Things Crimping My Style

Here’s a few things that are irritating me. My boy is extremely allergic to mosquito bites and he loves to play outdoors. We’ve had so much rain that the mosquitos are much worse than usual right now. So, I did something I would not ordinarily do and bought a bug zapper from Amazon.com. I don’t use Amazon ordinarily because they like to donate money to Republicans. And I would prefer to leave bugs alone, not zap them into oblivion. But I can’t have my boy cooped up in the house or covered in what looks like cigarette burns. I paid an extra $3.99 for next-day delivery and the damn zapper never got here. Now I probably have to keep the boy inside all Memorial Day weekend.

On top of that, I bought a new grill from Home Depot a couple of weeks ago. I’ve used it about seven or eight times. The ignition switch is already broken and Home Depot is too busy to give me a new grill. So, now I have to go down there and get parts and try to figure the damn electronics on the thing. Either that, or I can just match-light the thing this weekend and deal with getting a new grill next week.

Also, too, I want to watch both the Philly Union game and the UEFA Championship between FC Barcelona and Manchester United, but I’ll never get away with watching both.

Did I mention that our dishwasher broke and it’s going to cost almost $400 to fix it? So, handwashing dishes all weekend.

At least the lawnmower didn’t break. We have a nicely mowed lawn that we can’t enjoy because of the skeeters.

And, it’s beautiful out right now, but I think it’s going to storm soon.

Author: BooMan

Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.