The Ultimate Deal is about to be made.

Sick and tired of making individual Deals with individual companies, Helicopter Ben, Hammerin’ Hank, and the whole Deal or No Deal crew has decided to fundamentally change America’s economy from capitalism to kleptocracy.

IT’S A DEAL FOR EVERYBODY ON WALL STREET!

Everybody on Main Street will pay for it.

The motherfugger of all bailouts is about to be upon us.  <b.It is nothing less than the nationalization of all the trillions of bad mortgage debt in the country</b>.

Not the PROFITS mind you…no, that’s still privatized.  But all the junk mortgage debt…millions…BILLIONS…TRILLIONS…even reaching into the stratosphere of OVER A QUADRILLION DOLLARS of toxic, mutant derivative funny paper is about to be dumped on our backs.

We just became a socialist country.

The federal government, in what will be its most far-reaching attempt yet to contain the financial crisis, is poised to establish a program to let banks get rid of mortgage-related assets that have been hard to value and harder to trade.

Leaders from the House and the Senate were briefed on Thursday evening by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke.

“The root cause of distress in capital markets is the real estate correction and what’s going on in terms of the price declines in real estate,” Paulson said at a press briefing after the meeting. “So we’re coming together to work for an expeditious solution aimed right at the heart of this problem, which is illiquid assets on financial institutions’ balance sheets.”

Many details of the plan remained unclear, but it is likely the government would take on tens of billions of dollars in mortgage assets – if not more.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., said late Thursday night that lawmakers expected to get the proposal from Treasury in a matter of hours.

“We hope to move very quickly – time is of the essence,” Pelosi said.

Paulson, Bernanke and other officials expect to work through the weekend with congressional leaders to finalize a plan, said Brookly McLaughlin, a Treasury spokeswoman.

Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, said he believes legislation could be acted on next week.

Let’s get this out of the way:  Obama will not save us on this.  The Democrats are behind this plan 100% as much as the Republicans are.  This could be signed into law before the end of the month, a behemoth government agency who will simply take all the nasty results of risk away.  Risk is for poor people.  Change we can believe in!

The questions are staggering.  With American taxpayers already on the hook for trillions in bad mortgage paper for Freddie and Fannie, we’re now going to be proud owners of trillions more of it.  How will we possibly pay for it?  Easy…we make the money up.

The road to hyper-inflation is now clear as day.  We’re simply going to pretend this debt doesn’t exist and replace it with money we believe does exist…money backed up by a dream and faith.

Faith-based economy.  When you’re asking yourself why you lost your health insurance, why you can’t afford to send your kids to college, why you can’t afford a place to live anymore, why you can’t afford transportation costs, why you can’t afford gas and food and water in a few years, go back to this week.

We just sold our country to save the financial industry.  Only the creation of massive amounts of fiat money — trillions and trillions — will be able to retire this debt.

The dollar is on the verge of becoming a third world currency.  It’ll start small, of course.

Options that U.S. officials are considering include establishing an $800 billion fund to purchase so-called failed assets and a separate $400 billion pool at the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. to insure investors in money-market funds, said two people briefed by congressional staff. They spoke on condition of anonymity because the plans may change.

Another possibility is using Fannie and Freddie, the federally chartered mortgage-finance companies seized by the government last week, to buy assets, one of the people said.

“We will try to put a bill together and do it fairly quickly,” House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank, a Massachusetts Democrat, said after the meeting. “We are not in a position to give you any specifics right now” on the proposals, he said when asked about the potential cost.

The likelihood of the government taking on yet more devalued assets, after the seizures of Fannie, Freddie and AIG and the earlier assumption by the Fed of $29 billion of Bear Stearns Cos. investments, may spur concern about its own balance sheet.

Debt Concern

The Treasury has pledged to buy up to $200 billion of Fannie and Freddie stock to keep them solvent, while the Fed agreed Sept. 16 to an $85 billion bridge loan to AIG. The Treasury also plans to buy $5 billion of mortgage-backed debt this month under an emergency program.

“It sounds like there’s going to be a giant dumpster for illiquid assets,” said Mirko Mikelic, senior portfolio manager at Fifth Third Asset Management in Grand Rapids, Michigan, which oversees $22 billion in assets. “It brings up the more troubling question of whether the U.S. government is big enough to take on this whole problem, relative” to the size of the American economy, he said.

I’ve got news for you, Mr. Mikelic.  It’s not.  The derivatives attached to these nightmares are a thirteen-digit number…more than orders of magnitude of the entire global economy.

So what does it matter then if we say “Let’s just toss another $1.2 trillion dollars into the pile!”  Where is it coming from?  Who knows?  Who cares?  We’re the government, we’ll just make it up!

Our entire economy is about to be turned into a giant dumpster, surely.  We’re the dumpster.  All the plans you’re expecting Obama to do for us, universal health care, new jobs in the green energy sector, getting off foreign oil, all that just died this week along with any hope we had.

Whoever is President in January is the new Herbert Hoover.  We’ll all be living in the giant dumpster when the debt the government takes on in your name detonates and wipes out the global system.

The US government is on the verge of committing economic suicide.

You think things are bad now?

You have no idea.  None.  Well, if you’ve been reading Global No Confidence Vote you have some idea.  But this is scaring even me beyond the capacity for rational thought.  This is endgame stuff, folks.  This is going to end America as we know it.

The good intentions that will pave the road to the Second Great Depression goes right through The Motherfugger Of All Deals here.

And it will pave right over each and every one of us.

Forget wheelbarrows of cash.  Start thinking about self-reliance.  Start thinking about what you’ll need to have on hand to survive this.  Start thinking about the skills you’ll need to have in the new barter economy that will replace this.  What’s coming down the pike is going to be worse than you ever imagined.

And more than ever…

BE PREPARED.

Cross-posted at ZVTS.