I was holding out hope that Kathleen Parker’s critique of Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” program might include some insightful reforms or interesting anecdotes. But she actually concluded her critique by calling for parents to make their kids’ own damn lunch.

I admit that I had let down my guard. I allowed myself to get sucker-punched by Kathleen Parker because she had convinced me that she’s a “different kind of conservative.” You know, one with an ounce of common sense and some slight ability to empathize with mothers who don’t have the money for a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a banana.

My mistake. I will endeavor not to make it a second time.