Poor Little Anthony Weiner.

I hear Nancy Pelosi has decided to file an ethics probe against him. No doubt many people believe he should resign. And the man never had any real sex with anyone! Nor did he pay anyone for any real sex! Instead he tweeted pictures of himself to other women. (By the way, Anthony, nice pecs).

If only he had been a Republican. Someone like Senator John Ensign who has lasted 2 years in the Senate after having an affair with the wife of his aide (that’s adultery for you Biblical Law experts) and then paid them hush money and provided the husband a cushy lobbying job to cover-up his “youthful indiscretions.” You can read about it here.

Of course, Ensign has nothing on Senator David Vitter who dressed up like a baby (diapers and all) while employing the services of numerous prostitutes yet somehow still managed to get himself elected to another six year term in 2010. Of course Vitter did obtain forgiveness from his wife and, more importantly God himself:

“This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible,” Vitter said in a statement. “Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling.”

Too bad that same excuse didn’t work for Democratic Governor Eliot Spitzer, who didn’t wear diapers, but did give a certain escort her 15 minutes of fame when he was discovered cheating on his wife. Here’s the statement Spitzer gave when he announced his resignation shortly after his dalliances were discovered:

“I cannot allow my private failings to disrupt the peoples’ work,” Spitzer said in a terse statement to reporters at his Manhattan office. “Over the course of my public life, I have insisted — I believe correctly — that people take responsibility for their conduct. I can and will ask no less of myself.”

Guess who demanded he resign or face impeachment? Oh yes, that would be Republicans!

New York State Assembly Republican Minority Leader James Tedisco and Republican New York Congressman Peter King separately called for his resignation. Tedisco later announced that he would initiate impeachment proceedings in the State Assembly if Spitzer did not resign.

I guess God and the American public (or at least the American media) doesn’t forgive Democrats as easily as Republicans. You see, Republicans believe in saving people from hell in the afterlife while creating hell on earth in this life. Democrats (at least some of them all of the time and most of them some of the time) take a somewhat different attitude. No wonder God (as reported by numerous Conservative Christian leaders) doesn’t consider them (like our President) to be real believers in the one true God.

So here’s my suggestion to you Rep. Anthony Weiner. I would immediately convert to the Christian faith (because we all know that “America is a Christian nation” after all) and declare that you are now a Republican and have seen the light. Probably giving a speech in the House praising Paul Ryan’s plan to eliminate save Medicare by shifting the 2/3 or more of the burden of health care costs to future Medicare recipients wouldn’t hurt either. After that Speaker of the House, John “of the House of Orange” Boehner would no doubt see to it that all your little ethics problems would go away.

Or you could remain a Democrat, continue to fight for the rights of people who don’t have an “Inc.” after their names and … well, take your chances. In any event, I wish you luck.

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