Danger! Danger! A founding member of the axis of evil is threatening Nuclear War, and threatening (maybe) to blast Hawaii into little itty bitty pieces with an ICBM. Not to mention they intend to “wipe out” both South Korea the US of A once and for all! And that godless Marxist Obama is President. My God, it could be all part and parcel of his evil plan to destroy America!
In times like this who can we turn to for guidance? Who has the wisdom and the knowledge and the experience to deal with this existential threat to our, uh, national existence? Only the Man from Jackson (Wyoming that is). The man, who with his pal and patriotic fellow traveler, Donald Rumsfeld, single- (okay double) -handedly changed America’ ability to respond rapidly to emerging threats such as the one posed by Kim Jong-il (and his little sons too) by creating the Global Strike response plan other wise known as CONPLAN 8022-02 which permits the first use of nuclear weapons against rogue states and WMD making menaces like Iran and North Korea:
Global strike has become one of the core missions for the Omaha-based Strategic Command, or Stratcom. Once, Stratcom oversaw only the nation’s nuclear forces; now it has responsibility for overseeing a global strike plan with both conventional and nuclear options. President Bush spelled out the definition of “full-spectrum” global strike in a January 2003 classified directive, describing it as “a capability to deliver rapid, extended range, precision kinetic (nuclear and conventional) and non-kinetic (elements of space and information operations) effects in support of theater and national objectives.”
This blurring of the nuclear/conventional line, wittingly or unwittingly, could heighten the risk that the nuclear option will be used. Exhibit A may be the Stratcom contingency plan for dealing with “imminent” threats from countries such as North Korea or Iran, formally known as CONPLAN 8022-02.
CONPLAN 8022 is different from other war plans in that it posits a small-scale operation and no “boots on the ground.” The typical war plan encompasses an amalgam of forces — air, ground, sea — and takes into account the logistics and political dimensions needed to sustain those forces in protracted operations. All these elements generally require significant lead time to be effective. (Existing Pentagon war plans, developed for specific regions or “theaters,” are essentially defensive responses to invasions or attacks. The global strike plan is offensive, triggered by the perception of an imminent threat and carried out by presidential order.)
CONPLAN 8022 anticipates two different scenarios. The first is a response to a specific and imminent nuclear threat, say in North Korea. A quick-reaction, highly choreographed strike would combine pinpoint bombing with electronic warfare and cyberattacks to disable a North Korean response, with commandos operating deep in enemy territory, perhaps even to take possession of the nuclear device.
The second scenario involves a more generic attack on an adversary’s WMD infrastructure. Assume, for argument’s sake, that Iran announces it is mounting a crash program to build a nuclear weapon. A multidimensional bombing (kinetic) and cyberwarfare (non-kinetic) attack might seek to destroy Iran’s program, and special forces would be deployed to disable or isolate underground facilities.
By employing all of the tricks in the U.S. arsenal to immobilize an enemy country — turning off the electricity, jamming and spoofing radars and communications, penetrating computer networks and garbling electronic commands — global strike magnifies the impact of bombing by eliminating the need to physically destroy targets that have been disabled by other means.
The inclusion, therefore, of a nuclear weapons option in CONPLAN 8022 — a specially configured earth-penetrating bomb to destroy deeply buried facilities, if any exist — is particularly disconcerting. The global strike plan holds the nuclear option in reserve if intelligence suggests an “imminent” launch of an enemy nuclear strike on the United States or if there is a need to destroy hard-to-reach targets.
Well the clock is ticking now folks. All those beautiful people in Hawaii (even if they are traitors for hiding the fact that Barry Hussein Obama’s birth certificate doesn’t really exist) may soon go up in the smoking gun of a mushroom cloud (I know, a bit of a mixed metaphor but stay with me here). Dammit, even mixed race and multicultural persons are still sort of Americans and by god they speak English and accept good old American greenbacks there. And besides who wants to lose America’s favorite Honeymoon destination?
I know the official Pentagon response to all this is that any possible attack from North Korea is just pure silliness, but what do you expect a bunch of lazy assed desk jockeys at the Pentagon who now have to Kowtow to the Great Messiah Obama to say? The truth is we are in imminent danger! As in immediate. As in we could face a complete and utter conniption fit on right thinking blogs while Obama performs his best Nero violin playing impersonation.
So what can Real Americans do about this? We only have until July 4th my friends. But I ask you, WWCD (What Would Cheney Do)? I think we all know the answer to that. So, how can we bring back the only Dick with balls big enough to bomb North Korea back to the Stone Age?
I think we need to accelerate the schedule for our Tea Party Revolution, don’t you? How many of you can show up in Washington DC this weekend to fling your teabags in Obama’s face? Please, don’t delay. Drop everything else and make your travel plans now. The fate of Sarah Palin (and all the little new Palins) depends on it! Oh and our FREEDOMS (like the right to make silly rants like this one)!
Ps. I bet if we offer Joe the Plumber enough money he might make an appearance, as well. Couldn’t hurt.
Pps. Wolverines!
