Before this “Modern Whig” party catches fire and takes off, I feel like seizing the initiative and writing the first principles and platform. This can be my path to global domination.
And, why not? The first elected leader is right over in Philadelphia. That’s where newfangled American political ideas are supposed to be born. I’m thinking that the Modern Whig Party will stand for statehood for Puerto Rico and Washington DC, but we will oppose the expansion of voter suppression into those territories. Anyone fires on Fort Dix or Battery Park, it’s time to get serious about stamping this Tea Party foolishness out.
The Modern Whig Party will also support massive infrastructure projects, but with fewer canals. All sidewalks will be expanded so that three people can walk comfortably abreast. Running a for-profit prison will be considered a crime. Also, whining will be strongly discouraged.
It’s a work in progress, but it’s only a matter of time before the people get behind us.
I sy change it to the Wig Party, and everyone has to wear a wig AND a merkin.
It’ll catch on any day now. Just need to lay down some music behind one of those fine slogans:
“Let’s party like it’s 1858!” (I have an idea for this one.)
or
“AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A WHIG PARTY `CAUSE AT A WHIG PARTY THEY GIVE THE LONGEST INAUGURAL ADDRESS OF ALL TIME AND HENRY CLAY’S THERE AND THAT GUY CAN ORATE!”
Thanks for starting my morning Bman!
If that includes root canal then I’m on board.
I always loved the Whigs. Clay, Webster, Lincoln. Clay and Webster could par-tay, and Webster and Lincoln could lay rhetorical wood on some fools. OK, Winfield Scott was a pompous arse, but at least he was a competent pompous arse.
Luckily, I don’t think the modern Whig party will suffer electorally for staying mum on the issue of slavery in the territories.
I hear Karzai is also thinking along these lines, and it going to create an Afghan Whigs party.
This post reminded me of Simon, a movie by Marshall Brickman (Woody Allen’s co-writer on Annie Hall):
http://youtu.be/LOj5wptt-BU?t=42s
Put all the would be Whigs in isolation chambers.
Sounds like a win/win for the would be Whigs AND the country.
Whatever happened to “Free soil! Free labor! Free money!”?
The fact that it’s core is made up of military veterans makes me a little nervous.
I can see your first mistake:
A political party or any of it’s activities, platforms, or policy discussions without whining is like chicken cordon bleu without the chicken.
Aint possible. And if possible aint entertaining, aint motivating, and/or aint inspiring.
What is most politics if not one low key, long, whine. A classic for your consideration:
“So what if he is mediocre? There are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they? We can’t have all Brandeises, Cardozos, and Frankfurters and stuff like that there.”
Next, you’ll be discouraging lying and then most political debates will be as interesting as Thanksgiving dinner sitting between your aunt from Allentown and your brother in law from Bayonne.