I’ve seen people make up their mind on how to vote on something as simple as ‘he looks nice’ or ‘he’s got really great hair’. Seriously. There are a lot of really dumb people out there…and a lot more that are just completely disengaged. Candidates cannot get caught up in trying to appeal to such people. Yes, put on a nice shirt, get your teeth cleaned, get a haircut. Then, be done with it.

Karl Rove operated on a fairly simple theory. People really want to know three things about any candidate. First, are they strong? Do they look like natural leaders? Second, are they trustworthy? Do they mean what they say? And, third, do they care about people like me?

There was more to Rove’s playbook, including attacking your opponent’s strength and a toolbox of dirty tricks, but the essentials are in the three examples above. And they aren’t much different from any other consultant’s playbook.

Republicans loved it when John Kerry went windsurfing because they thought it made him look weak and effeminate. They loved it when he said that line about voting for the Iraq supplemental funding before he voted against it. Why? Because it made him look weak (like he didn’t stand for anything)…a flip-flopper who, therefore, couldn’t be trusted. And once you’re perceived as weak and untrustworthy…no one will ever believe you’ll effectively stick up for them.

Democrats need to understand that no swing voter is going to vote for them because they have the most comprehensive energy plan or the best education reforms. Swing voters want to see strength, conviction, and empathy.

The issues matter. They matter tremendously. But they are not the path to victory. The path to victory involves developing your positions and then advocating for them effectively…without apology.

If something isn’t on your agenda…just say so. Tell the American people that issue x is important but it’s not at the top of your priority list. Don’t tell people you’re going do something about their issue if you have no plans to do anything about it. “No, I don’t think I’ll be decriminalizing narcotics in my first term. Not high on my agenda.”

Here’s where our candidates get into trouble. If you don’t think you can get our troops out of Iraq in the next four years, don’t tell people that the first thing you will do as president is end the war. That’s a fucking lie. And once you start telling obvious lies, people no longer trust you.

Don’t plant questions for your audience to ask you. Do that once and no one is going to trust you. “Well…but the Republicans do it all the time.” Yeah…and you know what? The Republicans never apologize. They ask you if you want to get screwed again a little harder. That’s the particular form of strength the GOP prefers to display. Rules don’t apply to them. They’ll disenfranchise your ass if you so much as look at them sideways. People vote for that shit because the alternative is put your family’s safety in hands of a hand-wringing pansy-ass that tries to have it two ways on every issue and can’t seem to tell the truth.

Don’t let anyone tell you that Hillary Clinton, or any of these slag-bags we have running for president, are tough. They’re not tough at all. They’re nowhere near as tough as the people that stole the office of the presidency, invaded the Middle East, gutted the CIA, Justice Deparment, FEMA, and everything else they could get their hands on…tortured us, spied on us, told congress to go get fucked on their subpoenas and then forced them to ratify it all by confirming Mike Mukasey. No!!

None of our candidates are up for a game played on that level. Half of them have been hostages…repeatedly gang-raped in the Capitol Building over the past seven years. They don’t know what it means to display courage. Some, like Edwards, are going for their third pass and just beginning to show they understand it.

People want the truth. They really do. Not all of it. Not the parts that will make them feel stupid or complicit or as part of the problem. But they do want someone to speak plainly and truthfully about the issues that matter to them. And if the president’s been breaking the law…fuck ‘im’…we’ve thrown them out before.

You wanna know who’s trying to be a stand up guy? Chris Dodd. He’s trying to stand up and tell the truth and defend the little guy. But he’s gonna have to get a lot tougher if he wants to break through. Biden’s acting the part but his fucking plan for Iraq is like v.2.0 of Adolf Eichmann’s train schedule. Dreadful…no matter how unintentionally so.

Obama? The guy is like a see-saw. Great one moment, somnambulant the next. He’s gotta walk a fine line…but he can’t take any shit from anyone, especially Republicans. Most of all, he’s gotta convince Democratic primary voters that he will stick up to the Republicans. If there is one thing people know, it’s that Hillary has taken the best the right can dish out and she’s still standing. Of course, she’s still standing largely thanks to this:

DLA Piper $356,100
Goldman Sachs $350,050
Morgan Stanley $323,550
Citigroup Inc $307,350
EMILY’s List $211,642
National Amusements Inc $193,850
JP Morgan Chase & Co $173,350
Kirkland & Ellis (thank you Kenneth Starr) $172,000
Skadden, Arps et al $151,460
Greenberg Traurig LLP (Abramoff’s firm) $150,900
Cablevision Systems $135,113
Merrill Lynch $125,550
Time Warner $124,150
Lehman Brothers $123,450
Bear Stearns $120,580
Patton Boggs $118,400
Ernst & Young $110,650
Blank Rome LLP $105,100
Latham & Watkins $100,950
News Corp $99,350 (keep it coming, Murdoch)

But, what the hell…she is still standing. But who can trust Dick Morris the Clintons anymore? How is she going to stick up the little guy on a DLC platform?

There’s an art to the presidential race. So far, I haven’t seen any candidate in either party that knows how to do it. All I see is weakness and insufficiency.

Yet, someone’s got to win.

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