This is pretty awesome.

What better way to celebrate a class’s graduation from high school than to point out that two-thirds of the graduates are morons? That’s what Volusia County, Florida, School Board Chairwoman Linda Costello decided to do during her commencement speech. The best part is that she seems genuinely surprised that much of the audience didn’t appreciate the sentiment.

Costello said by phone she regrets including part of a short speech that offended many of the nearly 400 graduates and their families. She said she didn’t realize she had erred until Monday morning when she received a handful of emails from people who were upset.

“Speaking of who you are as a class, you are smart. More than one-third of you are graduating with distinguished honors,” Costello told the group Sunday afternoon at the Ocean Center in Daytona Beach.

She paused for a moment as the room erupted in applause. But her audience was silent after the next line: “The rest of you underperformed.”

Yeah, yeah, I know that a lot of these kids really applied themselves and did they best they could and still did not get any distinguished honors for their efforts. But the important thing is not to let the slackers celebrate four years of unfocused teenage angst and misplaced priorities. It’s like, “Okay, here’s your diploma, congratulations on doing the bare minimum. Good luck in life, losers.”

And, of course, the appropriate reply is, “Look! Here is me, applying myself!”


Nicely played, Ms. Costello.

Nicely played.

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