So, if we are all going to have to change our names to cover over our youthful indiscretions then we’re going to have to start thinking up some good names. If you were going to change your name, what would you go with?
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BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
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The Machete
I’ve always wanted to be a big large hacking tool that has a second career as a special effects B Movie.
Ps. Good to have you back.
I just heard the name ‘Double Dickie’ and thought it would be worth a try.
Schmidt is kind of a moron. This just underscores it.
What’s far more likely is that as time goes on is that people will adapt to the new reality. The reality that you can’t hide your “youthful indiscretions” and pretend like they didn’t happen anymore, so you just own up to them and admit that they happened and then move on. Most people can’t afford to change their names just to escape a few beer bong photos or topless photos taken by an ex.
One way that Schmidt is a moron – does he really think something as simple as a legal name change will prevent the technology that Google has right now from associating an old name with a new name? Even without access to the public filing of the name change the AI tech that exists right now can make associations like that at a reasonably decent level, if you live your life on the web.
Your last para: Exactly. And, will having an a.k.a. make you look like you’re leaving teenage foolishness behind or more like you’re trying to hide a felony?
I agree in the long term. I mean, that’s what’s happening with tattoos and piercings.
Short term, though, I think he’s right. It won’t really change until people of this gen are in their 30’s and 40’s.
I think a better suggestion would be to just use a fake name on facebook or something.
I can’t work up any sympathy for people who were so incredibly stupid as to lay out their private lives, with real names, on the Web. They couldn’t have ALL been drunk at the time.
Change our names? That’s silly. What if silly shit simply became so common that we evolved beyond making it a big deal?
Oh, right.
Anyway, it wouldn’t help me. I’ve been non-anonymous on the internet forever, and “Jean-Keir DuBois” is too cool of a name to change if someone has a hang-up with me.
Or, one could just stop facebooking/tweeting about every fart and burp that emanates from one’s body. If that’s still possible.
Note to self: stop using google chrome.
Frankly, I’m too old to give a shit about youthful indiscretions.
Three years ago I moved to Norway and decided to change my name. I had a very boring English-Irish name, something like ‘John Smith’ and decided it would be cool to adopt a Scandinavian name, even though I had no roots there. The best thing about it has been the psychological effect of having a new identity and being able to reinvent myself at age 45. I imagine it was like being ‘born again.’
ivor ulfsson,
Don`t you mean bjorn again?
lol! Very good KH!
Indianadem
It just seemed obvious to me, plus I like ‘funny’.
Hope all is well with you.
I think the appropriate change of name would be for everyone to go by N.S.A. Google.
Didn’t know that Google considered Orwell’s 1984 as an operating manual.
Nothing like strangling “the cloud” in the womb, to horribly mix a metaphor.
It’s never been an issue for me (knocks on wood). Truth be told, I don’t think this is going to be a problem. Everybody does stupid shit when they’re young, and I doubt most employers care so long as you’re not broadcasting something highly offensive.
Schmidt is an idiot. If he’s so concerned, maybe his shitty company should implement greater privacy protections instead of gathering data it has no business gathering.
…adding: But if I had to change my name, I think I’d steal Colt McCoy’s. Overrated quarterback at an overrated program, but still a very cool name.
The employers who care the most right now are schools (or anyone else who deals with children). Mostly because “won’t someone think of the children” is a cry that is easy to make, and the easiest course of action to take when it starts is to fire someone.
If you’re a college student even thinking about becoming a teacher, don’t use Facebook. If you are already using Facebook, lock up your privacy settings. And never ever send naked pictures of yourself to a significant other, or let your significant other film you having sex.
High school kids especially have really good ways of finding this stuff, and once they have a picture of you doing bong hits or posing in the nude for an ex, it will get into the hands of the principal and it will result in you losing your job. I don’t see that changing until folks who are just entering schools right now end up in decision making slots on school boards and in the administration and in the higher levels of the teacher’s unions.
I’ve already changed mine. Well, not legally, but I saw this would be a problem a few months ago. So I deleted my “real” facebook, and now I have a fake one with a fake name.
I’m ahead of the curve, haha.
As a boy, I always thought that Lance Mountain was the best name possible. Plus, now it would confuse search engines.
Unfortunately, I think Schmidt is not that far off, but not about names. The real shocker in that story is not the idea of people changing names, that’s a smokescreen for getting the much more shocking notion that Google is going in to the business of telling people what they will want to do at any given time. And he’s right that it will be a popular service, that it’s what people want. Maybe not you and me, but lots of people.
I encourage people to read “Accelerando” by Charles Stross for a good sci-fi treatment of some of these issues.
Zo Zo The Elixir. I’ve always been a fan of David Bowie and his myriad character transformations in the 70’s.
Boo Man.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I already have a couple of aliases online, including Facebook.
If I were to pick another, maybe it would be that of a Norwegian politician (after all, I am a Norwegian, though in ‘exile’) named:
Stein Ørnhøi
It literally means Stone Eagle High. It is said that he resides in Dops Gate (Dope Street).
Lloyd C. Blankfein.
If it was good enough for Kenneth Lay . . .
Got banned from facebook for being too young, so my stupid posting on facebook is limited to exaggerating my youth (may surprise y’all to learn that I’m not really only 6 years old). otoh maybe some youthful indiscretions are in order now.
What makes you think I don’t like my name, exactly the way it is?
Snarki Lokichild! Great name! If I don’t steal it, I’ll choose “Jean Le Baptiste” or “Juan Batista”. “Marilyn Monroe” might raise eyebrows, so “Mario Monroe” might be an alternate.
“Barack Obama”? Good strong sounding first name, easy to pronounce surname, better than “Hairy Reed”
Thomas Mac Farland, gunslinger par excellence.
F. Scott Fitzgerald.
I once sent a friend in prison, a package.
I put a false return address on it due to some of the contents.
The name I used for the return address was Phlange Weilder.
Melisande Scott. š It was a fake name for a role I played in for our big high school musical. Points to anyone who can name that show.
Bells Are Ringing