Will is the Pope of KABOBFest, which is an Arab-American site focused on all things Middle East, including American politics, not so strangely enough. Satire is his specialty and it was just not possible to pass up this funny piece about the Wolfowicz scandal. So just when is it best to kick a man? When he’s down, right. Well, this one does so in a humorous way. Thanks, Will for the permission to crosspost.
Wolfowitz’s Arab Fetish Comes Back to Bite Him in the ASS – AGAIN
You would think that after the whole Iraq debacle, Neo-Con/Player-For-Real Paul Wolfowitz would learn that fetishizing Arabs, whether women or nations, is bad news.
Just as his Lawrence-of-Arabiaesque notions about liberating the Arab world ultimately cost him major credibility points in DC, and possibly his post in the government, his well-known love affair with Shaha Riza is now landing Mr. Romance Pants in the hot seat.
Riza was a World Bank employee until shortly after Wolfie took over. The ethics rules at the Bank preclude personal relations between superiors and their underlings. She she was “transferred” to the State Department, yet stayed on the WB’s payroll — to the tune of $193,000 a year. Not bad, though I would need twice that to bed Wolfie.
Riza is a product of pan-Arab genetic pool. She was born in Tripoli, Libya, to a Libyan father and Syrian – Saudi mother. She is also a self-described feminist. So you know she didn’t take shit from him. She was probably all about pushing his ass to get her the raise. Wolfowitz probably did not know what he was getting his ass into when he got with this strong Arab woman. In one of his statements, he might have hinted at this: “Not only was this a painful personal dilemma, but I also had to deal with it when I was new to this institution, and I was trying to navigate uncharted waters.” Could “uncharted waters” be a relationship with a strong Arabiyya?
Luckily, KABOBfest investigative report/stalker Chaim Sugarman happened to obtain transcripts of a Wolfowitz-Riza intimate phone exchange after all their other colleagues got off a conference call:
WOLFOWITZ: I see it’s just you and me left on the call… huh? So Shaha, what are you wearing?
RIZA: Your favorite…
WOLFOWITZ: Your birthday suit? heh heh
RIZA: No, my birthday is in two months…
WOLFOWITZ: It’s a… nevermind… You’ve been a bad little Arab haven’t you?!? I know what you want, don’t I?
RIZA: Yeah, u do baby, how can I forget?? Daddy knows best…
WOLFOWITZ: Say it… yeah… whisper it. Tell me what you need…
RIZA: Oh, give me democracy… I need it… I love it… I want it. Democracy!!
WOLFOWITZ: Yes! Yes! (panting heavily) And what else?!??!?
RIZA: Freedom!!
WOLFOWITZ: Eeeewwwwww… you dirty little Arab. (panting) You make daddy proud… and an election… don’t forget my election.
RIZA: Yes daddy, you know I want your big American election…
WOLFOWITZ: Whoa Nelly! I’m coming home. The Gipper has landed… yes, yes… (sighs). OK. Time to go. I’ll see you back at the Bank.
RIZA: That’s right. And you better get me that raise we talked about. Y’allah bye.
Posted by Will
