In her latest Time.com blog post, Ana Marie “Lovin’ Eyes Can’t Ever See” Cox defends her girlfriend John “She Can Do No Wrong” McCain from charges of hypocrisy with a heartfelt tribute to the “towering” standards McCain sets for himself. In fact, the things McCain says he believes are so rarefied and wonderful that if he betrays those beliefs, we should hardly fault him. Seriously. This is her argument:
To be sure, McCain’s self-scrutiny is withering. (And the estimation of others can be wrong.) If McCain is not always his own worst critic, he is still a vicious and constant one. The level of achievement, honesty and duty to his country that he sets for himself is incredibly high — higher than most people’s, perhaps even “towering.” And I am sympathetic to his aides’ point that he shouldn’t be punished every time his actions meet “normal” standards but fail his own.
Let’s see how this works in practice…
- John McCain’s towering achievement, honesty, and duty to his country require him to speak out against torture. Which is surely far above the “normal” standards of a mere mortal like President George Bush.
- John McCain, however, fails to meet the towering standards he set for himself. In fact, he changes his anti-torture legislation to allow President Bush to define what torture is. And he first supports, then votes against provisions that would require the CIA to abide by Army Field Manual regulations preventing torture.
- But we shouldn’t criticize John McCain. No, we should only praise him, for his anti-torture sentiments were so impossibly, gloriously high in the first place.
Ana Marie Cox, your love for your girlfriend John McCain is a beautiful thing. We proudly award you today’s richly deserved Percy Sledge McCain McLovin Medallion.
I’m sorry. I’m… I’m all choked up. Can we listen to the song again? The John Bolton version, please.
Click here for the origins of the Percy Sledge McCain McLovin Medallion.
Originally posted at AsiansVote.com.
