Apparently the Department of Homeland Security is breaking in a new program in Florida airports where trained observers are watching for facial expressions and body language on passengers showing signs of disgust and aggravation. This is a new method for identifying potential terrorists on flights and it goes up there with larger than 3 oz shampoo bottles and removal of shoes.
What I’d like to know is, given our current practices in airport security, who doesn’t look aggravated or disgusted after waiting in hours of lines, being searched and re-searched, semi-stripping and shoe removal, etc.? I know I do… and now, if I fly out of Florida, I’m just as likely to be picked as a potential terrorist.
I probably look thirsty because I can’t carry a decent=sized water bottle while I’m waiting in a hot line. That’s aggravating enough. Couple that with the decline in service (which the new Virgin USA has spotted as a competitive weak point in our air carriers) at the airport and we’re going to be discovering terrorists everywhere.
I imagine after not having a cigarette for several hours these new IR facial scanners could pick me out of a crowd in seconds.
just ask jose padilla…
clik to enlarge
shown here surrounded by lesser federal borg…he and his two co-defendants were convicted today…another glorius victory in the gwot by our fearless leader.
lTMF’sA
What I wanna know, is why a couple of white lesbians (my partner and I, one American and one Australian) seem to always get pulled aside for the extra special bag search, or, my favorite, the explosive residue swab check. I don’t think we look disgruntled, or angry, or even remotely threatening – unless you find women in comfortable shoes threatening (which clearly, some men do).
I swear, I’ve never worn my Ladies Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society T-shirt while flying.
But you see they KNOW you’re a member, even if you’re not wearing the colors…..
(You have to know these things when you’re a king…)
It must be the emergency thimble I always carry, that gives me away (btw, it makes a great “shot glass” for those airplane sized drink bottles).
Maybe it’s too late at night here, or maybe I’ve just been doing paperwork too much today, but that is a truly hilarious visual.
Thank you. I needed that.
I’m always happy to inject a little surreality into someone’s day.
(ps. I’ve always loved your sig line – any chance of you italicizing it to make like easier on the dyslexics?)
Sure thing… if this works.
Que bueno!