I was reading through the news today and I came across a picture of Hillary and Bill Clinton. It was at that moment that it struck me, I don’t like her. I have never met this woman and my dislike does not go to the personal level, it is to the level that we as Americans share with our public figures. For some strange reason we recognize someone from the media, no matter how minor a personality and we feel like we know them or we make generalizations about them. Now I truly believe that Hillary is a nice person and firmly believes in her convictions. I believe that she is more principled than her husband, Bill whom I like. But there was something in the picture that just didn’t seem right; I can’t place my finger on it.
    This feeling has been building for a couple of years, when it was obvious that she would make a run at the Presidency. It’s weird because I was one of those who believed that when her husband was president that she would make a better president than he would. However, since that time something has changed. I don’t know if it is me, the country, or Hillary; but something is different. It’s like when you go away to college and come home to your old room. It looks the same, but something is different about it. I get a similar feeling with Hillary, she looks the same but there’s something different about her.

    For some reason and it may just be me, she seems too desperate for this. She’s like the guy at the end of the night at the bar who has struck out with almost every girl there, but he wants just one more chance to redeem himself, his honor. That guy will do and say anything it takes to accomplish his mission. Hillary has been preparing for this for a long time, I suspect from when she was in college she has had this dream. I believe that since marrying Bill she has been positioning herself for this run. That is a long time to always say the right the thing, look the right way. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with wanting to pursue a dream and doing those things to make it happen. I admire tenacity in people and I admire the struggles Hillary has had to deal with. God knows to have your marriage disintegrate in front of a whole nation and you having to hold it together publically. The Right-Wing personal attacks that she has had to endure, it is one thing to attack someone politics, it is another to attack them personally. Truth be told, after we wipe away all the facades all we have is ourselves.

    I think for me, my concern is that when you pursue a singleness of purpose for so long, it begins to shape you and mold you into what it will take to accomplish it. At some point leaving behind the person you once were and becoming that persona. It’s never drastic. Always honing you a little bit at a time until you are no longer the once principled believer, but now the polished and scripted politician. No longer the maverick willing to take chances, you become unwilling to take any risk. You speak only the well-crafted lines written for you. It’s like when I was a kid, I wanted to be the best basketball player I could be, I would practice all day long trying to hone my skills. On the surface this seems like a worthy goal with no harm to others or myself, except there were consequences. You see I had a friend who I loved and I would spend a lot of time with her, but as I tried to achieve my goal she became less important. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to stop spending time with her; it just started happening a little each day. Finally, we hardly saw any of each other, I was achieving my dream, but at what cost. Because of this pursuit I was changed, my beliefs were changed. I stopped being me and I became my dream.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that pursuing our dreams does not make us good people or bad people, but that in the pursuit we are changed. Is Hillary the same person she was before this pursuit? I doubt it, but has she changed so much that she will forget the person before? This is the question that is giving me so much trouble. Do I think Hillary would make a better president than George Bush? Without a doubt, but I think that just about anyone can meet that standard. Is she the best that we can do to stand up for the principles that have been trampled down the last 7 years, to unify this nation and heal this nation? Hillary is a divisive figure. Many people see her and they either love her or they hate her, there isn’t a lot of middle ground. We are going to be dealing with the aftermath of these current clowns for years to come both domestically and internationally and I don’t know if such a polarizing figure will add to the healing process.

    I would support Senator Obama, if I thought he had a snowballs chance in hell of winning. He is a unifying figure and I believe that he could go a long way to healing this nation not only of these recent debacles but previous ones as well, but this is a different story.

    Hillary reminds me of that girl in school, who just tried too hard to be popular. You know the one, she was nice enough, but after awhile she started getting on your nerves. You just hoped that she would just stop trying so hard and just be herself. You knew people would like her if she only gave them a chance. Hillary is suffering from the fallout of her years in the White House as the right wing poster girl for liberal politics. They have affected her psyche; she has a chip on her shoulder. After these guys, do we really want someone coming in with a chip on their shoulder? It is hard for women, minorities, and progressive thinkers not to look at Hillary and want to see their aspirations for this country played out through her campaign and possible election, but frothy emotional appeals will not correct the many things that are wrong today. There are no moral victories in politics, either you win or you go home. Hillary cannot be all things to all people. She should stick to who she is, if she can remember and present that.

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie — deliberate, contrived and dishonest — but the myth — persistent, persuasive and unrealistic – John F. Kennedy

The Disputed Truth

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