Vice President Dick Cheney exits his limousine after a private showing of the new Harry Potter movie “Order of the Phoenix”
Washington, DC (APE) – Daily activities around a Washington, DC Megaplex ground to a halt late yesterday afternoon as the vice president and his security contingent swooped in for an unannounced visit and the vice president took time out from his busy schedule to enjoy the latest Harry Potter film. Disgruntled moviegoers were forced to accept refunds or tickets for alternative shows as the entire complex was shut down by the Secret Service for over three hours.
Mr. Cheney is reportedly a silent but avid fan of author JK Rowling’s immensely popular series of children’s books, and he yesterday apparently succumbed like other fans worldwide to the urge to view Hollywood’s latest movie offering.
“I would tend to disagree with many in our conservative religious base who feel that there is something evil or satanic about these stories and characters,” stated Mr. Cheney. “For God sakes, they celebrate Christmas and Halloween just like anyone else in the books. On the contrary, there are many valuable lessons for America’s youth in regards to fear, loyalty, the effective use of power, and the importance of keeping secrets that are stressed throughout the books and movies.”
Over identification with fictional characters “a waste of time” according to Vice President
“Of course you are going to have people out there who tend to get a little fanatical, and go overboard on some of these things,” countered Cheney. “Dressing as your favorite character, or spending any time at all imagining you’re Harry Potter, let’s say, is a little frivolous and a waste of time.”
Reporters present then asked the vice president if he was planning on reading the final installment of the seven book series when it is released on the 21st and what he thought would happen to the boy wizard in the end.
“I’ll have to say that Ms. Rowling has been a real trooper, and the ending that she came up with after working very closely with us on our suggested revisions is overall outstanding.” concluded Cheney. “I’m afraid that I’ll have to claim executive privilege for now as to the final outcome, but let’s just say that I’m very satisfied with what finally happens to Mr. Potter.”