Rick Perry killed a raccoon. With hollow-point bullets. While jogging. In Austin, Texas. With his security detail.

Barack Obama killed Osama Bin Laden. With Navy Seal Team Six. While joking about it the night before. At the White House Correspondents Dinner. (Not to mention Somalian pirates and whoever gets killed with those Hellfire missiles from drones.)

Mitt Romney killed American jobs. With greed. While pretending to be a job-creating capitalist. In America. With malice and aforethought.

Michelle Bachmann killed her campaign. With her mouth.

Rick Santorum killed his reputation. By p#$%ing off one of those unmanly fairies.

Newt Gingrich killed his credit rating.

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