I’ve always said that you can use the script of The Big Lebowski as a guidebook in life because no matter what happens to you there is something in Lebowski that is applicable. For example, if you’re getting nowhere negotiating with kidnappers…
DIETER: Okay. Vee take ze money you haf on you und vee call it eefen.
WALTER SOBCHAK: Fuck you.
Sobchak then disarms the kidnappers, solving the problem. This is essentially what President Obama did during the crisis in the Gulf of Aden off the coast of Somalia. He didn’t call a press conference. He didn’t make bellicose threats. He didn’t even have a high-level meeting of his national security team. He discharged FBI negotiators and a Navy SEAL team. Once the FBI’s negotiations appeared to break down, he authorized the SEALS to use deadly force if the hostage was at all threatened. And when it was over, he didn’t pound his chest or attempt to classify it as a giant win in the war on terror. It was nothing more than a hostage rescue mission that was successfully applied.
There’s a theme running through parts of Left Blogistan that these pirates are acting out of some kind of legitimate desperation or self-defense. That’s lunacy. The pirates boarded this ship 240 miles off the coast of Somalia in the Indian Ocean. They made no political demands. They wanted two million dollars in ransom and nothing else. How does The Big Lebowski address the issue of fairness for kidnappers?
KIEFFER: His girlfriend gafe up her toe! She sought we’d be getting million dollars! Iss not fair!
WALTER SOBCHAK: Fair! WHO’S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?!
In the infinite wisdom of the Coen Brothers, we learn the true lesson of kidnapping. However tempting it may be to capitulate to their demands, it only encourages them to kidnap again. You don’t sympathize with kidnappers or seek to understand why they might need a million dollars. You don’t treat them like a political terrorist organization. You negotiate as a stalling tactic until you hopefully manage a rescue. And if some lives are lost in the process, you don’t mourn for the criminals that inflicted so much unwarranted pain on their victims and the families of the victims. You hope that their deaths serve as a deterrent to others who might think they can get rich quick by violating the law.
