Did you know that if a man masturbates he will discover that his hands are pregnant in the afterlife?
Serious Question

Did you know that if a man masturbates he will discover that his hands are pregnant in the afterlife?
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Yes I did. It is a well know GOP Religious order delusional believe. They also believe that only they are going to make it to heaven. I wonder if God and the Angels are rolling with belly laughs at that one?
Well, yes, except that the comment was made by a Turkish religious leader. Fundamentalists Christians have way more in common with fundamentalist Muslims than either group would like to believe.
” They also believe that only they are going to make it to heaven”
Not as crazy as it sounds. The New Testament, somewhere in the Gospels, quotes Jesus as saying “No man comes to the Father but through me”.
Now, I believe this was added later after Jesus’s death, but Christians believe that the New Testament quotes are accurate and the literal word of God.
Yes, sadly, many modern Christians have turned their beautiful religion into a personality cult. That John 3:16 passage is a mistranslation. Jesus was talking about traveling to God through the light of his teachings, which other great teachers have also carried. I’ve heard scholars who understand ancient Greek and Aramaic make sense of this passage.
Why would that be a bad thing? Life is good right?
As a Muslim convert, my response is that’s the most idiotic thing I’ve read in a long time. Nowhere in the Qu’ran does it address masturbation. The only credible hadith (story on the teachings of the prophet) state that it’s best to have sex with one’s spouse but if masturbation is necessary to prevent one from acting out one’s sexuality in a harmful or hurtful way, then it’s acceptable. Essentially it’s saying it’s best not to masturbate but if you have to it’s alright. This is consistent with more central hadiths on the holiness of sex and the importance of… Read more »
Thanks for sharing you thoughts on this. I am sincere about that.
On the other hand, this moron really doesn’t deserve such a thoughtful response.
No, the moron does’t. But then he hardly deserves a post on your blog. What’s the point of publicizing such trash. You could at least have let us know that the Second in Command at the Vatican has informed us that the outcome of the Irish referendum on same-sex marriage is ‘a disaster for humanity’. Now that’s an example of a cleric much closer to home getting into high gear!
No, not a diaster, a ‘defeat’. War!
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/may/26/vatican-ireland-gay-marriage-referendum-vote-defeat-for
-humanity
Thanks Martin. It’s truly my pleasure to share the little bit (I’m not a scholar) that I know about the real Islam (and real religion in general). Religion is so misused that it gets a much deserved bad reputation. But those who misuse it don’t even get what it is they’re misusing. Ironically, the Qu’ran warns about this. It states that the devil loves to quote scripture. It speaks of the importance of sincerity and how one shouldn’t be impressed by those who claim to be devout. It speaks of the essential unity of humanity and how it’s important to… Read more »
I also respect and appreciate your very thoughtful reply. And I am very happy to hear that you have found a way within the confines of a religion which works for you and gives you a grounding that helps you to realize your full potential as a human being. It sounds like your faith journey has had a wonderful and positive impact on your life. I take a little issue with the idea that “prayer is essential because we need it if we want to live full and rich lives. The kind of lives where we’re grateful for what we… Read more »
I don’t discount that at all. In my experience, many who hold themselves as non-believers are actually among the most holy of people. Prayer comes in many forms. I don’t think it has to be to a deity. Buddhists meditate and achieve amazing states of consciousness. My former law partner is a Taoist and gets a great deal from her studies and practices. There are artists who practice a form of prayer through their art. Being in nature or beholding a sunset can be a kind of prayer. Some people have hearts that just live in states of prayer, regardless… Read more »
So the average teenaged boy’s hands are like Duggars?
And then there was the lady who named her parakeet Onan.
But there is no evidence she had the pretense of being a “values voter”.
Perhaps some Plan B hand cream would help.
And then your hands give birth to what?
“I’m going to name you Rosie, and name your brother Jack.”
Now let’s go find an amusement park around here kids!”
Oh NO……Nineteen and counting ain’t gonna cut it fer me….I was always told ya get hairy palms and go blind…Well, so far I need glasses and as for the hairy palms…use yer imaginations….
OT: I’m gonna put it bluntly: THEY WANNA RETURN TO THE DAYS WHEN ONLY WHITE MALE PROPERTY OWNERS VOTED. PERIOD. They have NEVER been interested in little-d DEMOCRACY. NEVER!!! ……………………………. Only Voters Count? Conservatives ask the Supreme Court to restrict states’ rights and overturn precedent. By Richard L. Hasen For the second time in a year, the Supreme Court has agreed to wade into an election case at the urging of conservatives. In both cases it has done so despite the issue appearing to be settled by long-standing precedent. In a case expected to be decided next month, Arizona State… Read more »