one of them has ever used swearing inappropriately nor gotten in trouble at school, etc.
My eldest son bragged to his friend when they were teenagers that his mom was the only one he’d ever known who could use fuck as a noun, verb and adjective ALL IN THE SAME SENTENCE.
Several phrases have gained a sort of nostalgic notoriety in our family among them:
“Merry fucking Christmas” – flung out the car window one snowy Christmas eve on the way to church when a man in a Santa suit cut us off in traffic.
And “Where’s the Swiss fucking Miss!” when I apparently really needed some hot chocolate. I love that one because it brings to mind some alpine sexual adventures, possibly of the lesbian sort.
<<…”Of course, that’s much easier these days than in previous years so don’t let it go to your fucking head.
SHIT!!! I just GOT this fucking new keyboard, and now it is covered with coffee!!!!
First of all, I recommended this diary in the spirit in which it was written, so please dont let what I have to say sound overly pedantic or “heavy”. Your diary definitely made me smile!
Please understand however that the stiffness of speech and the cultural censorship against “swear” words, whether for all people or more specifically for women and “Christians”, has nothing to do with gender or religion but is a legacy of the English language itself.
Roughly speaking, the English-speaking world went through a tumult directly after the years when Shakespeare and company were writing public ribaldry and free-wheeling prose (up to and including “swear” words and inventing ones outright). There was a civil war, the king was executed and then the king was restored.
Beginning then, a number of people (most famously Samuel Johnson) began becoming obsessed over what was or wasn’t “proper” speech, including what is or isn’t “proper” spelling. The first English dictionaries were from this period.
It culminated in the Victorian age, when there were elaborate rules on what and was not “proper” for English speakers (worldwide mind you). One of the legacies of this that we all know about today is the various euphemisms and bland, vague description for bodily functions that most Americans (and English speakers worldwide) consider the ONLY way to be polite.
Therefore it is no coincidence at all that the word “shit” is considered a “swear” word or extremely vulgar, precisely because it is a direct term for a bodily function. In other languages, the equivalent word is used much more freely and openly and has a far, far less vulgar connotation than it does in English.
The other major “swear” word in English, “fuck”, also refers to an “impolite” bodily function esp when it relates to the act of sexual intercourse. Again this is a carryover from the Victorian age when almost all bodily functions were considered impolite and improper topics of discussion.
Besides these being restricted modes of speech even in American society today, these topics are also still heavily censored in music and television, not to mention public laws. Nursing a baby in public is often considered “obscene” by many Americans and occasionally even litigated because of these Victorian legacy norms.
Bodily functions in general are considered obscene and censored, from non-sexual nudity in art to anything relating to defecation/micturation (peeing/shitting), to giving birth, how a diaper works, direct discussion for the use of tampons, etc. When is the last time you ever saw any of this on television? Never. Not in the United States. There is absolutely nothing intrinsically wrong with showing a woman deliver a child or a man peeing into a toilet yet most Americans would find images of these to be extremely distasteful and uncomfortable.
Even seeing someone sweat on television provokes an uncomfortable response in television viewers and is used sparingly. Even the most strenuous sporting event rarely gives much airtime to visibly sweating athletes.
Incidents of farting or belching are considered appealing by some precisely because of their “vulgarity” and yet many people feel this is “childish”, “juvenile” or even offensive. I have yet to meet someone in my life of any gender, race or age who hasn’t burped or farted regularly.
My point here is that in other cultures and other languages, bodily functions never became considered “obscene” or inappropriate topics of discussion, even for “Christians” and women. Clearly all human beings have bodies and discussing them would (logically) seem to be something to have universal appeal. If you would speak Spanish to any number of women and devout Christians to boot, and wanted to discuss how yesterday’s greasy meal gave you great bouts of diarrhea, you might find your comments are met with complete equanimity.
Furthermore, many of the greatest “curse” words or insults are those that refer to “indecent” bodily acts or parts – someone is a “dick” or “cunt”, inviting someone to “suck their dick” or “blow” one, etc.
The anus is often a common insult to append to any derogatory remark such as “shove it up your ass” or one is an “asshole” etc. as if there was something intrinsically wrong or derogatory about this particular body part. If a person could not defecate waste products, they would die within a week yet there are enormous cultural taboos about the anus, up to and including sexual references.
