I am grateful to my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome for forcing me to cope with my addiction to computers. LOL!
But, seriously…
Over the past few years, I have actually convinced myself that writing messages to and receiving responses from strangers using pseudonyms was a substitute for friendship and community. What has happened on this website in the past week has proven the fragility of such an assumption. I was AWOL for several days and when I came back it took me awhile to piece together what happened and even now I have a very fragmented picture.
I think the problem with introducing politics into any community is that this will invite the indulgence of negativity and venting against the imaginary “other.” The fact is there is no other, we are all coping with our own inner devils. The veil of anonymity invites narcissistic behavior, since it is always a challenge to step up to the plate and take responsibility. Always.
I tried to express my feelings about this some months ago in my diary entitled “Don’t Think of a Troll.” My point was that the more we focus on “trolling” and use this terminology the more we invite “trollish” behaviors and why don’t we as enlightened and loving people try to introduce some more enlightened and loving terminology to manifest an unfavorable environment for malicious mischief? This inspired some interesting discussion on BT and also on DK, but eventually became a swamp for flame wars on DK and finally a DK administrator PM’d me to remove the diary altogether, which I did.
Mainly I’ve found that on the internet people easily become polarized. Even on a liberal/progressive website, people eventually gravitate towards opposite ends of the spectrum even if the spectrum is really tiny such as one person we all know and love having a really bad day and exhibiting unacceptable behavior which includes using abusive language.
The other problem with resting on anonymous political affiliation as the foundation for community is that people’s political position can shift from day to day based on external events or internal struggles, and even these subtle shifts act as earthquakes and tsunamis in a community that rests on political affiliation vs. a standard of behavior that manifests in the rule of courtesy.
I don’t think we need to reinvent courtesy. We are all hard-wired for language at birth and courtesy is not an ambiguous concept so it is not a stretch to require that we all be courteous to one another in our use of language. We also have to bear in mind that no one is perfect and everyone can have a bad day and get carried away with themselves. Everyone. So here is where we introduce the concept of forgiveness and allow people time to find their own emotional balance and absorb whatever input they are receiving to apply in their own way to their own personal growth.
And speaking of gratitude I must express my gratitude to dozens of users of this community who have supported me and responded to me in positive ways and who have given me encouragement and helped me believe in myself when I was up against some serious life struggles. Thank you, thank you!
So I hope we can all stick together and weather this recent meltdown… we all know there is much more at stake than these little dustups that are easily gotten over and will hopefully soon be forgotten so that we can continue to be a force for good in this world. Again I say that my CTS has forced me to get some perspective on the role of computers in my life and how I use my free time and what qualifies to me as “socializing.” So if you need to take a break and get some perspective that is a good thing but please don’t abandon the camaraderie that we have built here! We need you!
Oh yes, and please let me add that I know I have been jerk at times and I apologize for those times when I have slipped and ask for and thank you in advance for your generous forgiveness.
—
I’ve never understood why people use fake names on sites such as this. My name is Douglas Harold Watts. I live in Augusta, Maine. I was born on July 18, 1964 in Brockton, Massachusetts. My phone number is 207-622-1003.
Boy, that was really tough to say — not.
I will never understand why people don’t just use their real names.
What’s the big deal?
What are people afraid of?
Doug,
I have used the same screen name every since I got my first computer but many people know my real name- Steve Whichard- and it is easy as hell to find on the net. There are some people in the blogging community who can not post their true identity as it could cost them their jobs or lively hood and that is a big deal.
But this is my real name.
I use a screen name because I don’t want to be pre-judged; it’s interesting to see the varying reactions. It’s also very comfortable to discuss issues in a (supposedly) bias-free environment. I also have two employers (who use my name in advertising) who might be concerned about my “extreme” political views.
I do agree that trolls should be ignored. I’ve occasionally been so bored I’ve looked at the hidden comments on other sites. Not worth the electrons or the storage space! Spending time on people like that isn’t productive.
And don’t let a surgeon touch that carpal tunnel. Two weeks of sleeping in a hand brace, and an “ergo” keyboard 🙂
I’m with you as far a surgery and its been a challenge getting the medical community (I have to deal with them since I’m on Worker’s Com) to recognize physical therapy as a viable intervention IN PLACE OF surgery vs. after having had surgery. Fundamentally most doctors are Capitalists before they are healers.
In our neck of the woods we found an amazing doctor–a surgeon who treated my son’s pressure sore for a year without pushing surgery. (It healed, despite MRSA and despite all medical evidence to the contrary.) I’ve also got an old friend, ortho surgeon, who believes carpal tunnel syndrome surgery is very much over-done and seldom successful.
Your comment says more about the state of American medicine than you can imagine…but that’s another diary. Be well.
A case in point…. at the place where I am having PT I saw someone come in with the most horrendous and tragic scar you can imagine from CTS surgery. It still makes me feel queasy to think of it and what they are putting this poor man through who doesn’t have good English skills and is defenseless.
