Wholly unremarkable, she is a thin, blonde forty something woman. Well, wholly unremarkable except for the too bright blonde-from-a-box hair. And her trademark clingy leggings that are perhaps a bit too clingy for her middle-aged thighs. And that she heads both the town division of the kid’s soccer league and the PTA. That’s where the problem began.
In addition to heading the local division, she actually coaches one of the teams. Her team has perenially been the subject of speculation. It seems that it has almost always had a winning lineup of young players, often many of the same ones from prior years. As such, her team always placed at or near the top of the final standings at the end of the season.
Now, there was a time where I thought myself alone in believing that the random system of player selection had been manipulated. As head of the local division, she would be in a position to put together her own roster. Given the record of her team’s successes, I felt that there was little doubt as to what had occurred. But my son, the 8 year old boran2 boy, a member of another team in our division, was having fun and that was paramount. I kept my thoughts to myself. However, as the season wore on I found that I not alone in my views. In fact, I found company in a small legion of other league parents. No one acted on these concerns.
The matter was subsequently brought into sharper focus when Madame boran had occasion to speak with the boran2 boy’s coach at a birthday party for the coach’s son. They chatted for some time and eventually came around to speaking about the soccer league. The subject of Ms.PTA’s team came up. It seemed that he too believed Ms.PTA had manipulated the roster to include many of the best kids in the league. It was his suggestion that she write anonymously to the sanctioning body to state these concerns. He had no intention of doing anything himself.
Upon discussing this with Madame boran, I indicated that I would be more than happy to write and sign such a letter, no need for anonymity. She was not comfortable with this. Madame boran does some volunteer work on the PTA website and has occasion to need input from Ms.PTA. Madame boran wanted to think it over. Subsequently, she stated that she preferred that I not write the letter.
Why did I bore you with this tale? What I take away from this story is that getting people truly motivated to change the functioning of our government would be difficult indeed when they won’t even call bullshit on a kid’s soccer league. Better just remain anonymous.
yeah, the world is screwed up like that.
Yeah, calling public bullshit moves most of us out of our comfort zones and sometimes can open a big window of personal vulnerability as well. There can certainly be a price for those actions. I suppose its a matter of personal conscience and ethics. Personally, I try to answer the question, “How important is it?” before choosing a battleground and maybe sticking my neck too far out. Regardless, these are often very tough personal questions.
On the other hand, I’ve run for and held local office for several terms now and that usually involves calling bullshit on someone else’s policies, ethics, what-have-you, while attempting to defend my own;-)
Yes indeedy boran2. I admire the wisdom of Madame boran. It’s important to know what you’ve got to lose before taking a risk, as well as what others are likely to lose.
Unfortunately, too often nowadays the question becomes “is it worth dying for?”
We have a similar lacrosse league here…There was a family where the brother’s best friends had married his sisters, and their kids all played lacrosse and the brother and friends coached…you can imagine how the teams were selected, despite their protestations to the contrary. I called it the lastname-lastname lacrosse mafia.
Like your situation, everyone knew it, but no one would come right out and call them on it. Eventually their kids got too old to play in the league, and they moved on. I’m sure someone else is doing the same thing now, although these guys had raised it to an art form.
The upside was that the really nasty spoiled kids all wound up on the same team, and not the one my kid was on.
Just wanted to add that it’s really pathetic that these same parents claim they want their kids to learn to be part of a team and be sportsmanlike from the experience, and then cherry-pick their winning team despite the rules and regulations against doing so…
BTW, Mrs.PTA’s team went undefeated this year.
Man, I’d say something, anonymously or not. I hate when people cheat.
It happens all over these days. My grandaughter’s basketball league(5th graders) is suppose to be randomly chosen too. Funny how the same girls wind up together every year then. Same with the soccer league too. It can only continue to happen if the parents allow it. Period.
I’m not very good at calling bullshit in situations like this either. But, I have found that it can be more effective in the long run to manipulate the bullshit out of the system, without directly calling out the bullshitter. This way you get the desired effect without (as much of) the strained interpersonal relations. Not always possible, but worth trying.
For example, you could start suggesting to other parents / coaches of the soccer league that you think it would be fun to turn team-making into a social event. If teams are supposed to be random (or somewhat random, like only x number of players from age group y, n players from age group z, etc) find a way to make the teams randomly and more importantly, openly. And make it fun; serve punch or something. If other parents will go along with this, and there is no legitimate reason for the head of the league to refuse, then she’ll feel pressure to do it. But, you won’t have really called her out.
Of course she still may just refuse. But it might be worth a shot!
That’s a good thought. In the past team members have been assigned in private, without anyone present. Maybe that can be changed.
that’s a tough call b2, and even though l’ve found myself in similar circumstances, l don’t have an easy solution for your conundrum. however, imo, it clearly demonstrates the don’t make waves mentality that pervades this country. in that respect, it’s a microcosm of the failure of people to call those who abuse their positions and authority, on all levels, to account.
the results of that attitude on a grander stage can be clearly seen in the lack of courage or any meaningful action by congress to confront and curb the excesses of the current administration and its minions, as well as their own indiscretions.
not to put too fine a point on it but, while you’re pondering appropriate action, consider, if you will, the hypothetical of mrs. pta, having become bored after her children are through school, deciding to run for a city, county, or other office where she would have considerably more opportunities for mischief.
l would assume that this is an individual you would not be inclined to support. but at that point, say 10 years down the road after who knows what other questionable actions may have been committed without any adverse effects, it’s going to be difficult, if not impossible, to make a cogent argument that she may not be sufficiently open and honest for such a position.
certainly, her other actions, be they good, bad, fair or unfair, should weigh heavily on what decision is reached, and how it could be most effectively accomplished. hopefully, providing everyone involved with an opportunity to learn from it in an honorable way.
good luck.
lTMF’sA
That’s interesting, dada. I am curious as to where she will go now that she’s conquered local organizations.