Of course other cultures, especially those arising out of the Middle East, are equally eager to repress discussion and portrayal and often times the United States seems more like Saudi Arabia than Belgium.
Anyway, after being so longwinded, my point is that restrictions on speech and considering a lot of terms, especially those referring to bodily functions, as “vulgar” and therefore repressed, has nothing to do with Christianity or gender but is simply a legacy of stratified British society rules.
Even shorter: please feel free to use swear words, and plenty of people (as evidenced by the recommenders here) will support you! π
Have a great damn day!
Pax
By the way, and I may find other examples elsewhere, but my opinion is that SWEDISH has the most colorful, vibrant and appealing “swear” words and expressions of any language.
A great website for some fairly accurate “swear” words and phrases in dozens of languages can be found here.
Gå och sug din mammas kuk och pulla din farsa samtidigt!
I love it π
Pax
Holy shit.
prefuckincisely!
Thanks for adding the historical perspective Soj: very useful and not heavy at all. However, I must disagree with the claim that the cultural censorship of speech that I personally have experienced in my lifetime “had nothing to do with gender or religion ..” In the 40 and 50’s when I was growing up, my gender and fundamentalist religion had everything to do with shutting me up totally, for far too long. It certainly not seem to have that effect on many the boys and men I knew back then!
As for those ol Victorian prudes..well…too damned bad for them!
I apologize as I did not speak clearly.
Yes, in the United States and in your particular experience, there is cultural pressure on “Christians” and women not to curse. What I was trying to say was that in other cultures, there is no such belief that swearing is “un-Christian” or “improper” for women.
In fact, just in my own personal experience, I’d say Romanian women over a certain age (probably 30-40) tend to be the most frequent users of “everyday” vulgarities, curse words and “swear” words. It is far, far more accepted and “ordinary” in Romanian speech unless one is giving a political speech on TV or something extremely formal. It’s just hard to convey just how ordinary and banal these expressions are because in the United States they tend to retain a “shocking” or vulgar aspect.
Pax
Great summary there, Soj… though I take a teeny tiny issue with this one: direct discussion for the use of tampons, etc. When is the last time you ever saw any of this on television? Never. Not in the United States.
Have you ever seen South Park? That line made me think of the “Cherokee Hair Tampons” episode (has to be seen to be believed) in which the boys want to know when they’ll get their periods… And lordy, the excrement! Anyway, just thought I’d reference those for you … though your general point is spot on… in “serious” company, no, those wouldn’t be “proper” subjects of conversation!
Bodily functions in general are considered obscene and censored, from non-sexual nudity in art to anything relating to defecation/micturation (peeing/shitting), to giving birth, how a diaper works, direct discussion for the use of tampons, etc. When is the last time you ever saw any of this on television?
In fact, when talking about tampons or pads, the “fluid” is blue!! Isn’t that a riot?!? I always thought that was rather strange.
Thanks a lot, scribe! I really needed that today. You too, dada π
Golly gee willikers scribe, I must admit that I’ve never heard any of this strange jargon. Your grandmother must have been schooled in obscure dialects.
Nah. I suspect she was simply a linguistically gifted bi- polar being with a raging addiction to alcohol!
Golly gee willikers
Watch your mouth young man!!
I love lots of people who use swear words. And I love words of all kinds, and like using words of all kinds. The thing that is both amusing and perplexing to me about words like shit and fuck, is using them as insults, or to add on to virtually any other kind of statement, whatever. It really does seem like a holdover, an anti-Victorian thing to shock ourselves and our listeners by using these words for basic, even humble human functions, in other ways.
If these words weren’t referring to what are largely private functions, things that are mostly done without an audience (a partner not exactly being an audience), they wouldn’t have that effect. Somehow, saying “Sweat you, you mothersweating elbow sucker” just doesn’t have much power, does it? It’s the sex and the mess of body wastes, sticking them in as words where the aren’t “supposed” to be, that’s where the fun is.
In the future, I suppose, people will be surprised that anyone made a big deal of a VP telling someone to “go fuck yourself”. People will have moved to something else as a way to shock and amuse with whatever is hidden then, e.g. “you son of a gas-guzzling roomchiller!” “Go waste water, you coal-hoarder!”
“Amp-hog treekiller!”
At least, scribe, I think Cheney’s living proof that you probably wouldn’t like some of the people who love to use swear words, after all.
