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Head of God

I have been having tiffs with my daughter all morning. She’s five. She doesn’t understand why the rules are different for her than they are for me. Like why I’m allowed to have beverages in the living room (the coffee goes everywhere I do) and she isn’t. This morning I even resorted to the dreaded, “Because I said so.” I swore I’d never do that. Drove me nuts when I was a kid. But what can I say? Her hands are very small and she spills things. But she’s at that age; testing limits like mad. And some things just can’t be justified to her tiny, five-year-old brain. So I understand exactly how Paul Wolfowitz feels.

Everything about the Bush Administration makes perfect sense if you understand that they are the parents, while we — and by “we” I mean the entire rest of the world — are the children. So Paul explained to the World Bank investigating committee that he had to give Shaha everything she asked for because he’s pussy-whipped. The committee just simply needs to understand that there are things that happen between a mommy and a daddy that are private and that the children really don’t need to know about. That’s what locks on bedroom doors are for. His mistake, if anything, was in not making sure the door was securely locked.
There are larger considerations here that have to do with the importance of the Bush Administration’s unhampered ability to parent and protect the world.

The officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the matter, said some board members hope a strong statement of dissatisfaction would persuade the Bush administration to withdraw support for Wolfowitz. But the White House views the stakes as larger than control of the World Bank, said a senior administration official, with U.S. resolve and power on the line — in particular the longstanding right of the United States to name the head of the institution. [emphasis added]

In an interview with Fox News, Vice President Cheney called Wolfowitz “a very good president of the World Bank,” adding, “I hope he will be able to continue.”

See, Vice Daddy Cheney has faith in him. That’s all we need to know.

It’s like Daddy-hopeful Fred Thompson explained recently:

The principles you have been defending since 1981. For Americans, these are found in the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. They include a recognition of God and the fact there are certain rights that come from Him and not the government.

Which is why it’s so unfortunate that Scooter Libby was prosecuted for perjury:

The other man is in a less lofty position. After years of sacrifice and service to his country, he sits at home with his wife and two children awaiting a prison sentence. His name is Scooter Libby.

I didn’t know Scooter Libby, but I did know something about this intersection of law, politics, special counsels and intelligence. And it was obvious to me that what was happening was not right. So I called him to see what I could do to help, and along the way we became friends. You know the rest of the story: a D.C. jury convicted him. . . . I have called for a pardon for Scooter Libby.

Now, yes, on the surface, this looks like a contradiction. That’s why lesser minds like Glenn Greenwald are confused by Thompson’s speech. But all we really need to know is that the law issues from God, and God said: “Honor thy father and mother.” See? Simple. That’s why Uncle Scooter’s unfair prosecution has become a rallying cry for all those Daddy-hopefuls, and why he will never see the inside of a jail cell.

It’s like with Alberto Gonzales:

At a hearing last week before the House Judiciary Committee, he evaded precise answers and professed a poor memory, while insisting that the decision to sack the prosecutors was utterly sound. The apparent administration hope is that by denying and stonewalling, Gonzales can not only save his job but eventually exhaust all interest in the matter.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve tried that. Word to the wise, though, if Congress is anything like my daughter, they can wear you down. Mind like a steel trap, my daughter, and when she sets it on, let’s say, ice cream… relentless. Let’s hope for poor Alberto’s sake that “object permanence” is not as thoroughly developed in John Conyers as it is in my daughter.

Think of Alberto as a teen-aged son; all be it an adopted one. He’s a good son. He keeps the younger kiddies in line, and protects the family. That’s how it’s supposed to be… because… because I said so.

“Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.” — Daddy-Hopeful Rudolph Guliani.

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