What would, in your opinion, be the optimal outcome of the South Carolina primary?
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
As a native South Carolinian, my optimal outcome of the South Carolina Republican Primary would be:
A low turnout
Newt
Frothy Mix
Mittens
In that order.
an earthquake swallows the whole lot of them, and they are never seen or heard from again.
If ever there was a comment to make me spit whiskey up on my keyboard at 7:30 on a Saturday morning, this is it.
FWIW, I was going to go with ‘secession’. Your answer is better.
Heh. I was going for a 6-way simultaneous lightning strike, but your idea could work for me…
I hope you mean the candidates because I still have friends and family in South Carolina.
The two most likely places for an earthquake to swallow them would be near Charleston and near Strom Thurmond’s home town Edgefield.
My own fantasy preference for the candidate nitwits’ demise is at a photo op in the Great Pee Dee Swamp, shaking hands with the cottonmouths. The only risk there is if those poisonous water snakes show professional courtesy.
Win.
Brendan took my initial answer, so I’ll go with answer b): a six-way tie.
All of ’em admit they were only in it for the Fox News gig.
1st – Newt
2nd – Romney
3rd – Santorum
Romney to lose by 5% and to be only 1% higher than Santorum. I want Romney to win the nomination but I want him to squirm, sweat, flip and flop. I want him very much damaged by the general.
On the other hand if he sails to the nomination he might come into the general too confident and won’t be prepared for battle with President Obama.
Paul in 1st and Romney way behind.
Will it happen?
Doubtful. But…things do get unearthed. Look what happened to John Edwards.
If someone really pins Romney…an illegal and/or immoral this, that or the other thing…then watch out! All hell will break loose. This election could turn on a dime. Somebody drops a dime on Romney? New ballgame. Bet on it.
AG
Unfortunately, all the immoral things Mitt Romney has done are considered perfectly acceptable in American politics.
Ditto Obama.
AG
You’re saying that Obama and Romney are morally equivalent? Now where have I heard that before?
Paul 55%
Romney 30%
Gingrich 10%
Remainder 5%
Everyone drops out except Paul and Romney for the epic Romney vs. not-Romney fight.
My ideal would be:
Perry
Gingrich
Paul
Santorum
Romney
Huntsman
That should be enough to get Huntsman and Santorum to drop out.
Let Perry’s oil buddies have some fun with Mittens for a few weeks.
The optimal outcome of the South Carolina primary?
A right-in vote campaign gives Barack Obama the win. Stephen Colbert a distant second.
This has a number of beneficial features. The first and most important is that it’s just humiliating for Romney. The second is that it keeps Newt in the raceand probably wins him a few million dollars more in sweet, sweet SuperPAC money that he can use to shit all over Republican message discipline.
The most important part, though, is that it might finally shake the GOP money guys’ faith in Romney. This drags things out, could let Gingrich take advantage of the chaos to win Florida, and ultimately if they throw their weight behind somebody else, it’ll probably be Rick Santorum.
I don’t think anything will fire up the Democrats this cycle like the opportunity to thoroughly humiliate Rick Santorum, and nothing will scare away independents like that prissy, sweater-vest wearing creep who pretends to be from Pennsylvania.
Anything that creates chaos in the GOP. In particular, any outcome which allows one or more candidates to continue attacking (and receive media coverage for attacking) the eventual nominee.
Bonus outcome: anything which pushes the Mittster to taking on an extreme Veep candidate to “bring the party together.”
I second the motion.
Romney to win easily and this primary season to be over before February.
Because, apparently, unlike the rest of you wankers, I’m not scared of fucking Mitt Romney. Great, let him win early. It’s Mitt Romney! He’s a loser. He’s a career loser, even. Dukakis was a loser. Dole was a loser. Kerry was a loser. Romney is the same as those guys. He’s going down, so let’s just get on with it.
It’s not a matter of being scared of Romney – Obama will beat him handily – it’s a matter of fomenting civil war within the Republican party so that they lose the House and fail to take the Senate, not to mention the state and local impacts of a demoralized, in-fighting GOP.
Bravo Oscar!
Untold damage is being done at the state level. For example, an avalanche of new vote suppression laws. I don’t think we need to guess who those are aimed at.
Let it be Romney, then. But let it come on the heels of the maximum possible chaos and destruction.
Apparently, Stephen Colbert has passed Huntsman and his numbers are still climbing!