Sen. Inhofe In His Own Words

Let’s play a little game. First, let’s look at remarks Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe made at this weekend’s Conservative Political Action Conference.

Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-Okla.) got the crowd cheering early in the day. “I have been called — my kids are all aware of this — dumb, crazy man, science abuser, Holocaust denier, villain of the month, hate-filled, warmonger, Neanderthal, Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun,” he announced. “And I can just tell you that I wear some of those titles proudly.”

Ok. Here is our task. We need to figure out which of these terms (plural) Senator Inhofe is proud to self-identify with.

From the top:

Dumb: is he proud to be dumb? No one is proud to be dumb. Let’s cross this off the list.

Crazy man: is he proud to be considered crazy? No one is proud to be thought of as crazy. Unless you really are crazy…Let’s cross this off the list.

Science abuser: some people are proud to abuse science. They’re called extreme religious fundamentalists. Let’s keep this one on the list.

Holocaust denier: some people are proud to be called a Holocaust denier. They’re called Nazis and Nazi sympathizers.. Let’s keep this one on the list.

Villain of the month: no one is proud to be elected villain of the month. Well, except for sociopaths. Let’s keep this one in limbo.

Hate-filled: Let’s see…no…let’s cross this one off the list.

Warmonger: can you be proud to be a warmonger. This Inhofe guy is starting to make me question my basic faith in humanity. But, let’s cross this one off the list.

Neanderthal: can one be proud to be considered a Neanderthal? I don’t think so. Let’s cross this one off the list.

Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun: yeah, let’s take these together. Is anyone proud to be compared to these ruthless warriors? Anyone sane? No. Let’s cross them off the list.

Ok. Now that our little game in completed we can use the process of elimination to determine which terms Senator Inhofe is actually proud to be associated with. Do you know what terms those are? No? Okay, I’ll tell you.

Senator Inhofe is proud to be considered a Holocaust denier and a science abuser. We’re agnostic about whether he really relishes the Villain of the Month moniker.

And I want to remind everyone here that I came to this conclusion by repeatedly giving Mr. Inhofe the benefit of the doubt.