Recently several U.S. Senators wrote a letter to Attorney General Eric Holder demanding an investigation of BP.  

Below is his reply (tongue in cheek)(satire).
Senator Barbara Boxer
Senator Ben Cardin
Senator Frank Lautenberg
Senator Kirsten Gillibrand
Senator Bernie Sanders
Senator Amy Klobuchar
Senator Tom Carper
Senator Jeff Merkley

May 18, 2010

Dear Senators:

Thank you for your recent letter concerning a possible inquiry into whether British Petroleum made misleading and perhaps fraudulent statements relating to its off shore drilling policies.

As you know, the President of the United States has himself spoken repeatedly of the need to “look forward, not backwards” with regards to potentially criminal actions. In that spirit, it would be unwise to consider possibly fraudulent acts or statements made in the past when there may be a good possibility of rehabilitating this important multinational corporation so that it will do good in the future.

Moreover, BP is an important and vital cog in the international economic system. You Senators should know better than anyone that not only our country but the entire world has been struggling through dire times for the past two years. “Piling on” to BP at this time might just put them under and this in turn could have a domino effect upon the whole oil industry and on industrial production. This worst case scenario could lead to economic catastrophe and perhaps more important for you, loss of your jobs to an angry electorate.

Finally, all of you Senators know of the importance of campaign contributions in our political system. You all know how expensive it is to get elected to positions as lofty as yours in any state now. You should know expecially Barbara, right, with the high costs in California?  BP realizes this too and has been willing to extend its good corporate hand, and open its good corporate wallet to the President and this administration. In 2008, BP gave the Obama campaign more money than any candidate ever, something that we are all very proud of!

I know it is easy to say investigate and to call for prosecutions of supposedly dubious activities but this kind of call for legal action will just further inflame the volatile political atmosphere we have in this country. Some Republicans, even a single one, might object to this proposed course of action and then all hell would break out. This administration is committed to reaching out to its opponents, not slapping them in jail at the first signs of criminal wrongdoing.

We have long ago, in bipartisan fashion since the Reagan days, put our major corporations on an honor system whereby they police themselves and interpret federal rules and regulations in their best interest (under the supervision of agencies such as those in the Interior Ministry, of course). The business of America has always been business. Are we ready to plunge into the uncharted waters of actually holding corporations, who our own Supreme Court now views on the same basis as citizens, accountable for their antisocial and criminal actions?

In light of the above, I request you review your actions and come to your collective political senses as Senators. After all, everyone knows that justice and oil don’t mix well.

Respectfully yours,
Eric Holder
Attorney General of the United States

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