This is the place to be: A Whose-Who of Family Values Thespians fronting a D.C. hotel filled with K-Street whores — and that’s just the wing of the hotel filled with lobbyist; you should see the girls that former CIA Director Porter J. Goss is bringing along!

Look at this stunning lineup for the 34th Annual Conservative Political Action Conference:

Vice President Dick Cheney – Sean Hannity – Senator Mitch McConnell – Ann Coulter – Tom Delay – Michelle Malkin – David Horowitz – Congressman Mike Pence – Newt Gingrich – Phyllis Schlafly – Wayne LaPierre – and many more!


McCain Irritates Conservative Convention Organizers
This is a big to-do over nothing. So what! John McCain rents a hospitality suit in the hotel at the grand Poo-Bah Convention of Conservatism in D.C. but he will not be speaking [He probably didn’t want to appear on the same set with Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter — can you blame him?]. This is “going around behind [their] backs” to establish a presence at the convention?  Truth be known, they probably seized upon this opportunity of McCain’s avoidance, viewing it as an instance of his apparently incessant “disrespect,” because, otherwise, no one would have known there was an upcoming gathering of thespian right-wing theo-cons and Administration neo-cons — all wizards of propaganda and spin come to feast on each other at this self-congratulatory church picnic. That is, no one would have known without generating this faux-controversy.  I mean, come on! This is the Washington Times, folks.

If you go down to the woods today
You’re in for a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today
You’d better go in disguise.

For every bear that ever there was
Is sure to gather there because
Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

But even more, the probable cause of this attack is that all these money grubbers, sooth-sayers, back-pocket-padders-cum-panderers remember: The McCain-Feingold Act that went after their happy ass.

I have really come to despise McCain — after all, if he is so dead set against the soft money that is currupting republican democracy, why is he pandering behind the scenes? I know, he just wants to shake their hands, kiss their babies and get them to promise to vote for him. They can keep their money: Dudley Do-Right of the Mounties will be his campaign manager this go-round and he’ll be kissing his horse at photo-ops instead of George Bush.

Or is he grandstanding his position, flaunting campaign reform under their noses? The hotel will be full of Republican PAC Mules for this rodeo and the press will be hounding the AIPAC and the ARA and every other PAC Politico within ten blocks of Chase and City Bank. A smirking McCain, meeting Russ Feingold in the hotel’s piano bar for a lemonade would make for some interesting press. Now, wouldn’t that all be interesting?

Otherwise, notwithstanding his secretive attempts at pandering while the other hotel guests engage themselves in hotfooted hyperbolical hypocrisy, to be fair to John McCain this looks like the kind of dirty work reminiscent of Karl Rove. Insiders revealed early last year that the Rove-directed political machine intends to go after McCain if he even sticks his campaign-reforming little head up Kilroy style to peak at the 2008 campaign.

I think John Dean even discussed it in his recent book, “Conservatives Without Conscience.” Or perhaps it was at his blog at FindLaw. Their prospective groom at the time was former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist of Tennessee.  They were even circulating stories about the Frist family yardman [implied to be black, of course] having a prophetic vision on the porch of the Frist mansion [I’m sure it sports those tall White fluted Freudian Doric columns of the ante-bellum South]. The vision purportedly concerned Baby Billy’s messianic future as president. Prior to the 2006 Nationals, however, Frist quietly withdrew from 2008 contention, some say in a bid to escape the scrutiny of the corruption police.  

On second thought, I suppose it must have been revealed that the yardman was holding the wrong baby – The heavenly vision must have occurred at the Gore farm!

Personally, I’m going to stop doing their work for them. They get paid enough to swift-boat McCain without my help.

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