Fun With History: Empire Falls

Prelude

And without further ado:
CRISIS OF THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

Crisis of the Twenty-First Century. . . is a commonly applied name for the crumbling and near collapse of the American Empire. . . caused by three simultaneous crises: military spending, internal civil strife, and economic collapse. . . .

History

The troubles began. . . when the president John F. Kennedy was murdered. . after American forces were defeated in a campaign against Cuban peoples . . . while he was focused primarily on the dangers from the Russian Empire, America’s biggest rival and the other strong international power of the era. . . .   [H]e resorted to diplomacy. . . in an attempt to pacify the Russians . . . which lost him the respect of his troops who felt they should be punishing [them]. [L]ater, they killed him for dishonoring America.

The threat by. . . [the] Russians was beaten back. . . .  This victory was significant as the turning point of the crisis, when a series of wanna-be soldier presidents took power. Victories by. . . president Reagan over the next. . . years. . . recovered illusory American pride.  When Reagan died. . . Bush I, Clinton and Bush II succeeded him as president and continued. . .the empire.

Bush I, Clinton and Bush II. . . brought the empire. . . [to] crisis. . . defeating, in succession, the Panamanians, Nicaraguans, Iraqis, Somalis, Serbs, Afghans and the Iranians.  [T]he United States Empire was reunited, and the frontier troops were back in place.  However, dozens of formerly thriving cities, especially in the West, had been utterly ruined, their populations dispersed, and with the breakdown of the economic system most could not be rebuilt. Major towns, even Washington D.C. itself, now became surrounded by thick walls they had not needed for many centuries.

Finally, although Bush I, Clinton, and Bush II had played a significant role in restoring the Empire’s borders for the moment from external threat, more fundamental problems remained that had initially caused the crisis. In particular. . . continuous civil strifes as competing factions in the military, senate and other parties put forward their favoured candidate for President.  Another problem was the sheer size of the Empire making it difficult for a single autocratic ruler to effectively manage multiple threats at the same time. All of these continuing problems would be radically addressed. . . .

Economic Impact

Internally the empire faced runaway hyperinflation caused by years of dollar devaluation. This had started earlier under Reagan who enlarged the army. . . and. . . the[ir] base pay.  As each of the short-lived presidents took power they needed ways to raise money quickly to pay the military. . . and the easiest way to do so was by simply printing more dollars.  This had the predictable effect of causing runaway inflation and by the time Obama came to power the old dollar of the United States Empire had nearly collapsed. Some taxes were collected in kind and values were often notional. . . .  Real values continued to be figured in [the] dollar, but [it]. . . had almost no value and trade was by barter. Every aspect of the United States way of life was affected.

One of the most profound and lasting effects of the Crisis of the Twenty-First Century was the disruption of Washington’s extensive. . . trade network. . . .  Imperial America’s economy depended in large part on trade between the Arabian  ports and over America’s extensive road [shipping and airline] system[s].  Merchants could travel from one end of the Empire to the other in relative safety in a few hours, moving agricultural goods produced in the provinces, and manufactured goods produced by the great cities of the East. Large estates produced cash crops for export, and used the resulting revenues to import food and manufactured goods. This resulted in a great deal of interdependence between the Empire’s inhabitants. . . .

With the Crisis of the Twenty-First Century, however, this vast trade network broke down. The widespread civil unrest made it no longer safe for merchants to travel as they once had, and the financial crisis that struck made exchange very difficult. This produced profound changes that, in many ways, would foreshadow the character of the coming. . . Ages. Large landowners, no longer able to successfully export their crops over long distances, began producing food for subsistence and local barter. Rather than import manufactured goods, they began to manufacture many goods locally, often on their own estates, thus beginning the self-sufficient “house economy” that would become commonplace in later centuries.  The common free people of the cities, meanwhile, began to move out to the countryside in search of food and protection. Made desperate by economic necessity, many of these former city dwellers, as well as many small farmers, were forced to give up basic rights in order to receive protection from large land holders. The former became a half-free class of citizens. . . .  They were tied to the land and, thanks to later Imperial reforms, their  positions were made hereditary.  This provided. . . for serfdom, which would form the basis of. . . society.

Even the cities themselves began to change in character. The large. . . cities. . . slowly gave way to the smaller, walled cities.  These changes were not restricted to the Twenty-First century, but took place slowly over long periods of time, and were punctuated with many temporary reversals. However, in spite of extensive reforms by later Presidents, the American trade network was never able to fully recover. The decrease in commerce. . . put them on a path towards increased insularity. Large landowners, who had become more self-sufficient, became less mindful of America’s central authority and were downright hostile towards its tax collectors. The measure of wealth at this time began to have less to do with wielding urban civil authority and more to do with controlling large. . . estates. The common people lost economic and political power to the nobility, and the middle classes waned.  The Crisis of the Twenty-First Century thus marked the beginning of the long evolutionary process that would transform the. . . world.

Epilogue

Here are the specific changes:

Third Century to Twenty-First Century

Roman to United States or American (where American is used to describe the United States and not populations indigenous to the American continent).

External Invasion to Military Spending

Civil War to Civil Strife

Emperor to President

Alexander Severus to John F. Kennedy

Legions to forces

Germanic to Cuban

Sassanid Persian, Goths to Russian

An Invasion to the threat

tough, energetic soldier presidents to wanna-be soldier presidents

Claudius II Gothicus, Severan to Reagan

Hispania from the Gallic Empire to illusory American pride

Aurelian to Bush I, Clinton and Bush II

Vandals, Visigoths, Palmyrenes (see Queen Zenobia), Persians, and then the remainder of the Gallic Empire to Panamanians, Nicaraguans, Iraqis, Somalis, Serbs, Afghans and the Iranians.

Rome to Washinton D.C.

Coinage to Dollar

cutting the silver in coins and adding less valuable metals to printing more dollars

Diocletian to Obama

Mediterranean to Arabian

weeks to hours