Hey Doug, Very good question and I have to fess up that I use a screen name because I am a teensy bit paranoid. I know some prospective employers (and I seem to change jobs a lot) google prospective employees and many would consider my politics to be extreme (though I don’t) and that could lose me a job. Secondly, I actually had an experience where a psychotic person (one of my younger sister’s rejected lovers) googled me (under my maiden name even) and found me since I am published and have attended academic conferences, etc. He proceeded to post a series of very nasty, ugly, and vicious slander about me all around the internet and I went through a long hassle just to find out that it’s just about impossible to get that sort of thing removed. Anway, IRL many of my friends and even business associates know that I am mythmother since I give them my yahoo email. I think one of the things that gave the recent meltdown some extra added spin is that some of the people who were having disagreements knew each other IRL and that was making for a very ambiguous situation where the rules of acceptable behavior became blurred and it became easier to kick things up to the level of personal grievances.
I used to feel the same way and always used my real name: until the day when the wingnut published my address and said he and his buddies were coming after me with guns.
Yikes!!!!!!!!!!
I appreciate your forthrightness and openness in posting this information but PLEASE REMOVE IT IMMEDIATELY.
I certainly don’t wish you any harm and I hope no other BT member does. But this information is out there for ANYONE to see, not just BT members.
Besides spam, advertising and other harmless but annoying attention, you are putting yourself at risk to the nuts out there. And it is not just you.
Within 1 minute I was able not only to find your current address but also who some of your relatives are (A and M Watts), 2 other cities you’ve lived in Maine, one other one in Massachusetts and your property records. That was for free. If I chose to pay 30 bucks I could get every public record on you under the sun (including where you bank).
From there it’s fairly easy to get social security numbers and then proceed to steal your identity. And that’s just crimes of profit. There is no sense in adding in crimes of hate where wackos harass people for no reason.
PLEASE DO NOT POST so much personal information about yourself. I’m glad you’re free to be you though 🙂
Pax
See my other comment below.
You apparently live in a house with a woman who is the registered owner of your property (L). The house was purchased on July 29, 2006. It is a two-story house with a gable roof. The outside paint appears to be rust-colored red. You use oil for heating, etc, etc. The road you live on is fairly steep. If you walk out of your house, to the right is the downslope. There is a sign right there advertising the junction of two state roads.
Are you getting the picture yet? Please remove your personal information. This cost me $0 to find out.
I am going to put the link here so you will please take me seriously when I say you are exposing not just yourself but putting others at risk too!
Pax
I respect your concern, and agree w/ your assesment, but this is out of line…
I’m going to “0” your comments and hope others follow suit, so they disappear…this only increases the the potential for mischief
there are better ways to handle this.
peace
I didn’t provide any identifying material whatsoever that could be used or make any sense whatsoever without the original information posted by the user.
Give me a break. I’m far too careful. Even the link to the photo cannot be traced to a location without the information HE posted.
It’s time to remove ALL of the information once and for all IMMEDIATELY.
Pax
We will get through this Mythmother. Keep the faith.
You betcher, rf69!
I hope your wrists are healing. Thanks for the healing words.
Fran Martone
Thanks for the healing wishes! My hands are getting so much better I am really encouraged!
But I am still being very careful….
if this is why the Republicans ultimately win. We all have similar ends — namely a return to sanity in this country — but we disagree on the means, sometimes violently. But the Republicans seem to either agree on the means to their ends, or they quash dissent amongst their ranks. (Although the parade of Republicans coming out against “the surge” shows there may be some cracks in the dam.)
I’m still trying to figure out what all the foofraw was about — been dealing with a lot of Real Life shit around here. Perhaps we’ll all come out of this older, wiser and stronger…
Take care of yourself…
Love,
Roberta Kelm
Hey, CS! I don’t hang around much on Republican websites but sometimes people have written diaries about the meltdowns that go on there so I know they happen and I know they can get just as nasty as we can amongst ourselves on rare occasions. IMHO one of the things that makes it harder for us is that the boundaries are not so clearly drawn and the talking points aren’t so rigidly laid out, so this calls for more tolerance and I think generally liberals are more tolerant — with a few key exceptions — especially on this forum.
I also think there is a tremendous amount of confusion for everyone right now because the current administration is psychotic and it is putting many people in completely false positions and undermining their integrity just so they can make a living and go on with their daily lives. There are no easy answers.
But we are all sisters and brothers and in my experience families can have some pretty nasty fights and still make up and put it all behind them and go forward loving and supporting each other like gangbusters. IMHO, if people couldn’t forget their differences and their squabbles, the concepts of “family” and “community” would have no basis in reality.
Thank you mythmother for saying this. I’d like to suggest that, if nothing else changes, then at least the term “don’t be a prick” in the FAQ should be a link to this diary.
LOL! That’s an interesting suggestion CT! It seems to me that rules are made to be broken — at least I think I heard that somewhere (as being particularly true of the French BTW who love to make rules and love to break them… LOL), so I’m not sure that changing the rules would forestall the occasional meltdown. I know there have been times when I have been an emotional wreck feeling beat up by life and then have a glass of wine (or two!) and start typing into my computer and that’s when I seem to leave myself wide open to being misunderstood and possibly even verbally attacked (if on DK). It’s been a learning process for me to stay away from the computer at those times.
Yes, we love to make rules. For example, we made the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen
Beautiful photo, thank you! I was really just kidding so please do not take anything I said personally. I really love the French in every way.
Oh yes and BTW have devoted years to the study of French language and literature plus profoundly enjoyed 3 visits to France.