I actually fell asleep last night during Keith Olbermann and I woke up in the middle of the night to find Hardball with Chris Matthews on my teevee. There was a panel with Eugene Robinson, Wonkette, and some loser GOP bastard (strictly third-string) that I had never seen before. The topic of Fred Thompson came up and it quickly got very disturbing. I figured I’d write about it, but I didn’t have the transcript.

Fortunately, Greenwald has the relevant part.

MATTHEWS: Does [Fred Thompson] have sex appeal? I’m looking at this guy and I’m trying to find out the new order of things, and what works for women and what doesn’t. Does this guy have some sort of thing going for him that I should notice? . . .

Gene, do you think there’s a sex appeal for this guy, this sort of mature, older man, you know? He looks sort of seasoned and in charge of himself. What is this appeal? Because I keep star quality. You were throwing the word out, shining star, Ana Marie, before I checked you on it. . . .

Can you smell the English leather on this guy, the Aqua Velva, the sort of mature man’s shaving cream, or whatever, you know, after he shaved? Do you smell that sort of — a little bit of cigar smoke? You know, whatever.

You know, whatever.

I really don’t understand this mancrush thing that Chris Matthews and other pundits like Maureen Dowd have for Daddy. It’s like they are living their lives in an episode of Dennis the Menace, or something. They want a president that comes home, puts on a smoking jacket, sits in special lounger chair, opens the paper, lights his pipe, and ignores his frigging kids while he blottos out on well-aged Scotch. Maybe he will suffer five minutes for his son or daughter to sit on his lap and take in his manly aroma, and then it’s off the bed with you.

Maybe I just didn’t have this kind of relationship with my Dad. We played chess and crazy eights, and I thought his cigars smelled bad. Nothing against my father but I have never considered his scent when pondering the electability of a politican.

Matthews wants a president that smells manly. What the hell? I want a president that knows what to do in an emergency and that doesn’t violate the law.

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