(Hey, it could be YOU someday, TOO!)
From the old days, when as a nurse I could run long hallways for 16 hours straight and race stock cars and snowmobiles on weekends, to life on a mobility scooter is one helluva adjustment! But I am actually doing quite well now that I’ve gotten past all the whining and moaning and groaning and being totally and completely pissed off about it all.
It certainly does give one a new perspective on the world and it’s inhabitants. For one thing, I have become an expert on BUTTS, because in crowded places, that’s mostly all you see! Big ones, little ones, fat ones, skinny one, tight ones, flabby ones, you’d be amazed at the variety. Now, sometimes I have to ask people to turn around so I can recognize them. And the one thing you learn early on is NOT to ride too closely behind anyone just coming out of a restaurant.
It is really quite necessary to develop a strong self image and one hell of a sense of humor, if you’re going to get around this world from scooter level. It seems in the minds of many, old folks who can’t walk MUST also be of limited intelligence or senile, and probably deaf as well. That’s the only reason I can think of for why so many step in close, towering over me, and then start speaking in V-E-R-Y SLOW,LOUD voices! I used to just put up with this, but no more. If I can, I hit reverse, roll back a few feet and say “There, that’s better. Now what were you saying?!” Pretty effective most of the time. 🙂
One also has to get used to being disliked for slowing faster people down. I have a bumper sticker that says “I May Be Slow, But I’m Ahead Of YOU!”, which helps a lot. Otherwise, if a person behind me is sighing and groaning their impatience too loudly, I am likely to make a very big deal of wheeling myself out of their way, and (loudly) apologizing for delaying them, preferably in front of others. Love that snark stuff!
Crossing streets? Well now, that is NOT for the faint of heart! I don’t care HOW tall a flag you fly on your machine, there are endless numbers of drivers (most of them on cell phones!)who can’t see anything smaller than an SUV or F150, much less pay attention to crosswalks. I am quite aware that my chances of ending up as road kill are considerable higher now, but damned if I’m gonna stay home. I am, however, considering adding one of those air horns like the big semi’s have.
Then there’s doorways, the bane of my existence. Especially the “pull” type ones: ones arms are only SO long. Makes me grateful there are still so many considerate people around. And grateful too that I can still walk short distances, like into public bathrooms, because there is no way in hell I could maneuver a scooter with a 35 inch turning radius in any of them “accessible” or NOT!
There are many challenges: I’ve gotten my wheels stuck in railroad crossings, had batteries go dead when I’m still a mile or two from home, run into hills I can’t climb, and have tipped this thing more times than I can remember, on rough ground. And I know there are more adventures to come, one of which involves finding someone who make this OL BATMOBILE go FASTER than 5.4 MPH! (I just found out this is possible: that the speeds are set this slow by manufacturers for safety reasons only!)
If there’s any moral to this story at all, and there probably isn’t, it would be to find your fun where you can, and if there isn’t any, MAKE SOME!
LOOK HARD for the ridiculous, hilarious side of any and all situations, because there almost always IS one, somewhere.
Then,(as soon as you possibly can), laugh at it.
(Just don’t ride behind anyone coming out of a restaurant!)
