God is Angry: Stem Cells Cure AIDS

Somewhere Republican Jesus is crying tonight. Why? Because apparently stem cells have been used to cure a man who was infected with AIDS.

“The man received bone marrow from a donor who had natural resistance to HIV infection; this was due to a genetic profile which led to the CCR5 co-receptor being absent from his cells,” they explained. “The most common variety of HIV uses CCR5 as its ‘docking station’, attaching to it in order to enter and infect CD4 cells, and people with this mutation are almost completely protected against infection.”

The case appears to prove that stem cell driven treatments could be incredibly valuable in a variety of applications, including HIV therapies.

Although antiretroviral drugs have made HIV infection treatable, this is the first time a person has been reportedly cured.

Who knew stem cells researchers were secretly planning to promote the “Gay Agenda.” No wonder Republicans hate stem cell research. It had nothing to do with “snowflake” babies since most frozen embryos at fertility clinics are discarded, anyway.

I’m sure somewhere a Republican Congress critter (or more likely a staff member) is preparing legislation to stop the use of stem cells in AIDS research. Why? Because if AIDS can be cured, more innocent children will be seduced into the Gay lifestyle. After all, you know, don’t you, that AIDS was God’s way of punishing Gays (and anyone with a Gay friend or two (well that and Hurricane Katrina).

In any case, I’m certain that Republicans will push to keep the ban on funding for embryonic stem cell research in place.

A big loser from the recent election results could be embryonic stem cell research.

A federal judge issued an injunction in August that restricted all federal funds for embryonic stem cell research, stating these funds were in violation of the Dickey-Wicker Amendment. This amendment essentially prohibits government funding on research that involves destruction of human embryos.

Backers of embryonic stem cell research say the injunction blocks funding for research using cell lines already in existence — which don’t require more embryos to be harmed — and had hoped this amendment could be removed, or new legislation passed to override it. Now, some are skeptical this will happen.

“I think funding for embryonic stem cell research is in seriously jeopardy because of the election,” said Arthur Caplan, director of the center for bioethics at the University of Pennsylvania. “The election of a Republican House and a more conservative Senate makes it unlikely that the legislation is going to get changed,” he said.

The best bet for supporters of embryonic stem cell research would be to get legislation passed in the “lame duck” session of Congress, before the newly elected officials take their seats, Propst said.

If that doesn’t happen, Propst said it was not likely a stem cell funding bill would get through Congress in the next term. But she noted a number of Republicans have been supportive of stem cell research in the past.

And you know what that means:

All the red tape surrounding this type of research may take its toll in terms of the number of scientists interested in the field, Caplan said.

“Younger scientists are not wanting to get into this area that’s likely to be tangled up in legislative and court disputes for the next few years…that’s not a good way to build a career,” he said.

Well a majority of scientists are Democrats anyway, so I’m sure the Republicans are more than happy to make their live harder as well as limit our nation’s ability to pursue new medical technologies that might, you know, create jobs and help save people’s lives. Sort of like they hate government support for research and development of Green Tech.

Why? Because God wants us to breath dirty air and fight wars in the Middle East and help Exxon Mobil’s profits. Didn’t you know its all part of his master plan to defeat Satan and cast all non-believers into a fiery lake to burn forever after the Second Coming of Jesus? But that will only happen after seven years of tribulation when God will let Satan and his servants (might those servants be scientists, perhaps- hmmm?) dominion over the Earth so that they can run rampant and kill billions of people who don’t catch the rapture train.

So you can see why an AIDS cure is the work of evil Satanists because it saves the lives of immoral sinful sexual deviants, right?**

** I’d like to think my post is merely 100% unadulterated snark, but a little voice in my head is telling me that what would have made a good Onion satire five years ago is now likely to come true in this next Congress. And all Americans, even the religious fanatics who hate science, will suffer for it.

Author: Steven D

Father of 2 children. Faithful Husband. Loves my country, but not the GOP.