Here’s an exercise. Tell me your answers to following questions. Which Republican presidential candidate:

1. is the funniest.
2. is the smartest.
3. seems like the most decent person.
4. would you drink a beer with (if you had to).

5. is the most gifted politician?

Here are my answers:

1. In the past, I would have said Huckabee but his sense of humor has curdled. None of these people are remotely funny, although Christie and Trump have their moments. I’m going with the Jersey guy over the New Yorker.
2. Hard to argue against the neurosurgeon Ben Carson, that is, until you ask him about anything other than brains. Jeb is definitely the most conversant about policy.
3. We have to get down in the weeds here but it’s probably a tie between Jim Gilmore and George Pataki. Since Pataki has a more natural smile, I’ll go with him.
4. This is pretty easy. I’d drink with Christie. We’d talk about Springsteen and growing up in Jersey, and we’d hit the snacks hard.
5. Apparently, it’s Trump.

Now for the opposite.

1. The least funny is Ted Cruz.

2. The dumbest is Rick Perry.
3. The worst person is Ted Cruz.
4. I’d least like to drink with Ted Cruz.
5. The least gifted politician is apparently Lindsey Graham, although I could go with Rick Perry or possibly even (remains to be seen) Jeb!

What surprised me about my answers?

As a current Pennsylvanian, I’m amazed that there are people worse than Rick Santorum in every category.

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