“Sweat you, you mothersweating elbow sucker!!!” LMAO!! ROFL!!! (for some reason this one took me out!) Hahahahaha! You guys are the best antidepressants I have ever found!
Why Scribe, I thought you were proper midwesterner! π
Fooled ya!
I’ve been around the barn a few dozen times with Maryscott O’Connor (a famous vulgarian if there ever was one) on this subject. This is only my opinion, worth pretty much what you paid for it:
Swearing is the lazy way out.
There are millions of words in the English language. Something like 30,000 of them are in general use. So why is it that we rely on half a dozen of them to get our point across?
Mark Twain famously said the difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug. So why use a lazy word when a much more descriptive word will do?
Listen, I’m not above using one of the Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television if the sitation warrants it. If you were to call George Bush a fuckwit, for instance, I wouldn’t argue with you. I would, however, find a more accurate, more descriptive and hopefully funnier way to say the same thing. For instance, I might call him “old Gasoline Brain,” and if asked what that means, I would explain that if brains were gasoline he wouldn’t have enough to power a sugar ant’s motor scooter twice around the inside of a Froot Loop.
And you’ll notice I’m not above saying “hell” and “damn” if the situation warrants it. I don’t go much beyond that, though. Call it a residue of my conservative upbringing if you like. It’s me just as much as your grandmother’s sailor-mouth is you, and I’m not trying to convince you or anyone else to “clean up your language.” I’m just expressing a contrarian point of view.
(And I’m afraid I can’t rely on Mark Twain to back me up in my use of eschewing profanity. He once wrote that his favorite word in the German language was “damit” until he found out that it doesn’t mean what he thought it meant.)
I completely agree that it’s the lazy way out. But sometimes it just feels so so good!
Well, I can’t argue much with that either. π
I think it whether its a “lazy way out” or not depends on how heavily one relies on it instead OF other perfectly good language. Like good spices, enough is great but too much can ruin the dish, imo. (And I may just borrow that Gasoline Brain/Froot loop thing, if that’s ok with you!)
Funny, I’ve used the spice analogy myself, and it’s perfectly apropos. A little oregano in the spaghetti sauce can make the dish. Too much and, well, you end up with oregano sauce. Yuck.
And as for the gasoline brain comment, feel free, since I didn’t invent it. I picked up various parts of it from girl friends I had many years ago and just cobbled together the bits I liked.
…if I wasn’t told a variant of this:
Then I stopped swearing for many, many years. It got beaten out of me by an overtly sexist society and by the church. I learned how to be a “proper Christian lady, wife, and mother” instead.
The ol’ “ladies don’t curse” thing was never persuasive. It just never struck me as a good reason to stop.
Of course, when some dumb boy got cussed out when I was younger, my parents were there to cheer me on. Heh, heh, heh. (They deserved it, trust me…one in particular who invited me to the prom only to back out after I started getting my dress made. I called him a “stupid jackass” on the upstairs telephone as my Mom was walking in the house after work. She kinda-sorta lectured me but then told me not to worry about it. I learned as I got older that she was downstairs listening longer than I thought and was cheering me on. And I got the last laugh, dammit–I ended up going to four proms and the jackass tried to ask me out years later, only to be told by me that I had other priorities. Ha!)
The parents didn’t raise a doormat. I just never, ever, EVER even thought about using such language in front of them. Still don’t. Even though I might slip every now and then when relaying who said what during a conversation they weren’t privy to. They know how tart-mouthed I can get. But I’m such an amazing daughter, that they don’t complain. :<)
Damn glad you wrote this diary!
Oh my stars scribe, I cannot imagine why you would cotton to folks that verbosely use non-essential verbiage in describing themselves or situations of which they have been a part.
I for one have never offended the ears to such an appalling effect.
As my mother always said: Ladies don’t say fuck, they just know it’s damn fun to do.
π
Scribe… there’s one I didn’t see in your post and subsequent comments… Fuckin A!, as in:
Fuckin A Scribe! That was one great diary!
Thanks to “W” I’m now learning the art of the well placed cuss word nestled among words respected by finer people so they fully understand that I’m sick and tired of shit, mad as hell, and seeking as many lowlife recruits as I can find to pound these fuckers in office to dust.
Well… Fuck ME! Love this post. Don’t fall in love with me just yet….. LOL
OUTFUCKNSTAND’N…..
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LLAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWD