Some things I learned from Herman Cain’s brief presidential campaign:
1. Sim City had a 9-9-9 economic plan
2. They made Pokemon movies (with theme songs)
3. The capital of Ubeki Beki Beki Beki Stan Stan is Shamalamadingdong-abad
4. You don’t have to know where Libya is or where the Taliban live in order to win over the Republican base.
5. It’s okay to make aggressive unwanted advances on your co-workers and people seeking your help, but it’s not okay to actually sleep with them if you are married.
6. If you’re black and you need a job, just call yourself a Republican and go around telling other black people that they’re brainwashed and lazy. The Republican base will swoon and the money will flow.
7. Godfather’s Pizza compares unfavorably with cardboard dipped in garbage.
8. Rick Santorum can’t even compete with a two-bit grifter in a cowboy hat.
What did you learn?
Well, I’m shocked.
Wonder if his wife, who has been shockingly badly treated by this miserable cad, will now throw him out?
Find me a CEO of a mid-size, or larger, company who hasn’t cheated on his wife. I’ll be surprised if you can.
Is that the “everybody does it” excuse?
Yes, we must not make up excuses for Cain’s behavior. I’m not even sure the other women in his life are going to stop coming forward because he stops running for president.
Well, I will give Romney credit on this – I doubt he has. I’m not checking, but he’s low on the list. Not everyone is in that group.
It’s not that important, but with Cain, it was clear that he had a major bimbo issue. Even during the campaign, he was saying stupid shit to women, and conservative radio show hosts were not comfortable with how he talked to women: “Doctor up my tea for me, darling”
I learned that I am not alone in having “all these things twirling around in my head.”
I learned that many people confuse cooning for charisma.
This is without a doubt the best, funniest post that you have made in a long, long while!!!
You have pretty well summed up the whole Republican quandary in a nutshell.
Gimme a break.
Please.
AG
Hmmm, interesting you and Booman have picked up on my “gimme a break” meme… expressed not long after I starting posting here.
Answer #2A: Astute synposis of what is going on in “our” political system. Unfortunately a second win for Obama likely means massive corporate capital sitting idle will continue– because investors are “uncertain” about the future, i.e. they might have to pay an additional dime in taxes.. or some sort of climate legislation might pass– costing them another dime.
Of course this is all nonsense, the real issue is LACK OF DEMAND due to millions of Americans being jobless/broke, with no money to spend on goods and services. THIS is the undertain future.
Climate legislation, increased corporate taxes (“job killing taxes”) are the classic strawmen, repeated over and over again by GOP congressmen and lamestream, corporate media.
With the GOP set to take over the Senate, there’s even less potential any legislation deemed anti-corporate will pass than the past three years, with a democratic Senate “majority” and so called democratic POTUS.
Actually, I have been using this phrase (or the variation “Give me a break!!!”) here and elsewhere for years. I don’t believe that I have read anything that you have written. Nevertheless…welcome in. It looks like you have a good grasp of what is really happening here n the United Sates of Omertica.
Later…
AG
Sir: Thank you… not to argue needlessly.. I’m confident the phrase goes back a ways- prior to either of us adopting it.
I’ve been on BT before.. was away for a bit.. back now as I am bored senseless with the starry eyed dreamers over at the orange site.
good to see you are still here!
Don’t forget, we all learned that China has nukes too!
I learned that there it actually is possible for a Republican nominee to be so ignorant that he can get in trouble for it in the primaries.
Hey, don’t knock it… this is the GOP’s idea of a vetting process.
The other good news is Cain is so horrible Larry Flynt didn’t have to offer $1 Million to anyone who could prove Cain’s past philandering.
i’m disappointed to learn that cain isn’t the egotist i thought he was. i expected him to bluster his way through until it became clear he’d never get the delegates to win the nomination. after all, as a newbie he was never expected to get out in front, so simply being behind, even far behind, should already have been taken for granted in his campaign. also, too, as long as cain remained an active candidate, he could count on the higher prestige translating into higher speaker fees and book sales, which i presume was the original purpose of the whole exercise.
but maybe the money just wasn’t there; the drying up of his campaign coffers may have brought home the cost of being a real contender versus the cost of being an also-ran.
I learned that Israel has no problem with the return of the Palestinian refugees.
I learned that the entire media landscape is willing to put up with an unlimited amount of contemptible treatment by Republican Presidential candidates, and no matter how unelectable and unqualified the candidate is, they will not do their jobs and state this forthrightly.
Next, and continuing, object example of this lesson: Newt.
Actually, the 14th Pokemon movie was released on the day this post was written in the US. Well, 14a and 14b since there are two versions to match each game.
They are also giving away a rare Pokemon as a promotional event. So if your kids like Pokemon, they can snag a Victini via WiFi.
Ah also, I actually really like Godfather’s for a chain. Yeah it’s greasy, but I find it tastier than all the other major chains except for Pizza Hut’s stuffed Crust pizza. The problem with GF’s pizza is that it’s too expensive!