Not long ago I wrote an article on the loss of civility in our society. While I originally thought that it was confined primarily to the political spectrum, I now realize that I was wrong. The more time I spend reading netroots the more I am convinced that the majority of people today don’t want civility. Maybe I am too idealistic, but I had assumed that in the progressive blogosphere that people of differing opinions could come together and “discuss” their differences in a constructive way. This doesn’t appear to be the case.
I am finding basically two schools of posts, that’s it. Either there are the echo chambers where everyone is in agreement and there can be no idea contrary to the prevailing opinion or writer or there is the flame wars where any idea contrary to popular opinion is not only met with disagreement, but derision. Aren’ t these the behaviors we ascribe to the far right as being intolerant and bigoted? Whatever happened to the art of polite discussion of issues, even with those that are contrary to your own? It seems like the more I read the more I am convinced that it isn’t even about the issues anymore. It’s something deeper.
For some reason today any comment that is not in-line with the status quo is not only incorrect, but it is the most asinine comment in the history of blogging and the writer is not only wrong, but he/she is the spawn of the devil. I post on many different sites and on many different subjects, but these attitudes are prevalent on a great many sites. On some sites this behavior is encouraged by the moderators and on some there is an effort by the moderators to curb this behavior. It’s as if there is this attitude of how dare anyone question my (fill in the blank); here are a few of my favorites:
1) My reason to feel the way I do
2) My blackness
3) My whiteness
4) My upbringing
5) My opinion
6) My facts
7) My reality
8) My neighborhood
9) My pedigree
10) My education
And the list is endless. It’s as if to question one’s opinion is tantamount to calling them a murderer or pedophile. Why is it that everything is so personal? Not only is my opinion attacked but who and what I am is attacked with a viciousness that I have never seen before. I have an idea that because the medium we use is so anonymous and so impersonal, there are those who believe that anything is permissible. Because you are interacting with a machine and in the comfort of your own home or office behavior that one would never think of doing in person is now ok. Why be polite, they don’t know me and I will probably never meet them; so f–k em!
I also believe that our society as a whole has become less civil and less tolerant. Someone is no longer wrong; they are the stupidest person on the face of the earth. It’s like everything is in extreme mode. I mentioned this on one of the larger blogs and the message was toughen up, you’re being too sensitive. I’m sorry I always preferred polite discourse to yelling and screaming profanities, but call me a wimp. I just know that the negotiations become real difficult once you have called your adversary f–king idiot. You kind of take the wiggle room out of any future discussions.
Let’s face it none of us likes to be attacked and none of us likes to be told we’re stupid. The majority of people that post to the progressive sites really have similar concerns and ideas, how they want to implement them is the real issue. I understand that this is not a tea party and that there is going to be disagreement, that is important. But I also think that just as important is we recognize that we share a lot of common ideas and goals and instead of looking for reasons to be understood maybe I can try to understand. No one has my history or experiences, but that doesn’t mean they can’t empathize with what I am going through. Fortunately I have never lost a limb, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel for the guy that has. Do I know exactly what he is going through? No, but I understand pain, frustration, and disappointment and I can offer him my genuine care and concern. Now if he chooses to call these disingenuous, I am not responsible for that. This is their baggage that they have to carry. I won’t allow anyone else to put their crap on me. I have never gotten full eating off of another person’s plate. I have enough on my plate to keep me busy.
I don’t know if this level of discourse is good or bad and I am not here to judge. But it is hard to hear when someone is yelling obscenities at you and it is hard to speak when no one is listening.
I don’t never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks’ straight is what bothers me.
– Josh Billings
