It’s a strange thing. We have these federal judges who are beginning to say that it does not logically follow that allowing same-sex marriage will lead to widespread bestiality with dogs. In other words, people like us who go around talking about Man on Dog are acting illogically. We’re not making sense. We’re full of crap.

Now, the hope is, if we can just get a Republican back in the White House, we can get some judges appointed who don’t value logic and don’t use it to make judicial decisions. The last thing we need is more of these reality-based judicial activist intellectuals telling us that our real American values are full of crap.

Because it’s obvious that if I can marry another man then I can marry my dog. And if it’s okay to marry my dog, it’s obviously okay for me to have sex with it. And if I can have sex with it, obviously I am going to do that.

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