I don’t really want to bring this up again but I do want to set the record straight. Back in February we had a major disruption in the peaceful Frog Pond when I got upset with a member for discussing my private life. Many members of the community were angry about the behavior of MilitaryTracy and wanted me to ban her from the site. A theory was offered that I was showing leniency to Tracy because she is friends with my girlfriend. You can see the beginning of the problem here.

I don’t want to rehash all of this. For those of you that followed the controversy, here is all you need to know.

A member named spiderleaf linked to a picture of me and my girlfriend and said that it explained why I wasn’t banning Tracy. I asked her when she first learned we were dating and why she thought it was appropriate to discuss my private life. She said she had just recently learned about us from looking at the picture. I knew she was lying and I accused her of discussing our relationship with catnip months before. She denied it and called me a liar. Many people, not knowing the details didn’t believe I was being fair in my angry reaction. I don’t take kindly to people lying to me, calling me a liar, and invading my privacy.

Now the truth has come out. In the comments at the paparazzi site MoBettaMeta, spiderleaf makes a confession.

And catnip, I don’t do blackmail as your email to me just tried.

Yes, I told you I thought / heard that CG and Martin were dating way back in the day. It was just a rumour and I had no proof, but I suspected as did others.

I had forgotten about it when I was talking to Martin on BooTrib, but I did. I certainly didn’t think I was the only one as you had indicated others had, but I did. I found out somehow around yearlykos and it didn’t become an issue until they both enabled MilitaryTracy’s hate speech.

It wasn’t malicious on my part, I was trying to defend you from the “I just threw up” image Martin posted in response to CG questioning your buddhist
credentials.

So everyone, I apologize for telling catnip and not admiting it to Martin when he was harrassing me over here. Martin, I don’t apologize for trying to stop Tracy from being abusive and your enabling her behaviour. Life is full of lessons and I’ve grown a lot from my experiences online these last few years.

There catnip, you have nothing to hold over my head any more.
spiderleaf | 06.26.07 – 1:42 pm | #

This was confirmed by catnip shortly thereafter in a private email (that I won’t cite). In defense of catnip, she pointedly never denied that spiderleaf had told her about my relationship, but merely insisted I had no way of knowing for sure.

As for spiderleaf, she is still lying. She knew about my relationship for certain because she discussed it with people that knew us and had hung out with us. She should just come all the way clean, since she has already confessed to quite enough. Holding back just keeps her from a clean slate.

I’m not going to get into a lot more detail here, because my only interest is in all the people that were part of this controversy knowing that I was right at the time and that I told the truth throughout the whole sad episode.

For the record, MilitaryTracy is a friend of mine and any leniency I showed her was a result of my own feelings for her, not in deference to anyone else. I ultimately convinced Tracy to ban herself and cut off her privileges to help her keep her promise. For people that thought I handled it badly, I probably did, but I was actually distracted by what I considered to be a trollish attack on my personal life and my character that had arisen in the same thread.

And that, I hope, is the end of this damaging episode.

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