Whatever Dennis Kucinich’s merits, and he has quite a few, he is a spectacularly tone-deaf politician. First of all, let me stipulate that it’s completely idiotic and irresponsible to put unpitted olives on someone’s sandwich. You chomp down on a pit that you weren’t expecting, and dental damage is an obvious result. Anyone would be entitled to compensation…not just the cost of the sandwich, but the cost of any dental work or oral surgery that was required as a result. But Kucinich wants $150,000.
“Said sandwich wrap was unwholesome and unfit for human consumption in that it was presented to contain pitted olives, yet unknown to plaintiff, contained an unpitted olive or olives which plaintiff did not reasonably expect to be in the food prepared for him, and could not visually detect prior to consumption,” the lawsuit said.
He’s suing four contractors for the House of Representatives’ cafeteria for $150,000.
Biting into it caused serious “permanent dental and oral injuries requiring multiple surgical and dental procedures,” the legal documents say. They contend the congressman is entitled to damages for future dental and medical expenses and to compensate him for pain, suffering, and loss of enjoyment.
Again, it’s established law that a victim can get compensation for pain incurred and permanent loss of enjoyment. If you hurt someone and screw up their life, you have to compensate them for that. That’s fair. But Kucinich is a politician. He has to know that suing the House cafeteria for the pain, suffering, and loss of enjoyment caused by an unpitted olive in his sandwich wrap is one of the best arguments for tort reform ever presented on a platter to the Republicans. Obviously, he sued prior to the president showing a willingness to discuss tort reform in the State of the Union speech, but doesn’t he ever consider how he might make himself look ridiculous and undermine the rights of more deserving people if he sues for $150,000 to compensate him for a catering mistake?
But, who am I kidding? He’s Dennis Kucinich, the worst salesman for progressive politics I’ve ever seen. I wish we had progressives who looked and acted like Mark Warner or Jeff Bingaman. I want progressives who look and act like they belong in power. I don’t need yapping dogs like Anthony Weiner, or clowns like Alan Grayson. They create a parody of progressivism. He’s getting old, but John Conyers knows how to act. He has some sense of decorum. And he’d know better than to sue the House cafeteria for loss of enjoyment.
When Hall of Fame running back Barry Sanders scored a touchdown, he didn’t spike the ball. He handed it to the ref. His reasoning? You should act like you’ve been there before. That’s what progressives need to do. Act like you belong, not like the left-wing mirror image of Gary Bauer and Alan Keyes. That’s what Ronald Reagan figured out. He took that Goldwater bullshit and acted like any idiot would agree with it. He had confidence. He didn’t make a laughing stock out of himself or the issues that he cared about.
I am tired of having weenies, fools, purists, and amateurs for allies. Act like you belong in power. Don’t try to turn the sins of an idiotic sandwich-maker into a financial windfall for yourself.
